“Isn’t it strange that there is training in almost every job situation EXCEPT motherhood! And it is the most important job a woman can ever have.” -Cherie

My Christian sisters, I have a heart plea on behalf of you, myself, and our daughters.

Especially our daughters.

Most of us have been raised with the notion that we can have it all – career, family, and independence.

I don’t think we can.

Before I get to my plea, I want to share the common threads that have been weaved into our generation…

“I was raised with the mindset that I could have a career and a family.”

“My parents never discussed my future…”

“I was raised thinking that women who stayed at home were wasting their time and their lives.”

“I kind of just fell into being a sahm.”

“My family is very big on education.”

“My mom always said we didn’t need a man.”

“My mom was a SAHM, but I don’t think I was raised with either mindset. It was more of “Do what you think is best.”

“I was raised with the mentality that I could stay home and have a family, only if I achieved a 4 year degree, first.”

“Never depend on a man to take care of you. Get your own job so you can have your own money.”

“My parents prepared me to do whatever God called me to do.”

“My mother was a stay at home southern belle who never planted any seeds for me to consider.”

“I think I was raised to do whatever my heart felt lead to do.”

“My mom worked much of the time while I was growing up. I figured I’d be a working mom, too…”

Now look at us!  I would say that this post has sparked a great unmasking of what we are struggling with. While we are not with excuse, we can see that damage has been done.  Now, it must be said that many things go into how and/or why were taught the way we were…wounds, confusion, misunderstandings, circumstances, sin etc., and thank God grace covers.  But friends, WE have a choice to make, now, today on how we want to raise our daughters.  Do we want to raise them up in confusion or with conviction and truth?

It is my plea that you and I would choose to go against the current culture and, with conviction, teach and train our daughters  how to love their husbands, love their children, and be workers at home…so that the word of God will not be dishonored.  Will it be a struggle?  Yes, because we have to re-train ourselves, but thank God there are godly women out there to help us and walk beside us! (Sally, Robin, June are some of my favorites in the blogosphere).

I don’t know about you, but I want to give my daughters something better…something firm to stand on.  I want them to be thoroughly prepared to what normally happens to women -getting married and having children.  I wish so desperately that I would have been trained in these things.  With this opportunity that you and I possess, this fresh start and new beginning, we can usher in a beautiful change that will impact generations.  It doesn’t mean that everything will be rosy (we still have the curse to contend with), but they will be far ahead of the game.

“…so that they [older women] may encourage [or train] the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored [blasphemed or discredited].” Titus 2:3-5

I know that some of you want to be home and can’t for various reasons – my heart goes out to you and I stand with you in praying that the Lord will bring you back home.  I believe He is faithful to what He calls us to.

I encourage you to visit this website often, for it will fill you with good and lovely things to think upon as you seek to build up the gigantic impact of your home.

Recommended Article:

In Over Our Heads

Recommended Listen:

What’s A Girl To Do – Download (right now!) for $4.95

“What’s A Girl To Do?” – CD for $7

“Feminism is winning the ideological battle for our civilization, and Christians are among its casualties.” Phil Lancaster

(Custom sign from Danielson Designs Studio)

I have been very intentional this week on teaching my children obedience, and it has been a tough but fruitful week.  I am so thankful to have a God that knows I (and my children) am going to fail, and that ultimately my children are in His hands – so I pray that when I fail, they will run to Him. 

We must remember that when our children disobey, they are just doing what they know to do – they are sinners! It is our job to “civilize” them.  I also realize that in order to effectively train your children, you must be with them. I strongly, with a sincere heart, encourage you to do whatever you can to be home with your children in order to train them up to be the people who may very well lead nations.

With all that said, I have listed some of the resources that have best helped me in teaching my children obedience, especially first-time obedience.  I do not necessarily agree or adhere to everything on these websites (nor have I read each and every word on them), but there are still some great applications – as always, use wisdom.

