I’m also at (in)courage today writing about the girl you don’t let your children play with.

I love soaking in wisdom from older Titus 2 women who have gone before in grace and obedience in the Lord; I want to learn from them. Today’s interview is with Mrs. Rhonda Devine, a woman I met this past summer while vising the Brookshires. After spending some time with Rhonda, I knew she was a woman I wanted to interview. Grab some coffee and enjoy getting to know Rhonda!  (Curious as to what Lady of Wisdom interviews are all about?  Click here.)

S.M. You have chosen the stay-at-home mom life-style – why did you choose that path?

R.D. Before Herb and I married, we had pretty much decided I would be a SAHM.  The choice for me came down to taking a honest, hard look at the scriptures.  I spent a year doing a topical study(starting at Genesis all the way through Revelation) on marriage and a woman’s role when I was 17.  I became convinced that the best way I could glorify God was to be in my home being a helpmeet to my husband and training my children.  After trying to work a few months after our first son was born, I became even more passionate about fulfilling the role God has called me to, came home, and never looked back!

S.M. You are a homeschooling family, could you tell me when/why you and your husband decided to homeschool?

R.D. We became acquainted with an older couple in our church who had home schooled children. They opened up their lives to us and we were so impressed with the behavior and training in their children’s lives, we began to ask questions.  They really mentored us and seeing the way they honored Christ in their home life was something that inspired us–we knew that’s what we wanted to do in the lives of our own children.  We began home schooling our firstborn, Daniel, in 1988 when he was four.  Three other children later, we have now been at it twenty-two years.  Home schooling has become a way of life for us–it is so natural to teach your own children, I can’t imagine anything different.  Over the years we have become even more passionate as we have grown in our understanding of what it means to train up your children.

S.M. What kinds of kinds of things did you do to train your children in the Lord?

R.D. Lots of reading to them, sharing scripture with them for instructing them in right living,

Trying to live the example in front of them so they know my faith is real.  My husband has taken the lead in discipling them and teaching them to serve others.  They worship alongside us and serve with us as well.  They see our lives 24/7 so it is a good motivator to be real and model an authentic walk with Christ.

S.M. What are some “tools” in your tool kit of parenting that have worked for you?

R.D. Lots of prayer, asking for God’s grace where I have failed.  The Word of God has been the foundation of our parenting.  God has so much more wisdom than we do.  In my opinion, my husband is a far better parent than I am as he is so much better at seeing below the surface and reaching their hearts.  We very much believe in being with your children much of the time.  We believe God requires us to make disciples of our children, which means spending large amounts of time with them, walking alongside them.  We have spent countless hours traveling, reading, serving, learning and working together.  So, to sum it up:  Prayer, Grace, Time, God’s Word

S.M. What would you do over if you could?

R.D. I would have shown more honor to my husband when I was a younger wife/mother, encouraging him to take the lead spiritually and making sure my relationship with him came before my relationship with my children.   I did not grow up with a strong father figure in my life, so this was an area I needed to grow in.  I would have also encouraged my son to spend more time with his dad instead of being so keyed up about missing a day of math. :)

S.M. Did you have family worship/devotion time? If so, how did you do this?

R.D. We do have family worship times, though we are not rigid as far as it has to be every day, usually 2-3 times a week.  We really try to just walk our faith which leads to conversations about God and His Word and how it applies to whatever is happening in our world or lives that day.  In other words, we don’t want a ritual, but relationship.

S.M. Any advice for stay-at-home moms who feel like they have to escape?

R.D. I totally understand how a young mom can feel overwhelmed with responsibility.  I had three children in five years after having an only child for 11.  Talk about a change of life!  My husband became sensitive to this and would take over the children for an hour or so after he came home when I needed a break.  He also gave me mom’s nights out with friends or just some time by myself on a Saturday once in a while.  I didn’t need it all the time, but once or twice a month was a nice break.  A lot of it has to do with your mindset, realizing the Lord will never give you more than you can bear~He has promised that.  So don’t believe the lie that you can’t take anymore; rather rest in Him for His peace and share with your husband your need for a little quiet time as well.

S.M. How did you make time for your husband when you were exhausted with little ones?

