Loving a Wild One

You have a wild one, a wild child you feel is out of control.

You’re at your wits about what to do. You don’t want her to become a wild out-of-control teenager, but discipline is not working, in fact, she laughs in the face of discipline. Oh friends, how I understand! I have a nearly 3 -year-old little spit-fire, beautiful, crazy girl, who I love desperately, but who drives me mad sometimes. Mad. As in crazy coo-coo. Just send me to the place with the white walls ’cause mama has lost it.

I mean, what do you do with a child like that? Well, I’ll tell you what I’m learning.

Read the rest at (in)courage today.

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9 Coffee Talks on “Loving a Wild One”

  1. Barbara says:

    Today's post is an eye-opener for me, a grandmother, and has answered questions I've had for many years. I know your message to be true as I look at people I know well and how they have related to their world. I wish I had learned long ago how to love people into improved behavior. But I know now and am changed for the good for having read this post (as well as the links within it that you provided). Thank you!

  2. Randi says:

    Sarah Mae, do you have any advice for when my Squirt throws tantrums (like throwing himself on the floor, hitting himself – or me -, or when he goes stiff as a board when I pick him up). I'm just having a tough time with him.

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Randi, I'm still figuring it out, but one thing I do is tell Care that her behavior is unacceptable and she has to go to her room until she can be civilized. :) I usually take her in her room, put her on the floor, and shut the door. A few minutes later she usually comes out and says she's sorry.

      Trial and error is probably what you're going to have to do with your son, figure out what works for him-try different things. It's tough, I'll pray for you.

  3. Melissa D says:

    I have one of those! My middle child. She woke up every hour for 3 years straight until we started giving her a small dose of liquid melatonin to help her wind down enough to fall asleep. She threw screaming tantrums that took up 4-5 hours of my day. (My babysitter asked me if I should call a priest, maybe…ha). She was so utterly strongwilled that I was on my knees, constantly praying to see past the will, past the tantrums, to the person inside. I realized a few things: spanking does not work for her. A short timeout helps. She needs lots and lots of physical touch (her love language, I think) — so I make sure to pat her head or hug her or give her a little squeeze every time I walk by. And all of my kids need a brief "alone time" each day of around 20-30 mins just to recharge. She can still be a handful, but at least she's no longer the Tornado around which our home was revolving. And her behavior has improved so much. She's such a dear little thing now that she is getting more sleep, more hugs and is learning to pay attention to her need to withdraw to recharge.

    My other 2 kids are such docile, textbook babies that it would be easy for me to be super proud of my handiwork (not) when looking at them and their behavior. I now know that we plant and water, but God causes to grow — and that if we pray for more love, more grace, more ability to bear up, He always answers it with more of Himself.

  4. Kristy says:

    Sarah, I read your post over at InCourage and loved it! Needed this.

    We have a "wild one", only ours is 8 yrs old. I did not know "then" what I know now; I've corrected my ways with our 3 younger children, but am having to un-do some of the parenting boo's boo's from my early mothering years. Wish I would have been more gentle and patient "back then".

    Thank God for grace! And for wise words from mamas who walk in our shoes.

    Bless you!

  5. Jeane` says:

    Yes! (to the do you have?)
    Yes! (she is three)
    Yes! (she is third born…or did you not disclose that?)
    Yes! (she is "three children in one"…actually, I don't know that I read that up there, either).
    Yes! (she has brilliantly brought forth every white, wirey hair I have plucked from my head)
    Yes! (Spankings, time in a chair, time in a room, anything remotely resembling discipline is as effective as duct tape on petroleum jelly)
    Yes! (She is what has made me bearable to be around. I am the mom who knows she knows very little about parenting).
    Yes! (I will click your happy little link and see if you've got anything new for me.)

  6. Jeane` says:

    I just read your words.
    They were true, true, true.
    My husband does such a great job with our little hurricane. I am learning from him how to handle her, and love her, much better than I have. It is with that same affirmation that you wrote of…of letting her see that we see the good in her, and bestow hundreds of hugs and kisses, which she clearly soaks up! Thank you for sharing!!

  7. KristineMac says:

    I don't know if I could say my youngest child was a wild one as she was growing up, but she definitely was a strong willed one. Love and patience are always the best way to to for sure. My daughter has grown into a lovely young woman (as wild ones do). Great post. :)

  8. tonya says:

    This is a late comment, but I've been potty-training my "wild one" this week & can't find 2 seconds to comment! Better late than never, right? Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I read this post Friday evening, I think, & started implementing some of the suggestions the next morning (yes, we start the day off WILD – why waste a minute??). It was helpful so thank you for your advice. While potty-training the last few days we've had less behavior issues because he is getting so much attention & affirmation (interesting, huh?), but today he hit his brother & I asked him (assuming he'd forgotten) what his hands were for. He said, "loving" (with the "v" sounding like a "w" 'cause he's 2). So sweet. Thanks again! :o)

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    I'm Sarah Mae. I'm figuring out how to fit perfect into fallen skin. Stick around for the stretching...your soul is welcome here.

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