(Let’s also try to let our babes see more smiles on our face then that “hard” angry one that afflicts many moms, myself included.)

Child Training Resources

Raising Godly Tomatoes (This whole website is filled with very practical “how-to” obedience advice.)

Excerpt: Teaching obedience so you don’t have to teach anything else….Love, nurture, encourage and educate them constantly. Teach them who God is and what His ways are like. When they disobey, or display a bad attitude, or do anything a godly child would not do, correct them promptly and require them to repeat what they did in godly manner. Once they have obeyed you with at pleasant attitude (never proceed until they do), go back to loving, nurturing, teaching, mentoring, apprenticing and enjoying your children as you were before. Watch your children.

Achieving First-Time Obedience

Excerpt: One of the most important things you need to require of yourself is consistency. If you want first-time obedience from your child, you must be 100% consistent. If you slip, he will too. But if you require it, he will meet your expectation. Your child will only rise to the expectation you set for him. Set the bar high but keep in mind you need to do the work to help him get there.

Gentle Reminders to Children When Habit Training

Excerpt: I think a seven year old often needs gentle reminders. However, there sometimes comes a point when Mom needs to assess the situation (applying wisdom) and determine if the child has slipped into a bad habit.

The Strong Willed Child

Excerpt: To a child a little older, “Honey, you are forgetting that your emotions are not the boss of yourself, YOU are. You must control them. When you feel angry, do not let it overcome you. The Lord says that an angry person is like a castle with no walls around it to protect it. You don’t want the enemy to win or you will regret it later. You want to be a happy person.”

Behavior & Disciple Issues

Covers…

1. Bribing Children
2. Children Biting
3. Children and Fears
4. Educational Component of Correction
5. Parenting Your Child’s Emotions
6. Proper Use of Rewards
7. Spanking
8. Sibling Conflict How to Prevent It.
9. Temper Tantrums
10. Whining

Little Fools in Aldi

Excerpt: Much of the reason I feel so deeply about this is my own burden for how our culture has lost the fear of the Lord. My three year old has a decent grasp on theology for a preschooler, but there is much that she is simply unable to comprehend because of age and cognitive development. She can’t really understand the concept of fearing God, but she can understand the concept of fearing her parents!

Let’s get specific – for the spanker’s and the non-spankers:

Discipline: Loving Use of the Rod (For those who spank)

The Mystery of Discipline (For those who don’t spank, but can also be used for those who do!)

Related articles from Like a Warm Cup of Coffee:

Blessings or Burdens?  Dealing with Disobedience

Whining & Complaining – Sinning With Your Mouth (Correcting A Whining Kiddo)

Other Resources

Raising Godly Children (4 DVD’s) – I just ordered this, so I’ll let you know how it is after I watch it!

Whew!  Hope this helpful!

Oh, and don’t forget to link-up here if you have donated to Samaritan’s Purse!

I am realizing how quickly disobedience reigns when not nipped in the bud!  It is my primary focus right now to teach my children obedience, first-time obedience, with a happy heart and willing spirit…so it will be well with them (see commandment #5).

All else is on the back burner right now.

The below excerpt from Charlotte Mason has spurred me on greatly…

“The mother’s great stronghold is in the habit of obedience. If she begin by requiring that her children always obey her, why, they will always do so as a matter of course; but let them once get the thin end of the wedge in, let them discover that they can do otherwise than obey, and a woeful struggle begins, which commonly ends in the children doing that which is right in their own eyes.

