Giving Up So We Don’t Fail

In the shower

One more push of the snooze button and I’ll get up. I made a promise to my husband that the first thing I would do in the morning is shower because I hadn’t for three days.

6am and I pull my bones out of bed and tip toe around wood-floor creaks, slowly easing my way towards the bathroom. I never use my husbands shower, but since it’s downstairs and I’m desperate not to wake the little ones I use it. “Which way do I turn the faucet so it gets hot?” I complain to myself. Cold, cold, and no C or H. Finally the water heats up and I allow myself to relax (even though I know at any moment my four year old son could come groggily in looking for cuddles – he’s the early bird in our family). I think to myself, “why don’t I shower more? I know I’m tired, and my time is so limited to myself, but seriously, this is bad.” Then I remember why I stopped “scheduling” showers.

I always fail.

As I stood under warm wet drops, I realized that I had given up on so much more than showering, I had given up on pursuing my ideals. I had given up even trying.

Life got hard and long and mundane, and every failure led to depletion in my spirit. Somewhere along the line of seven years with husband and babies and dishes and laundry I unknowingly gave up. I’d been believing the enemy, the liar of the generations, that whispers, “you will never change.”

How foolish that I’ve believed the defeated one instead of the risen One!

I know I will fail – I’ve got a swarm of sin-bacteria buzzing through my spirit – but I have someone to stand in the gap when I do. I have someone changing me from the inside out. I’ve got a new heart and a pure spirit under this skin eating away that sin-bacteria. I have God in me.

“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekial 36:26, ESV

If you are like me and you feel weary and worn and like giving up most days, will you choose with me today to keep going? To not give up, no matter how many times you (we) fall? To push through the lies and grasp for the truth (even in the dark)?

Jesus has got our back. We’ve already won.

Let’s do this.

“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” Galatians 6:9, NASB

“…it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace.” Hebrews 13:9, ESV

“With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don’t hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort..” 1 Corinthians 15:58, MSG

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Photo Credit: In the Shower

46 Coffee Talks on “Giving Up So We Don’t Fail”

  1. Jessica says:

    I don't schedule it, but if I don't shower every day, I feel like the biggest loser ever. Because I'm not one of those people who doesn't need to wash their hair but every 7 days. I'm oily! Lol.

    As for the rest of this … where's the "relate" button when you need it?

  2. Christin says:

    Oh yes. Totally relate. And I'm with Jessica. My hair is oily!

  3. Renee says:

    Dear Sarah Mae,

    This is another one of those post that you read and you say to yourself, "been there too, I understand" how many time I failed, how many time I haven't bordered because of believing the lie of "your going to fail anyways, why even try"

    I'll blame it on procrastination, or being a perfectionist or other thing then the truth, *I* believe lies instead I should seek the Truth, God work are more powerful then lies!

  4. Ashlie says:

    I love this! As a mom of little ones, I can identify totally and the Lord has really been working on my heart concerning this area. He is so gracious. Thank you for your encouraging words…and for getting up early to post ;)

  5. Jacqui says:

    Wow.
    How on earth did you get inside my head? I could've written this word for word. My spirit is depleted, that I have tears in my eyes thinking of how I ever got to this place, and how I will ever get out of this pit.

    Yes. I will choose to keep going.

  6. Debbie says:

    This is a timely word from God for me today. Thank you so much!!!

  7. Rikki says:

    Wow, God, is really trying to get this inner transformation thing across to me. Thank you.

  8. Cassandra says:

    Amen, what a beautiful post. So encouraging to start my day with! Let us press on and hold fast to our knowledge that GOD LOVES US!
    The Unplugged Mom http://www.unplugyourfamily.blogspot.com

  9. Jessica says:

    I think there's a difference between failing and realizing we can't do it all. Friday I had a huge to-do list of things I wanted to get done while home. But when my hubby didnt recover from surgery as well as we thought, when my kids were out of control, when I was tired and cranky before the day started…. I KNEW those things were not going to get done. I KNEW I was going to fail if I kept the ideas in my head that I was going to get everything done. So I reorganized my thoughts….. I changed my mindset to know realize that it was ok that it wasn't going to get done. Took a lot of pressure off myself that I wasn't living up to unattainable goals………… I think.

  10. Julie Anne says:

    Oh my word… I am soooo afraid of failure!! Right now I have 2 chickens in my garage that were given to me and I am freaking out on actually taking care of them!! Also really want to have a garden this year, but am afraid of all the "work" involved!!

    and that doesn't even begin to touch the issues I have with parenting, housekeeping and being a wife!!
    Thank you!!