R.D. This was definitely a challenge!  Getting into a routine is crucial, especially if you have lots of little ones.  Getting them to bed at a decent time frees up some time for your husband.  Also, always remember your marriage has to come first.  One of the most important gifts you can give your children is a solid marriage.  Your children have to come second otherwise there will be consequences in your relationships.

S.M. What is the greatest thing you’ve learned in how to be a good wife?

R.D. To grow in my understanding of what I as a woman was created for–that of helper.  I am my husband’s completer and I am happiest when I am helping him, working together as a team.  We refuse to live separate lives, each pursuing our own dreams, which we have seen lead to devastating consequences in marriages.

S.M. What is your favorite “cheap” date?

R.D. A cup of java at Starbucks. :)

S.M. If you could only pass on one piece of wisdom for young wives and moms, what would it be?

R.D. Follow Christ whole-heartedly by living out a radical life of obedience to His Word, which means rejecting the cultural mumbo-jumbo about finding yourself.  You are here for God’s glory, to complete your husbands and disciple your children and together let your light shine so the world can see Him.

…

Thank you so much Rhonda for taking the time to “teach the younger women.” We are thankful for your wisdom!

Related: Now Is Your Chance to Mentored By an Older, Godly Couple

Rhonda has been married to Herb for 27 years and together they have four children, ages 26 through 11, whom they have home schooled for the last 22 years. Their oldest son, Daniel, is a journalist for World magazine.

Rhonda’s passion is to follow Christ wholeheartedly by serving in her role as helpmeet to Herb–which includes helping run their business, ministering at their local church, and using hospitality and biblical counseling to strengthen believers and build strong family units for the glory of God. Through mentoring and writing, her heart’s desire is to see women blessed in their roles as helpmeets and mothers.

Rhonda’s hobbies include gardening, canning, reading to her children, travel with her family, learning history, and ebaying. You can read her thoughts at Walking with Sarah and Raising Homemakers.

___

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“I would love to see a sweeping movement of the Holy Spirit all over the world because of moms learning to be intentional about raising wholehearted children for God’s glory and see that we salt the future with godly leaders…It will be so much fun to see just what the Lord can do in this generation and to think we could have been a part of a great awakening.”

Tuesday, January 18th from 9-10pm EST I will be hosting a Twitter chat with author and speaker Sally Clarkson.

Sally has written several inspiring and helpful books on motherhood, including The Mission of Motherhood and Seasons of a Mother’s Heart.  She has also collaborated with her husband on the outstanding resources, Educating the WholeHearted Child and Our 24 Family Ways. Sally is a gem; she is full of wisdom, grace, and hope. She is a tremendous blessing to me, and I am honored to call her my mentor and friend.

Sally is also the host of the popular Mom Heart conference. Here is a little bit about the conference, which is now in its 14th year:

“Mom Heart Conferences are especially designed to encourage, inspire and instruct moms in their strategic call to build a godly inheritance in their homes by learning to love and disciple their children. This year, her message is that the world needs moms who will proudly proclaim, “My mom heart matters!” A movement of motivated moms can reclaim motherhood and shape the future for God’s glory. Sally will strenthen and encourage your heart to rise to the task of raising wholehearted children for Christ at home. She will be joined by other moms who share that passion for motherhood in messages and panel discussions (to be announced). The conference includes practical workshops, inspirational worship, a banquet luncheon, book tables, and more.”

If you would like to spend some time having Sally answering some of your mom questions, join us this Tuesday at the #momheart Twitter chat. Sally will be giving away some books and DVD’s and a grand prize of a full conference pass to one of her Mom Heart conferences (held in Colorado (sold out), North Caroline, California, and Texas).  You do not have to R.S.V.P, just show up and we’ll guide you!

Details:

Follow: @sarahmaewrites and @Sally_Clarkson

Hashtag: #momheart

Date: Tuesday, January 18th

Time: 9-10pm EST

Where: Twitter

Recommended Way to Tweet: Tweet Chat

*If you do not already have a Twitter account, you can sign up for one for free at Twitter.com. If you would like further help on navigating through a Twitter chat, read this wonderfully helpful how-to post.

I hope to see you there!

Today’s Lady of Wisdom interview is with my Mother-in-Law, Susan, who is such a gracious, humble, lovely, godly woman who inspires me to persevere in my role as a woman, wife, and mother.  She may or may not have threatened to tackle me at one point in our relationship when I was just dating her son {ahem}.