This is the sort of thing which is fatal: The children are in the drawing room, and a caller is announced. ‘You must go upstairs now.’ ‘Oh, mother dear, do let us stay in the window-corner; we will be as quiet as mice!’ The mother is rather proud of her children’s pretty manners, and they stay. They are not quiet, of course; but that is the least of the evils; they have succeeded in doing as they chose and not as they were bid, and they will not put their necks under the yoke again without a struggle. It is in little matters that the mother is worsted. ‘Bedtime, Willie!’ ‘Oh, mamma, just let me finish this’; and the mother yields, forgetting that the case in point is of no consequence; the thing that matters is that the child should be daily confirming a habit of obedience by the unbroken repetition of acts of obedience. It is astonishing how clever the child is in finding ways of evading the spirit while he observes the letter. ‘Mary, come in.’ ‘Yes, mother’; but her mother calls four times before Mary comes. ‘Put away your bricks’; and the bricks are put away with slow reluctant fingers. ‘You must always wash your hands when you hear the first bell.’ The child obeys for that once, and no more.

To avoid these displays of willfulness (wilLESSnes), the mother will insist from the first on an obedience which is prompt, cheerful, and lasting–save for lapses of memory on the child’s part. Tardy, unwilling, occasional obedience is hardly worth the having; and it is greatly easier to give the child the habit of perfect obedience by never allowing him in anything else, than it is to obtain this mere formal obedience by a constant exercise of authority.

By-and-by, when he is old enough, take the child into confidence; let him know what a noble thing it is to be able to make himself do, in a minute, and brightly, the very thing he would rather not do. To secure this habit of obedience, the mother must exercise great self-restraint; she must never give a command which she does not intend to see carried out to the full. And she must not lay upon her children burdens, grievous to be borne, of command heaped upon command.”

Once it’s gone…

it’s gone.

Forever.

I don’t want to lose my only chance at this parenting gig by sticking around my computer too much.  Time is scooped up into the gates of eternity in a snap…and eternity only goes one way: forward.

I’m also not a believer in balancing it all.  I not only think it can’t be done, I don’t think it should.

I do like this blogging thing though because I have things to say…to ponder…to process.

So the blog stays.

But my presence on it will most likely be less.  Perhaps my series, thoughts, and stories will be shared a couple times a week instead of nearly everyday.  We’ll see.

The point is, I want to look back one day and know I gave myself to my family fully.  I don’t want to risk them for me, because ultimately, they are not mine, they are His.  I am just a steward who has the incredible privilege and joy of loving them.

And love is a big deal…it is no easy task.

It takes time.

It takes attention.

It takes intention.

It takes…

but it also gives.

So, in the spirit of loving fully,

I’ll see ya when I see ya.  :)

Really?  I mean, really?

Bored?

Aside from the obvious question, “what do you think we do all day?  Nothing?  Hello!  We BLOG!”  ;)

Seriously though,

I can think of about a million things you could do if you were bored…for starters, if you only have one munchkin, how about starting a home business, writing a book, volunteering, crafting, READING (yea, miss that), etc. etc. etc….

And trust me, once you have have more than one, you won’t be bored.  I promise.

And if you are, home educate.

You will never say you are bored again.

Did  you know that in Tennesse a baby is not considered as a “live birth” if he/she only lives for two minutes and only has a slight heartbeat?

Hmmm…

It would make sense to consider the baby a live birth if it was, in fact, a live birth…right?  I’m not privy to all the details of what constitutes live births legally, but I am aware (thanks to Traci) of a sweet mama who had a baby that only breathed for two minutes, and she sure would like to have a birth certificate.  The problem is, because her baby was not considered a live birth, she can’t get one.  You can read more about why the birth certificate was denied here, and if, after reading that, you think she should be able to get one for her son, won’t you sign the petition?

Honestly, I’m not sure where I stand…weird, right?  What are your thoughts?