  11. Cissie says:

    I was stuck in this rut a for a couple of years, and I see myself slowly pulling myself out. But I am still afraid of FAILURE and it holds me back everyday. I finally made a list of things that I wanted to accomplish and posted it on my BLOG. That way it is out there and you can't back down from it!

  12. Christy says:

    Thank you for that. I can totally relate.

  13. Angie S says:

    Thanks for sharing your "no shower" thoughts with this "no shower girl" … you encouraged me with your words! Thank you! PS — started 31 days to clean…loving it!

  14. HeirtoBlair says:

    I needed this today. Thank you, sweet friend.

  15. Kim says:

    It's amazing to come across your post when I and apparently so many others feel this way! Why do we always feel like we are alone? I've been struggling with a 'so so marraige', a disabled child, a normal healthy child, a live in mother in law who is failing quickly to Alzhemers, unemployment due to a car accident…on & on & on! I've been working on putting more faith in Christ and trusting his plan for me- even though I don't like it right now!
    I've for so long listened to that horrid voice that tells you to just give up, you'll fail, you're not good enough. You don't have what those other people have! Time & time again I've succumbed to it, with a little bump in the road I shut down! No more!
    Thanks for this post! Just in time…I think I'll go jump in the shower now as well!
    Kim @<a>tiarasandbowties.blogspot.com

  16. I have only been caught in this cycle when I lost my apartment and had to move back home with my parents.

    Other than that as a single mom once the tricky times of my daughters infancy were over my shower times were my own. I have had odd jobs and had to get up and moving. Life just gets yucky and I need refreshed.

    Mostly I wake up feisty ready to take on my day! Good thing since there is no one around to encourage and motivate me. This doesn't mean I shower daily. hahahaha Monday to kick off my spring vacation week I slept, blogged and ate on the couch all day only going up stairs for a few moments a couple of times.

    My youthful girly side leads and I hope that persists till I die.

  17. thebettermom says:

    I love this post! It speaks to my heart (especially the showering ;) ). Time and time again I realize the true reason for my weariness is because I am not depending on God enough and not walking in step with the Spirit.
    Thank you!

  18. Mary says:

    Thank you for posting as I too feel as though I have given up > I will move along right with you today with God inside us .

  19. Karen says:

    I so appreciate your honesty,because so many of us women can relate to that! I find sometimes that we like to mask the fact that we are failing humans (though others have more motivation and discipline than others). We like other women to look at us and say "Wow, that woman is so spiritual, and great Prov. 31 Woman!"
    But we don't need that! we need ppl to say and to live it out that we are nothing without Jesus!
    I was talking to my best girlfriend and we were observing that we women like to compare ourselves among ourselves. we primp ourself only to admit to ourself that it isso we will feel good about ourselves among other ladies. is that just our problem or is that everywhere else too?

    anyway thanks for your honesty!

  20. Stephanie says:

    I think when you are a visionary this can be very difficult. I consider myself a visionary and when my plans for the day or my ideas never come to fruition, then I feel like I failed. I pour out so much throughout the day that there is nothing left sometimes. Why shower, someone will spit up on me or I have to clean the toilet today so why bother taking a shower? There is, or seemes to be something in the way. Life is a constant interuptions and task seem to never get finished. I havn't taken a shower, let alone used the restroom without a knock on the door for about three years. Do I get frustrated or just expect it to happen? I think this is what being sanctified is about.

  21. Rebekah says:

    Thank you for challenging me this morning — can relate Oh so much!

  22. Stefani says:

    I just came across your blog from Blogging with Amy and I love it so far! I have a friend who has been struggling with fealing like a failure and disappointing those she loves. I can't wait to send her the link and encourage her.

  23. Sandy says:

    "How foolish that I’ve believed the defeated one instead of the risen One!" …This really hit home for me. I do it way to often to be able to stand in any type of Victory. I am always holding on to the promise "If you won't quit, He won't quit, but let me tell you, where is the vistory in that? Thanks for the great truth you shared with us all!

  24. Dawn Phenix says:

    Wow, Sarah Mae, that was so good. I can totally relate. Hang on girl :)

  25. Alana says:

    So needed this today. I am giving up to avoid failing in so many areas of my life! Thanks Sarah Mae.

  26. arabah says:

    Awesome. I'm in.

  27. Traci says:

    needed this today too! Thanks Sara Mae!

  28. Joanie says:

    I just stumbled on your blog from Blogging with Amy and this post was just what I needed. In fact, I just wrote about how depressed I am right now in the blog I write for WhatToExpect.com. Thanks so much for the encouraging words!

  29. Jamie says:

    Wow. So timely. So perfect. So encouraging. Thank you!

  30. Amber says:

    Thank you for this. It was a blessing to me today.

