Archive for the ‘Integrity’ Category

A Protected Space

July 25th, 2011

Cupped Hands around the world statue

“We need women who will do the work now with their families so they have something to say {to teach} later.” -Sally Clarkson

Things are getting interesting and it’s forcing me to make decisions that match the truth engraved on my heart.

As life swells and expands I have to keep choosing to protect my family, to protect the space where we breathe in life together. I have to stay focused; I must stay intentional; I want to keep integrity with my family. I know the Lord has crafted my soul to share a message with women, and I trust it and go with it as I learn the rhythm of dancing to His glory in this faulty skin. But we’re working it out, because His spirit resides in me and I can’t just go the way my selfish self would lead. No, He leads, I follow, and it’s a thrilling dance between my Father and me, as He’s teaching me humility and patience and character. I’m a little slow, but that’s okay because He’s kind and forbearing, gentle, and so gracious I can hardly stand it. His gifts are good, and although a slithering in my ear tells me the good can only last so long, the truth is that His goodness never ends. I don’t know yet the shape the expanding will take, but I know that as it forms, He’s forming me, and He isn’t letting go. He doesn’t let me forget. My family is my first ministry – the people I love and serve and give my “first fruits” to. They need me, and they need me to be intentional and have integrity. They need my mind. They need my time.

So here I am thinking about the thrill of publishers interested in me as an author, and a conference that I’m desperately trying to keep my hands open to His leading, and a blog that has seriously morphed into something much different than when it began. And I fight to keep life small and my family protected.

I fight to stay a woman of integrity.

I won’t give up.

___

Photo Credit: Cupped hands around the world statue

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Gossip & Slander

June 30th, 2011

Pillow Fight Club! Flash Mob

There was a woman who was a gossip. After realizing that she had slandered someone,  she went to her pastor and asked how she could fix the situation. The pastor said to her, “Get a pillow case and fill it with feathers.”

So the woman went away and got a pillow case and stuffed it with feathers.

She went back to her pastor and showed him the pillow case full of feathers and said, “Now what do I do?”

“Go to a rooftop and shake the feathers out.” The pastor said.

“Yes, and then what?” Said the woman, waiting eagerly.

“After you do that, go and find every feather and put it back in the pillow case.” The pastor said matter-of-factly.

But pastor,” the woman said with astonishment, “that is impossible. There’s no way I can possibly find all those feathers. The wind will have blown them everywhere!

The pastor looked at the woman and said,

That is gossip.”


___

Story heard in the movie Doubt.

Photo Credit: Pillow Fight

Comments

May 23rd, 2011

Retro / Vintage / Orange / Clock

Friends, I’ve got to tell you that my time management skills are seriously lacking. And I’m not all that disciplined either.  Therefore, in order to make sure that I keep integrity with my family and the upkeep of my home, I need to make a few changes…one being turning off the comments here. I LOVE the community here, but I am too sucked into checking to see if I have new comments.

Kind of lame, I know.

I hope that you understand.

One more thing…I realize that many of you like the community as well, which is why making the decision to turn off the comments is so hard. Maybe one day I’ll re-activate them, but for now I’ve just got to get my priorities straight. I pray your grace.

___

Photo Credit: Retro/Vintage Clock

Giving Up Money

March 22nd, 2011

We don’t have a ton of money.

My husband is a maintenance man (and a darn good one!), and I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mama. We live pretty tight. We always have what we need, but  the extras are always something we have to wait for. I’m telling you this because it makes the desire to have more money very tempting, so tempting that it would be easy to put my home life under stress in order to get it. Today I had to turn down a job I really wanted and could have done from home because I knew that I just couldn’t do it without my family and my home suffering. Do you know how hard it is to turn down money? Especially when you want to buy books for your kiddos, or a new shirt, or a laptop battery, or a more realistic grocery budget, or go out to dinner with your husband, or pay off your school loans, or visit your pregnant sister when she has a baby, or get that extra homeschool kit, or be able to help someone else who needs money. It’s hard. And it doesn’t help that I’m selfish.

The thing is, I know me, and I know that the more I take on the more my family suffers. The more jobs I take, the more I don’t plan fun things for kiddos, or keep up with cleaning, or spending time with my husband (in fact, I start becoming more demanding of him). I know there is nothing wrong with bringing in money to help my family, but what I do think is detrimental is taking on more at the expense of them.

I realize some women can go go go and stay on top of everything and work and plan and roll around with kiddos on the floor, and be happy wives (seriously, who are you and what drugs are you taking because I want some), but…

I am not that woman.

And that’s okay. I have to know what I am capable of and what I can handle. In my world, something always suffers if I’m pulled in different directions.

Giving up money is hard, but giving up my family would be much harder.

I know there are days I will fail at keeping my priorities in order, but with the grace of my God, I’m going to keep my family.

___

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On Internet Addiction & Doing Too Much

February 14th, 2011

There is a lie that goes like this: “I can have my cake and eat it too.” -Kelly Bradrick

I don’t have to reach deep to know the truth about computer addiction.

But I do have to open up vulnerable places to share that truth with you.

For some, being addicted to the internet is fine, but for me it is not okay. I have three eternal souls in my care that were sewed up in my womb and are my responsibility in this feeble world. Something always gives when we give ourselves to to many things; I can’t give up my children.

For me, right now, this means dropping the consulting, the shop, possibly Raising Homemakers, and any other big ideas I have rolling around in my head (of which I have plenty-I’m a visionary). My focus in this online space?

My blog (because writing is something good for me…as Ann says, “it’s healing. I also enjoy the community…YOU)

Relevant (God is using me here now, so I’m walking it out one year at a time)

(In)courage (I have found (in) to be a safe place to write from my wounds…it’s another healing place)

My eBook (which will be finished this month)

I’m asking God to help me set boundaries and keep my focus on my priorities. I’m praying that God will keep my heart towards my family and keep me from going the way of the culture.

I want to be fully present with my life…I want my babes to be fully present with theirs.

I’d like to make it to heaven without regrets when it comes to being intentional. Not perfect (of course I will fail), but intentional.

I share these things with you because I consider you friends. I also want to be honest with you because so many women are addicted to their computers and don’t know how to deal with it, let alone admit it. They feel stuck, or confused, or they ignore it (but know it’s there). I just want to say, you’re not alone.

There is no dark corner that God can’t bring light to.

Whatever your struggle or addiction in the online world or off, don’t give up on hope.

Reach for the fringe in faith.


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    I'm Sarah Mae. I'm figuring out how to fit perfect into fallen skin. Stick around for the stretching...your soul is welcome here.

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