My beautiful sweet blessing, deeply loved and treasured-

I have a love song rising in my heart for you, and it goes like this…

I adore you…and love you to pieces!!!  Now, as your mama, there are some things I’d like to tell you…My child, my first born, so let’s start with knowing the truth of who you are.  Like fine china, my darling daughter, you are made beautiful by your creator, the God of the universe, the King of all, and the savior of my soul.  He is so good to have given you to me and your daddy.  You are joy.  You are beauty. You are woven together by God in a perfectly fashioned, unique personality that sprinkles my life with happiness and fun.  I eagerly await getting to know the depth of your inmost being - all of who you are and who you will be.  As I look into your big, beautiful, dancing blue eyes, I know that one day, God willing, those eyes will be looking with love into the eyes of another, the eyes of your kinsmen redeemer.  How I long for you to love deeply and with freedom.  Wait for God’s perfect timing.  Please trust Him, believe Him, obey His word and you will find good fruit and abundant blessing.  I know that on this earth we will never experience the perfection that awaits us one day in heaven, but my hope for you is that you will claim the promises of the One who loves you more than any man could, more that your father or I could.  When you are His, He promises that you can be pure, holy, blameless, forgiven, blessed, guided, secure, healed, and a new creation.  When you screw up, humbly know that He already paid for it and move on striving to do what’s right.  Don’t ever give up.  When you have regrets, send them to the feet of Jesus and walk in freedom that each day is new and you can start over.  Give the pain to the one who heals.  He will bind up your broken heart, and their will be times when you do have a broken heart.  When it’s easier to do the wrong thing, to give in, to not care, I pray you persevere, knowing that perseverance produces “character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Stand firm when temptations arise, when they seem unbearable, stand firm and pray.  He hears you.  Pray.  Talk to Him, pour out your heart, lay down fear and preconceived notions of how and what to do, and just talk to Him.  He sits on a throne of grace.  You can always approach Him.  Don’t believe the lie that you can’t because you keep messing up.  Go to Him, persevere.  Pray.  He knows you and He loves you.

I love you my precious daughter.  I am hear for you, flawed as I am, I promise to do my best to listen to you, to really hear you, to accept that you are independent of me and have your own set of passions and gifts and dreams that may not be my own, to be a parent of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,  gentleness, faithfulness, goodness and self-control.  It is my dream, prayer and hope for you that you love the LORD your God with all your heart, mind, body and soul.  But if you choose not to, I will love you anyway.  Thank you for the laughter, love, beauty, and depth you bring to my life.  I release you into the hands of God as I seek His face in raising you.

With more love then I can describe,
Your mama

A few simple words throughout the day

a heart turned towards your babes

“You are a blessing, a gift, a joy!”

How easy they are to say

and what

a long way

they go

This post is linked up with Works for Me Wednesday

Photo Credit: Mother and Daughter

Many parents seem to be getting seriously revved about Obama giving a 15-20 minute address to children in the public schools.

My opinion?

There is no need to get all worked up, “revolt” or take your children out of school that day.

Here are the facts:

• The president will speak directly to students Tuesday about the need to work hard and stay in school. His address will be shown live on the White House Web site and on C-SPAN at noon EDT, a time when classrooms across the country will be able to tune in.

• Schools don’t have to show it.

• President Bush made a similar address to schools in 1991.

• The White House plans to release the speech online Monday so parents can read it.

If those of you who have chosen to put your children in public schools are worried about the indoctrination of Obama then I suggest two things:

1.  Let your students go to school that day but make sure to have conversations with them about Obama and his policies.  Teach them to think critically.

2.  Home-educate your children – it’s not just Obama “indoctrinating,” it’s the whole public school system.  (Which, if you choose public school for your babes, see suggestion number 1.)

And that’s my two-cents!  :)

What are your thoughts about it?  Am I missing something?

Source of Information: Obama speech to students sparks new controversy

Moms, I have a wee little tip for you regarding your sweet little girls and modesty.

Put shorts under their skirts and dresses.

Such a simple way to protect their little heiny’s from random eyes.

Little girls like to run and jump and roll on the floor, and their cute little dresses come right on up.  Sometimes, in their innocence, they hold up their dresses/skirts for all the world to see.

But you don’t want the world to see, right?

So grab some shorts and make it a habit.  It just might stick with them.

:)

I use biker type shorts that are tighter because loose shorts don’t cover well at all.