  31. Oh my dear you're talking to me!! –>>> http://www.welcometolove.net/2011/04/fasting-fail…
    This year, the past 6 months…(more!) have been all about learning to be weak, learning to fail…

    Sometimes its all I can do I just cling to the "truth" (which feels much more like a fragile wish) that He's refining me and I AM being made new—because it doesn't feel that way!

    I love that we're all in this together, I love lifting my head and realizing that this process, this refinement is so much bigger than me, that there are beautiful women like you, the 30 ladies ^up there, and many more who a learning to fail along with me.

    Thank you for sharing! (((HUG)))
    Sarah Elizabeth

  32. Rachel says:

    Oh I'm crying here – because you have hit me straight through my heart. This is where I am living. I am feeling so defeated and about to give up. My husband is a rock and I know he is God-sent. He continues to urge me on and encourage me.

    Sarah Mae, thank you for this very timely post that encouraged me so much today.

  33. Kayla says:

    This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you!

  34. @monicalocke says:

    Can I say THANK YOU! I thought I was the only one who would go days without a shower:) My sweet homeschooling friend and I sat on my couch last night sharing coffee and our struggles of homeschooling our children. I am 5 years into it….and yes, I needed that posts..and so did my sweet friend who introduced me to you. God continues to teach me….never give up…never!

  35. Julie Rothacher says:

    Sarah Mae, you are crack'n me up! I LOVE that you don't shower daily. It's prolly bad but I told my husband in hopes that he would appreciate my showering daily (well…10 out of 14). hehe
    I question daily if it's the best use of my time That day.
    Some days it is- pleasing my husband, being a positive 1st impression of Jesus with skin on, etc.
    Some days it's not- more quality time with kids, helping my husband with his work, grocery shopping in my tiny window of time as well as hit my babes nap times.
    I am always amazed at what you (and other moms) blog about accomplishing. I desire to allow God to let me accomplish More of His will during my allotted time. It's the same 24 hours you've been given. Trying not to compare but also allowing myself to be challenged.
    God is my creator and refiner!

  36. janene says:

    I finished reading and the words that popped into my mind. . ."HE"S GOT THIS!!!"
    Relieved: )

  37. Janet says:

    Thank you for your courage and your open heart. I relate so much to what you wrote here. Thank you for the reminder.

    Janet

  38. Nicole says:

    This post resonated so much with me. I spend most of my time making lists and creating schedules only to fail… miserably. Really miserably. :l Thank you for this post and for the encouragement! =)

    Oh, and it was nice to hear I am not the only Mommy that "accidentally" skips showers.

  39. brenda says:

    WOW. God has not forgotten me! This spoke to me so much. It totally encourages me to hear God through simple things like this. Sometimes I get so lost in my day. I'm so ashamed that I've been listening to the defeated one, over the victorious. Mortified. Praise God for His grace! I do indeed feel strenghtened! AMAZING. Thanks so much.

  40. Noelle says:

    Thank You!!! Being a mom, wife can get so hard! I am always trying to do it all? I needed this right now tonight! God Bless!!

  41. Tanya ♥ says:

    This is just exactly what I am feeling right now… thank you for your honesty and for your encouragement – your blog always makes me smile – even if it's in irony like today!! Praying God will continue to bless you as you continue to help us!

    PS – got the ebook and really excited to start the challenge on Sunday!

  42. Michelle says:

    You are so brave Sarah and such an encouragement!

    I decided to give up those showers all together-(I mean during the day, that is) and just shower at night so I can be fresh for my hubby instead of ripe:)

  43. This pierced straight through me when I read it – I am weaning my youngest right now and my hormones are all over the place – I have been ugly to those I love most and have been neglecting my beautiful Savior and even when I do make time to read His word I do it with a struggling heart feeling like I have so many other things to accomplish… how can I justify sitting here just reading – Ha – the lies our accuser would have us believe – and how broken and worn down I feel when I listen to Satan's lies… I will never change – why try… LIES! Thank you for your refreshing post! Let us all continue to "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

  44. Tiffany says:

    Thank you for this. What a blessing and encouragement for my heart. I have not been able to be here very often lately, because we finally brought our son home from Ethiopia! Thank you again for your part in our journey. I am forever grateful!

  45. Heathahlee says:

    I love you. That is all. :' )

  46. Wow Sarah, good writing. Your writing seems to have changed since the last time I visited {it's been a while}. I sure can relate to what you write here.

    Appreciate you touching on the subjects that we {women} deal with.

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    I'm Sarah Mae. I'm figuring out how to fit perfect into fallen skin. Stick around for the stretching...your soul is welcome here.

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