SM: Why did you choose to be a stay-at-home mom?

Susan: My plan when Gary and I married was that I would continue to work when I had children, however, after I became a believer I was deeply convicted about staying at home with the children; I felt like someone had to be home taking care of them. I knew, even when I was a very young woman, that those little souls were the most important thing to me.  There is only so much time to invest into their lives, and I didn’t want to miss that.  It is not quality time but the quantity of time that we have with them.  I did do other things and use the giftings God gave me, such as counseling, teaching Sunday school, leading bible studies, and volunteering, but my main priority was my home.   It wasn’t perfect, and there was heartache, frustration, and even times of feeling inadequate. What kept me going was that I knew instinctively and from God’s Word were I should be.

SM: What kinds of things did you do to train your children in the Lord?

Susan: Both Gary and I felt very strongly about Deuteronomy 6, so our faith was an everyday, intentional occurrence. We also tried to teach our children about serving others by having them with us when we served.  We were consistent in church and being joined with other believers. We were intentional about sharing the gospel, and intentional about saying, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” We also taught them to show grace towards others.  Another very important thing Gary and I did was we developed our own relationship with God through bible reading, study, memorization, and developing our marriage relationship. Developing the marriage relationship is so very important, not just for you and your husband, but because of the huge affect it has as on your children.

SM: What are some “tools” in your tool kit of parenting that have worked for you that you could pass on to younger moms?

• Schedules – Children need schedules/routine; they get security from it, discipline, and they are even happier.
• Curbing what you invite into your home – T.V., we weren’t into whatever was popular out there, we tried to bring in wholesome things into our lives.  Hold the line on things, even when you get a hard time.
• Share about purity in mind, heart, and body –hold the line with that as well. We taught our daughters that you can be attractive and beautiful without showing a lot.  It’s also very important that a father doesn’t put is daughters down or make them feel impure.
• Talk about sexual things with them in light of God’s Word
• Be most concerned for their salvation

SM: What would you do over if you could?

Susan: The biggest thing I wish I could do is having had a better handle on my emotions, my anger… I wish I could have curbed my temper more – I was harsh at times.  I went back and said I’m sorry, and prayed a lot about it, but I just lost it at times.  I hated that.

SM: Any advice for stay-at-home moms who feel like they’ve lost themselves as women or are just exhaused?

Susan: The things that kept me going and that I recommend are: a supportive husband, dates with your husband so you can be a wife (not just a mother), and stay in the Word (powerful) – God’s Word is what will help you to persevere.  I also think it is healthy to take time on your own as a refreshment (not as an escape).

SM: How did you make time for your husband when you were exhausted with little ones?

Susan:  I would take a nap.  I took power naps (even 20 minutes) and that would refresh me enough to have energy for my husband.  Also, I would set my mind on him. I purposefully made myself look nice – you have to be intentional or it doesn’t happen. You’re always going to be tired, but you have to take time to rest.

SM: What is the greatest thing you’ve learned in how to be a good wife?

Susan: The greatest thing I’ve learned is realizing the grace God has given me and being able to turn around and show grace towards my husband. Whatever I’ve accused him of, guess whose done it too?  Me.

Today’s post is linked up with the first ever Polished Cornerstones link-up on RaisingHomemakers.com.

Read more Lady of Wisdom interviews here.

Continued from yesterday…you can read part 1 of the interview here.

Sarah Mae:  Did you have family worship/devotion time? If so, how did you do this?

Sally:  We used to do devotions every day as a family when my children were young. We read a children’s story Bible, or from my own Bible, or studied the 24 Family Ways or I would just share from my heart from what the Lord was teaching me. Often, Clay would have to go to work before all the kids were up, and then I would do it. On Sundays, we have a feast for breakfast and then do a Bible time together to make up for those days when we can’t always be together–especially since my older children have moved on to their own schedules and jobs and school. It keeps us all unified. We also had numerous family prayer times when issues would arise. Always prayed with each child before they went to bed. We had these devotionals most days and it was a way of living and talking –as it was the way we were taught to live our own lives. Daily going to the Lord. Building this as a habit is essential to building it into the lives of your children and into the values of their hearts. They will not do what they do not see you do.

SM:  Any advice for stay-at-home moms who feel like they have to escape?

