At what point to we choose to say, “this is my life, and insomuch as I can control, I’m going to carve out a life of my choosing”?
I realize how absurd this statement will be for people. Some will think, “this is selfish, God is in control, you choose nothing.” Another group will think, “of course you can and should choose how you will live your life. God gave it to you.”
I’m in the camp, currently, that thinks there is some truth in a life of our choosing. While we can’t control certain circumstances or outcomes in this life (God is, actually, in control), we can navigate our everyday choices to bring us a life that is fulfilled and has meaning. And I think we should. All too often I dream of the ideals I have regarding homeschooling, homemaking, raising kiddos, being an intentional wife, writing, etc, but I quickly dismiss them as being something I will never live up to. I drown them, and when I do this, I am choosing to forgo a life that could be had with some discipline. Yes, I’m tired, and yes, life with little ones is depleting most days, so much so that the thought of doing anything else in life (or in my home, for that matter) is almost laughable. But here’s the rub: I can choose pieces of my life in which to puzzle together, even if I can’t design the shape of the pieces.
I can’t control that my two-year old is a wild woman (I am working on civilizing her!). I can control whether or not I take the time to enjoy her and steer her unfettered spirit towards the things of God.
I can’t control that I’m achingly tired at the end of the day, but I can choose to close my computer and spend intentional time with my husband before diving into dreamland.
I can’t control the blips in a homeschool day (does anything go as planned?!), but I can continue to plan out our days so that my children and I have a consistent flow.
I can’t control whether or not I will become a published author (with a traditional publishing house), but I can use my words where they are to (hopefully) bring a message of hope to women.
I can’t control the fact that I can’t afford a maid and a mother’s helper consistently, but I can choose to utilize my time in more effective ways (again with the computer…).
Are you picking up what I’m putting down? I don’t believe in lifestyle design, but I do believe in being mature enough to choose the little things that make the unique puzzle of your life something worth working on…something that will one day be framed in the memories of your children’s minds. As opposed to just “maintaining” your life (which, let’s be honest, some days are).
I think our lives glorify God when we take an active, submissive role in the life He gives us. He envelopes us, but we swim in the fullness of this life.
And as Dory says, I’m going to “just keep swimming…”
Photo Credit: Mountain View Pool Water