There are days I’d love to be on the road

Road

Photo Credit: Road

I read this today.

And I felt a pang of envy.

Being a stay-at-home mom is something that runs too deep for me to ever give up, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s hard. I want to do my own thing, write all day, meet fascinating people in the world over real coffee, etc. My life (that I love and am grateful for) is a sacrifice to Jesus. I don’t say that because I think I’m better than someone else who works, I say it because I’d love to be “doing” out “there” but my calling is here in my home with my babes.

I love being a wife and a mother, but some days…

I just want to be on the road.

Still learning how to be fully surrendered in my heart.

34 Coffee Talks on “There are days I’d love to be on the road”

  1. Jessica says:

    I totally get what you're saying. Isn't it funny though, if we did work outside the home we'd probably be coveting stay at home moms!

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Jessica, I'm SURE of it! When my husband and I go on a date, I miss them by the end of it. I'm actually pretty lame. :)

      • Kendal says:

        Oh Sara Mae, I am just as "lame"!! I long for a night out and then while I am out, I miss being home terribly! Sadly, when my husband and I are out on a date, what do you think we talk about….sad! Shame on us!

      • Christin says:

        I am just as lame as well! Ha ha!! But I get what you're saying, Sarah Mae. Especially about wanting to write all day!! Problem is, if I don't live, I don't have much to write about. I don't give God much room to work if I'm not moving around in His will, ya know?

        In order for me to share my story, I have to first live it. ((Hugs))

  2. Monica says:

    I can totally relate. I have to remind myself that this is where I've been called to minister. Some days, though, the craving to be out doing more…is overwhelming. Thank you for the reminder that this is a daily surrender of self.

  3. I'm encouraging a friend who has just laid down her life for her kids and won't be returning to teach next year so that she can stay home. She emailed me in a panic last night and said "Help! I'm having a freak out moment thinking I'll never be good at anything ever again! Did you ever have one of those??" I replied "yes, I have one every day! ;)"

    This quote from the lovely Sally Clarkson that I just read today sums it up for me I think,

    ""I had had so many moments when I doubted that anything was being built into the hearts of my children, when my belief that all of this mattered for eternity was all that kept me going, one step at a time." (Mission of Motherhood)

    Holding on to the hope that all of this matters for eternity :)

  4. Kristi says:

    I hear ya! Spring Break is next week and I'm *dying* to go somewhere. I don't care much where. It can be to the Holiday Inn 30 miles down the road. Just need to get out into some open spaces! And while I have no longing for an outside workplace *whatsoever*, I do long to do 'my own thing'. YES to that surrender, Jesus help me!

  5. Anna says:

    The thing is, that desire to be out and free isn't just unique to stay-at-home moms. I felt far more trapped working in jobs that I disliked, than I do as a stay-at-home mom. So many people work in dead-end, exhausting, unrewarding jobs and would also give anything to "do my own thing, write all day, meet fascinating people in the world over real coffee, etc."

    I liked Jasmine Baucham's recent post on Raising Homemakers, reminding herself that if she's tired and worn-out, she can't blame it on being a stay-at-home daughter or say that she should be in a different possession. I think the same thing goes for being a stay-at-home mom. The grass is always greener… but in reality, if I wasn't staying home, who's to say I would have that enviable, free lifestyle that sounds so perfect?

    • Anna says:

      Possession? I meant profession. Can I blame that on pregnancy brain? lol

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Anna, so very true.

      I think I just need a day off. :)

  6. Anna says:

    Also, I recently read a blog post by a young mom of a litlte 1-year-old boy who desperately wants to stay home with him, but for financial reasons she and her husband have decided it's necessary for her to work right now. I was so sad for her – not because I think daycare is evil or she's a bad mom, but because she clearly wanted so much NOT to leave her baby during the day, and yet felt compelled to. That definitely made me grateful for the opportunity to be the one raising my little son every day.