Sally:  Define for yourself what your felt needs are–to be alone? to be with other friends? to have some adult time? to have some adventure? I learned when I was a missionary that people don’t last unless they manage to have preferences built into their lives that suit their personalities. It is different for different people. I am a restless person and become overwhelmed with the mundane. Consequently, I built trips and fun and doing things with other family friends into my schedule. I learned that this homeschooling/mothering journey is a very long journey and I wanted to be resilient as long as I could. When I feel myself moving towards burn out, I assess what I am feeling and then try to figure out how to be a better manager of my time of plan a break after a very intense season (like birthing babies, or illness or holidays or moves or lots of travel–I need to plan life according to the stress points I am feeling.)

Also, most of us have not been trained to do this very difficult job. So sometimes we are just going to feel like escaping. Sometimes getting away with a friend or husband is possible and sometimes it isn’t. I also see that, after learning to be faithful year after year, even when I felt overwhelmed, that God was increasing my capacity to love and work and endure with grace. Sometimes we just have to trust the Lord, choose to have joy and cultivate life and beauty. Many people live such a rigid life and are so very harsh with their children, that just the environment they create kills their soul. Again, so many issues and so many different answers. But overall, all women should know that feeling like running away from time to time is perfectly normal. Sometimes I would feel like I couldn’t make it without a break–and then when I would get away from my children for a time out with someone or by myself, I would miss my children and want to see how they were doing!

SM:  How did you make time for your husband when you were exhausted with little ones?

Sally:  Again, planning is everything. My husband didn’t need expensive dates away or have to go out on a date or do something–he just wanted me–we were best friends and companions. When we had one baby, we went out to breakfast every week and put her on a blanket on the floor and talked. Later, we still tried to schedule in an early morning planning/talking time. Sometimes we would do major planning once every six months to plan schedules, vacations, time away as a family, personal time, ministry plans–it helped me to know that we would get time together by sticking to our plans. But, because I didn’t have support systems or babysitting when my children were young, I had to be creative. I mainly needed talk time.

So, often, I would let the kids stay up late and then get up early and make breakfast for Clay and me and talk over a pot of tea. (Since we lived in Europe a long time, we both got used to tea. Even now, we both get up about an hour before anyone else. Often we sit for a few minutes over a cup of tea before we both go our own way to read. This worked for us–others are night people. (Clay stays up until midnight or after every night and I was just too tired!)

You just have to create what works for you the best. However, honestly, we were both so exhausted when our children were young, that we would both fall into bed at night and just try to handle life the best we could. (Had lots of asthma, ear infections, pneumonia issues with our children–all had respiratory problems.) Sometimes, when he would come home from work, I would have saved my Winnie the Pooh video for when he came home from work and I would have a 20 or 30 minute time with him before the evening took over.

SM:  What is the greatest thing youʼve learned in how to be a good wife?

Sally:  Giving grace and living in grace and unconditional love and respecting my husband as he is–even if he never changes–is the foundation to giving him a safe place to show me his heart. Nagging and criticism never open a man–they just push him further away. Serving my husband with my whole heart is a service of worship to God. I do it because I love the Lord–and then it isn’t about whether Clay has met my needs, but it is about being the best for the Lord that I can be–out of thanksgiving and loyalty to my wonderful savior. It is Him I serve in my marriage. Also,to listen to my husband and try to hear what he is really saying–he needs support, respect and not fixing. Also, I call him every day on the phone and send him appreciation emails and arrange for us to be alone–because it is not his strength to always remember, but he always enjoys it when I take initiative to make my time with him special.

SM:  What is your favorite “cheap” date?

Sally:  Sending my children to someone else’s house, making a candle light meal  that we both love and just relaxing together. Too much fuss exhausts me in the midst of my busy-ness and he likes my cooking the best. I also enjoy going on a long walk together in the national park near our house and ending with a coffee or tea time. Dinner at a favorite restaurant with candle-light–where we split a dinner, is also fun.

SM:  If you could only pass on one piece of wisdom for young wives and moms, what would it be?

Sally:  Learn to love the Lord and choose to believe in Him every day. Read the word and walk by faith. When you focus on Him and cultivating a love-relationship with Him, all that you need will be added to you. From Him you will receive wisdom, grace, strength, hope, direction, instruction, love, forgiveness, peace.

SM:  Sally, thank you so much for taking the time to pass on your wisdom to us!

Read more Lady of Wisdom interviews here.

Sally Clarkson…She who dreams, laughs, and greatly loves her husband, her children and the God who made them all. She lives for strong English tea out of a china cup, passionate ideas, great books, and fine food served with stimulating conversation.  Find Sally at her blog, I Take Joy, or through one of her many wonderful books.

Subscribe here to not miss a day!

Read more Lady of Wisdom interviews here.

I love soaking in wisdom from older Titus 2 women who have gone before in grace and obedience in the Lord.  Sally is one of those women, and I am honored to have been able to interview her.  (Curious as to what Lady of Wisdom interviews are all about?  Click here.)

Sarah Mae: Why did you choose to be a stay-at-home mom?

Sally:  After I had my first child, Sarah, I was surprised at how immediately I fell in love with her. I was the only girl in my family and had rarely even babysat, but I absolutely adored her. As I read scripture, “Children are a blessing, the fruit of the womb is a reward” and the Deuteronomy 6 passage about teaching your children all day long; and finally the passage when Jesus said, “Woe to the one who causes the least of these little ones to stumble,” I had a real sense of my stewardship of her mind, heart, and soul. I knew that someday, when I met Jesus face to face, He would hold me accountable for how I invested into this little human being whose soul would last for eternity. I also realized that no one would love her as I did and no one would have the same knowledge, truth and love to pass on to her as I had in my heart. It seemed Biblical to me to stay home with her and my other children–to disciple them as I had been doing for many years with adults in other parts of the world.

SM: When/Why did you become passionate about homeschooling?

Sally:  My husband, Clay, and I were so passionate about building our children into godly people, and training them as we had been training adults. (I was in full time ministry for 7 years before I got married to Clay and didn’t have my first child for 3 more years, after more training and discipling of women–I was almost 32 when I had Sarah). Clay and I had talked one day about the fact that if we had been pouring our lives into training others to be mature in Christ, that if we ever had children, shouldn’t we do the same with them? So I became committed to homeschooling before I was even pregnant with Sarah, 26 years ago–purely out of ministry philosophy! The idea of training and nurturing adults in their Christian lives so that they could more fully learn to walk with God and to have a ministry was a paradigm out of my life–so the whole necessity of training and instructing a person was already in my life experience. I knew that maturity and understanding and intelligence didn’t just happen naturally–had to be intentionally taught. So Homeschooling was a natural step to doing this with our children.

When I actually started reading out loud to my sweet baby and teaching her, I enjoyed it so much. I realized what an opportunity I had to shape her mind, her values, to lay a Biblical foundation and to give her love and training in exceptional ways. The more I did it, the more I loved it. I had also become convinced, by living in Europe for 6 years, that the American system of education was quite inferior–that it was a fill in the blank, multiple choice educational philosophy. I knew that  most Americans didn’t know how to think and were not even familiar with the vast historical and political knowledge that most of my European companions had from their education. So I came to it and became passionate about it from an educational philosophical point of view, as well–having never heard of the homeschooling movement.

SM:  What kinds of kinds of things did you do to train your children in the Lord?

Sally:  All of these questions are great and could be endless in their answers. I wrote a book, Ministry of Motherhood, about much of my personally philosophy. Basically, we had daily devotions and I shared from my own quiet times every day. We talked about the Lord and who He was morning, noon and night. We took our children with us in ministry and planned on ways for them to become engaged with us as a way of life, (made them all staff at our mom’s conferences from the time they could toddle and gave them jobs at the conferences). We had lots of groups into our home–started groups for them, too–mother-daughter; Father-son; Family Bible studies and pot lucks) and we took our children with us all over the world. We made them our best friends and talked, talked everywhere we went. We also prayed for anything and every thing along the way during our days and involved them in praying for everything that we had on our heart. Last, but not least, is that we showed them the incarnational side of Christ–beauty, love, great meals, rousing discussions, friendship and comfort–the total picture of Christ. He was not just a theological thought to know, but a personal God to love and relate to!

SM:  How did you discipline your children – what worked best?