  7. Tracey says:

    Up until 2 months ago, I was privileged to be at home with my children. I have been here with them for 15 years. However, life threw us a curve ball; my husband is ill and I have had to send my boys to school and go to work. I feel overwhelmingly blessed to have had the time I did with them. If I had realized the time would be short, I could have done so many things differently. They are wonderful people, and I will always be grateful to God for the time at home.

    Don't take it for granted. It may end. Yes, there were hard days, and days when I questioned our choices. It IS hard to be at home with your children. But it is a true blessing to be able to answer your calling to be there with them.

    I pray you learn to fully surrender to your calling, and enjoy every minute of it.

    • Jenn says:

      Tracey, I also want to thank you for your comment. This is one of my worst fears and the reason I daily try to be so thankful. Even when it's long and tiring and exhausting. Sometimes people don't have a choice for financial reasons (paying the mortgage, food,). My husband has a job that can be so busy and so slow and it's scary! Comments like yours help to remind us NEVER to take being able to be at home for granted. I will be praying for you!

  8. Sarah Mae says:

    Tracey, thank you so much for your comment. I always pray and try to live that will never take it for granted, but of course I do sometimes. And most days, I do enjoy it (and love it-especially the mid-day giggle/tickle fests), and like I said, I would never stop doing it as a choice. But yes, there are days that I need to surrender my heart again…and again…and again.

  9. Dionna says:

    Mmm…sometimes I just want to be out on the road too. But I'd take my kiddos with me. :)

  10. Amanda says:

    I think you read my mind today..

  11. Kara says:

    How quickly my heart can turn to discontentment…very much understand…thank you for sharing.
    My prayer–let me keep His joy (in the midst of the mundane)…

  12. Sometimes I too just want to be on the road, or in the air :) My husband and I started having little ones early and have never been out of the USA but I keep remembering and reminding myself that being wife and mother is my calling right now, in this season. Someday that may change. This was very encouraging!

  13. Marleah says:

    I couldn't have said it better myself. Today is particularly challenging because my parents and two sisters, both of whom are finished university but are unmarried and childless, are all heading down to Tennessee to spend March Break in a lovely cabin for a week-long vacation. I long to join them, but can't because it's just not a place take my young kids. I have to remind myself that my children are God's blessing to me, and He has called me to be the best mother to them that I can be, even though sometimes I don't want to be. It's nice to know I'm not alone in my struggle to get my heart in line with His calling. :)

  14. angie says:

    Oh my gosh!!! This is my dream life! Now, how to make that happen?

  15. susaneliz12 says:

    Right there with you! I'm doing what I've always wanted to do… and it's harder than I ever imagined!!
    *Hugs!!*

  16. lea says:

    i know it pulls at you, but be comforted by this:
    in a blink they will be gone, and you will have
    another chance to do all that you long to do.
    an added benefit is that you will, also, be full
    of confidence and wisdom.

  17. Kristin says:

    When I first had kids (12 years ago now) I never understood it when moms would say that they felt like they were loosing themselves or that they wanted to work. I was confident of my call to motherhood and fully embraced it…UNTIL I found something that I absolutely love doing and am so passionate about. Now I almost have to force myself to not look ahead to what I know God will allow me to do in the future. I must keep my heart towards home (she says with less conviction and more trying to convince herself). I am really seeking God for wisdom and for now I really feel like He is teaching me about balance. I can do both. It isn't all or none. I just have to make sure that I am seeking Him on how to balance it all. My own attempts at balancing lean my heart away from home, but God's balance, amazingly, provides for me to be more than enough for both passions. Because I am weak I am finding His perfect strength at work and I am loving the journey!

  18. Kamille says:

    Sarah Mae I feel the same way many times. And for some reason you saying this, here, with your babies is what you're called to do, became an 'aha moment.' Being a mother wasn't the thing I longed to be more than anything when I was younger, but I knew I would have kids and knew I would stay home with them. I would love to be "out there" for all the reasons as you, but wouldn't want to give up on my calling. Thanks for your heart and thanks for being genuine.