Sally:  My husband, Clay, wrote a book Heartfelt Discipline, which is a different take at the Proverbs passages about the rod. We knew that our goal was to reach and stir our children”s hearts for the Lord. Consequently, our discipline focussed on their hearts, not on their behavior. We looked for attitudes. We trained their wills to desire to do the right things. We knew that the basis of any influential relationship between leaders and followers was based on building a foundation of strong relationship, as observed in the life of Christ with His disciples. So we spent lots and lots of time building a close relationship with our children and then spent lots of time training them and giving them chores, responsibility and training. (Clay wrote the Discipleship tool, The 24 Family Ways, so our children would have the language of Biblical values and so that they would clearly know what we wanted them to do–in life and in relationships.) We also have built in a strong self-vision of “God has created you for good works–He has a special plan for your life. We need to train you in mind, spirit, emotions, faith, body and heart so that you can be prepared to accomplish His purpose for you–that is why we train you to excellence.”  So much more, but that is it in a nutshell.

SM:  What are some “tools” in your tool kit of parenting that have worked for you?

Sally:  I actually recently wrote a blog post about this at itakejoy.com called the Mystery of Discipline. Basically, we have to be wise stewards of our children’s lives and personalities. We need to fill their emotional cups, challenge them by giving them lots of input and intentional, meaningful activity, give them a restful, peaceful environment, love and touch them a lot, meet their basic needs so that they will be more able to respond to our training and instruction. I used lots of encouragement and words of life–”I love you,” “you make me laugh!” “You are so much fun.” “I am so very thankful the Lord chose me to be your mom!”

Many parents neglect their children without meaning to and so their children are difficult to train. Many children are exhausted, over-stimulated and have high levels of sugar and adrenalin in their blood streams and are not even able to respond to their parents. Training and discipline is a long term process and the maturity, sex and personality of the child must be taken into consideration. Lots of time invested meant my children were usually quite responsive to my training–it is still that way. I keep in constant contact with my older children even when they are far from home. Discipline is a moment by moment teaching, correction, will training, affirming, modeling relationship. Not a quick fix based on tricks. But  I did learn, though, that when my children’s emotional cups were full, they were much more teachable. Spend individual time with them even when you think it is impossible.

SM:  What would you do over if you could?

Sally:  I would have been more patient and trusted the Lord more. I would have given up my own agenda about what I thought life should be so that I could just rest every day with where my children were–to enjoy them, to trust the Lord, to not be neurotic! I would have decided to celebrate life more and not stress over the little things or messes–these things are just a part of the seasons of life. I would have let my boys be boys and understood them more–and laughed with them more. However, most of my life, I would do much the same. I really enjoyed my children so much. I would have also just given myself more grace when the dark times came and I felt overwhelmed–also a normal part of life with the constant exhaustion and work and issues in life–knowing that dark times and exhaustion ebbs and flows. Sabbath rests are so important. Beauty and keeping a mom’s cup full is also so important–wish I had understood that earlier and managed my needs more wisely.

Continued tomorrow…

Sally Clarkson…She who dreams, laughs, and greatly loves her husband, her children and the God who made them all. She lives for strong English tea out of a china cup, passionate ideas, great books, and fine food served with stimulating conversation.  Find Sally at her blog, I Take Joy, or through one of her many wonderful books.

Subscribe here to not miss a day!

Read more Lady of Wisdom interviews here.

June Fuentes is the author of the blog A Wise Woman Builds Her Home. She is happily married to Steve and is joyfully raising eight special blessings. Here are her words of wisdom:

Sarah: Why did you choose to be a stay-at-home mom?

June: Because it is one of the greatest and highest callings of a woman to stay home and raise the next generation who will change the world for Jesus Christ.

Sarah: What kinds of kinds of things did you do to train your children in the Lord?

June: We try to keep the Word central in our home, prayer and Christian character training are very important. We try to be consistent in our training–this is a very important key, but must be done hand-in-hand with love, shepherding and discipling. We made mistakes along the way—no one is perfect in their parenting—but it is important to not give up and to ask for forgiveness when we do fail (and we will)–I always like to point to Jesus because this shows how much I need Him–not just for my children sake but also for myself. Also, we must never underestimate the power of our own daily example—it speaks and teaches volumes. I also think that it is important to challenge them to be ‘world-changers’ for Christ. They can help change the world–even at a young age–we just need to raise the bar in regards to expectations.(Note: I must emphasize that anything good you might see in my children is a work of God and not us. I am still learning as a mother–but grateful the Lord always continues to gently guide us.)

Sarah: How did you discipline your children – what worked best?

June: We believe in shepherding and disciplining our children according to the Word of God. With eight children you quickly find that what might work with one child might not work with the other. That goes also for each incident. One event might need grace while another might need a more severe punishment. One might need just a verbal warning and the other much more. Everything needs evaluation, each child is unique—I ask God everyday to give us wisdom so we might be a good judges regarding this topic. So I don’t think one ‘method’ worked best for us–except the method of God’s Word, consistency and love (I Corinthians 13).

Sarah: What are some “tools” in your tool kit of parenting that have worked for you?

June: My most important tools are:

1. Jesus

2. His Word

3. Prayer

I do recommend the book “Biblical Parenting” by Don Gilchrist for those who need help in the practical application parenting. I have learned a lot from people like SM Davis, Nancy Campbell, Vision Forum, No Greater Joy, The Maxwell Family, Lydia Sherman, Ladies Against Feminism, JR Miller, etc.

Sarah: What would you do over if you could?

June: If I could go back and get saved at an earlier age and live my life for Christ—then perhaps the struggle to live the Christian life would not be so challenging in my older years.

Sarah: Did you have family worship/devotion time? If so, how did you do this?

June: Yes, we have them. and they have taken on all kinds of forms. But basically we like to sit around the living room with our Bibles with Dad teaching and children asking lots of questions. Many times we’ll include a worship time beforehand. The babies are allowed to play quietly if not we lay them down for naps. We have used coloring sheets in the past that synchronize with the passage or worksheets. Once we even held it in a park and sang by a creek, with dad teaching us at a picnic table. That was a beautiful memory– the little ones just loved it and so did we! Occasionally, our children would also love to act out various Bible stories and/or dad would act parts out. Personally, I always liked when he started off the study with a very challenging question. Oftentimes my son, Stephen, who is 8, will get his pulpit out that Dad made and preach to us after Dad is done. We like to interrogate him with a doctrinal Q & A time afterwards—he loves it.

Sarah: Any advice for stay-at-home moms who feel like theyʼve lost themselves as women?(“I feel like Iʼ’m only a mom” etc.)

June: Yes, control your thought life!!!! Satan would love to have you wrapped up in a pity party to incapacitate you. Don’t abandon your posts—know who you are in Christ Jesus and know how greatly your role as a mom affects the course of history of generations you might never see. Remember, we are not just ‘moms’ but we are world-changers. For more inspiration, check out my blog A Wise Women Builds Her Home, Above Rubies Magazine and Ladies Against Feminism.

Sarah: How did you make time for your husband when you were exhausted with little ones?

June: It wasn’t always easy but we would try to connect when he came home from work for 15-30 minutes. I would try to rest up before he came so I might be fresh when he arrived. I would also try to eagerly anticipate his arrival to create a nice welcoming when he came home. You definitely have to be purposeful. Having a date night is great, but not always feasible, then we would just rely on putting the children to sleep earlier so we could spend the extra time together. Some days we would just have long conversations on the phone if he was away, but we always tried to connect with each other.

Sarah: What is the greatest thing youʼve learned in how to be a good wife?

June: Just try to be his best helpmeet—find out what he would like from you instead of what the world wants you to be. Find out what he likes to eat, how he likes the house, what he likes you to wear. Some husbands don’t care if the house is immaculate but they do care if there is not a hot meal waiting for them when they get home. Also ask him in the morning- “Is there anything you need me to do today?” and then put that first on your list–after your Bible devotionals, of course. Even if that means pushing aside your ever- urgent ‘to do’ list. And lastly, I should have probably put this first—RESPECT. Be sure to love him by respecting him. I also highly recommend the book “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace.

Sarah: What is your favorite “cheap” date?

June: Hmmm….probably hanging out in the bookstore and having coffee—there we can sit quietly and talk about our favorite subject–church planting. I simply enjoy his company and just enjoy being with him anywhere. He is a fun person to be around and has a great sense of humor.

Sarah: If you could only pass on one piece of wisdom for young wives and moms, what would it be?

June: Trust in God no matter what.

Sarah: Thank you so much for your time! I pray that your words of wisdom will encourage us and penetrate us so that we will learn and grow as godly women.

Read more “Lady of Wisdom” interviews here.