  19. Ingrid says:

    Thanks for posting this because it is a good reminder that being content takes effort sometimes. Not sure how old your kids are but they grow FAST! This is a season, an important season, and there will be time for travels, coffee (OK, there is always time for coffee) and remember even though you aren't hitting the road your words are flying all over the world! They just made it all the way to MN! God is using you NOW in a big way!

  20. Sandy says:

    In a world of crazed working moms and jumbled priorities, being a SAHM is a glorious call. Yep, there sure are those moments….but they will come when your kids get older. You are a wise one to cherish this time. I see now the fruit of the Godly foundation we laid in our children…..being a SAHM was time well spent. :)

  21. Sandy says:

    I wonder if it's the sense of wanting to do something "measurably purposeful." Working for Compassion, singing and traveling all are visibly purposeful. Our work as mothers isn't always quite as visible.
    I work and live overseas and actually travel quite a bit. But right now I am staying home to take care of our foster son. It's wonderful to invest in him with the hope that he will find a family. It's also wonderful to be home and available for my daughter and husband. It seems to be the purpose for my life for this time.

  22. Melissa says:

    Also lame! Our home group did a "date night" last week. We left our kids with our normal group babysitters, but instead of having our study time we went out on dates. We ended up picking up our two year old early (our 6 week old was with us)! A few weeks ago I had a few hours of "mommy time" to get my hair done, and I couldn't wait to get home to those babies!

    I feel things like what you wrote about all the time. Yet it seems that every time my heart wanders and thinks it might want something else, God shows me something to reassure me that I am doing the right thing. He grows my love for my home and family more and more.

  23. Leah says:

    Is it possible that you could have a calling "out there", too? Perhaps this desire was placed in your heart for a reason. Sometimes being fully surrendered in heart leads to some surprising places! I just hope that you don't squash your dream even if this particular season of your life isn't the time to realize it! : )

  24. HobokenMommy says:

    Yes, I often wish there was a way to have it all. The adventure of being out in the world travelling and having the loving, joyous fulfillmemt of a family. But if I had to choose – I'd be exactly where I am now – with my adorable sweetie. :D

  25. Tracy Stoffell says:

    I work outside the home, however my hearts desire is to stay at home. I want to be able to write, and to take care of our home, however at this moment that is not an option. I use to think that what I wanted was to have a career, I see now that is not it at all.

  26. Stormie says:

    I found this post today as I'm sitting on the floor in my kids' room waiting for them to FINALLY go to sleep. They've been up since 5am. Grouchy, defiant, almost 3-year old twins. I have been feeling SO overwhelmed as a SAHM lately. Having a child with special needs ups the stress even more. I'm exhausted. I'm stressed out. I'm fed up. I suffer through each day getting whatever I can done. I love my husband and children more than life, but am so desperate for some true "ME" time. Time to write, connect with friends, have an uninterrupted HOT cup of coffee, read a book, etc. I'm frazzled. I KNOW my kids are a gift so my lack of joy in staying home makes me feel guilty. Just this morning I was thinking about how I just want a break. I can't do this. I'm losing my mind. I'm losing my SELF. And then I happened to find your blog as I sit here on the floor waiting for them to sleep. I AM losing myself – for Jesus. It IS s a sacrifice, but I am a sacrifice for Him. It's a paradigm shift I need to make. Thanks for this post.

  27. annie41977 says:

    Thank you for sharing this! I have this thought process too and think that I'm a fraud. I think I'm a fraud because I've said that I wanted to be a sahm since I was in High school. I just knew I didn't want my children away from me once I was blessed with a family.

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    I'm Sarah Mae. I'm figuring out how to fit perfect into fallen skin. Stick around for the stretching...your soul is welcome here.

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