Questions From a Reader – On Love, Relationship, and Pain

How did you learn to love yourself?

Do you have a good relationship with your mom?

How do you stop the pain of never being good enough?

(If you can’t see the video, click here.)

I forgot to say this:

All Jesus asks is that we believe Him, recognize our need for His sacrifice, and be willing to walk faithfully as the new creation that we are in Him (add this in at 2:47). :)

P.S. Tickets for Relevant go on sale TONIGHT! :)

27 Coffee Talks on “Questions From a Reader – On Love, Relationship, and Pain”

  1. Christin says:

    Thanks so much for sharing. Those scriptures really spoke to me. Looking forward to hugging your neck in the fall!!!

  2. Carrie says:

    Me? I just eat more chocolate ;)

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Chocolate. And coffee. :)

  3. susaneliz12 says:

    Wow. That was really an "aha!" moment for me. I don't have to be good enough.. that's not even the point!

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Now walk in that truth! :)

  4. Andrea says:

    I found your blog today from Raising Homemakers, and I seriously read and read and read – about marriage, raising children, and everything else. And I was broken and convicted. I know it was divine intervention that lead me to click on your blog. God used you to encourage me to stop feeling like a failure as a wife and mother and to start fully trusting in Him. I gave it all to Him and committed to TRUST more and I am so grateful that in return He promises peace and strength (Isaiah 26:3-4). Thank you for sharing the things God has laid on your heart.
    I am excited to continue to follow your blog and see what else God will have you share!

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Wow. I am so thankful that God is somehow using me to encourage others…and now you have encouraged me!

  5. arabah says:

    Oh Sarah Mae. THIS is the gospel. You shine, friend. Jesus is here. What glorious truth. Thank you.

  6. Bailey says:

    Sarah Mae – you don't know how you blessed me today. I so needed to hear this.

  7. Nicolette says:

    Dear Sarah Mae,
    I just want to thank you eternally for your transparency and your heart! The Lord knows how much I need to hear this! May God continue to bless you abundantly and in every way.
    Much love,

  8. Christabelle says:

    Thank you so much! I needed to hear this today. I struggle so often with not being "good enough." Your reminder that God loves me blesses me considerably. Thank you!


  9. Beautiful truths . . . if we would just believe them. I believe, help now my unbelief.


  10. Kendal says:

    Thank you for sharing this! I don't have a relationship at all with my mother (or father). Very long story. But I am in constant pursuit of peace with them. It really hit me when you said you had to let go of having "that kind of mom". That spoke to my heart. When and if we do reconcile I think those very words you said will truly help me. Thanks Sarah Mae!

  11. gitz says:

    i love the part you said about your mom… i found that once i stopped concentrating on what i wanted from my parents and accepted that what i always wanted might not be what they were capable of giving, it allowed me the freedom to appreciate what they WERE giving. it's a hard lesson seeing our parents as human beings rather than the image we've created in our minds of what we need them to be.

  12. courtney says:

    Wow, what a wonderfully honest video post. I am fairly new to your blog and love it. I too have come along way in regards to a relationship with my mother. Honestly, you took the words right out of my mouth as I too believe through "the grace of God" we finally have a good relationship, but I had to let go and "mourn" her as a mother first. Also forgiveness that I had been denying had to be the first step.

    Thanks so much for posting the video!

  13. Mrs. C says:

    This is real authentic faith in action, speaking God's truth in love, of who we are. Grace is simply too amazing isn't it? Just resting in that, He never asked us to be good enough, Jesus Christ was perfect for us, because we couldn't be, never will be, until we are changed at that moment, BUT for now we are covered in His righteousness, and when God looks at us, He see's us covered in the righteousness of Christ, it is overwhelming. Love this, thank you for sharing His truth in His love!

  14. Traci says:

    Loved this vlog… that you for addressing those questions that we all face. GOD LOVES ME! I'm going to be perfected in HIM! Amen.

    Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations

  15. Amy says:

    I LOVE this. I am currently reading Beth Moore's book, So Long Insecurity. I love when God's truth on a subject keeps echoing all around me!! Thank you!

  16. Rachel says:

    Such an Ah-Ha moment there- He NEVER expected me to be perfect! He loves me where I am!

    Lovely as always Sarah Mae!

  17. Nichole says:

    Thank you for your words ~ they are so encouraging! I struggle deeply with all of the issues mentioned — especially with my mother. Both my parents were not what I had "hoped" for, I went through my childhood wishing I was someone else with a different family – sometimes wishing I had not been born. With parents so clueless (or maybe its refusing to face their demons) of the damage they have done, its been hard for me to move on.

  18. Nichole says:

    _rest of my post – was too long to submit as one.

    I believe you are such a blessing, and it was no that it was no mistake I was lead to your "backroom" posting. I had the same feeling something happened with my step-dad in our laundry room – but have absolutely no memory of most of my childhood. I have felt that I could not be complete until I recoved EVERY memory. And not to mention (as you did) something tangible to point to explain why I was so messed up. This has been such a battle for me, and so frustrating when you are trying to remember and nothing is coming to the surface. Your words did more healing than the year of therapy I have been in. Your words of having a Go!!d that is more powerful than that laundry room. God knew me then and know me now. He is standing in the gap and pointing me back to him. For the first time I felt peace that maybe there is a reason why I am not remembering. Wow – powerful and so so healing. Thank you for your inspiration and sharing your stories. Please keep writing!

  19. Kat says:

    Long story short…I do not have the butterfly and rainbows relationship w/my Mom either. My husband has been telling me let it go, find a way to appreciate her how I can for who she is. Your mourning your Mom as a mother…I needed to hear that. And with the difficulties in my relationship with my Mom, and growing up in my sister's shadow, I have dealt a lot with the pain of not measuring up. And you pointing out that God never expected me to be good enough…my mercy….He never puts me in anyone's shadow! This will go down as one of those blog posts that I will always remember!

  20. Thanks for this Sarah Mae…but just wondered how do we reconcile this with the verse that says 'Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect' Matthew 5:48?…

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Explain…I don't see an inconsistency. :)

  21. michelle says:

    Sarah, I had to mourn and grieve too. I can completely empathize with you when you say that it is a painful but freeing process. It puts us at a place where we are free to give without expectation. It doesn't mean we don't have boundaries. I have to have them for the health of myself and my family and often continue to remind her of them.

    I cannot allow the abuse and venom to permeate our home, but God has enabled us to give, and I, too, have seen change. It will always be painful at times; we don't stop being human, but His power and love is much stronger than the hate. I take comfort in His Words to overcome evil with good and bless when we are being cursed.

  22. michelle says:

    You don't have to publish this but you are welcome to visit my new blog if you like. I wrote an article recently called The Wrestling That Precedes Peace and my personal struggle with the issue of abuse. It's only a couple posts down from the current one!

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    I'm Sarah Mae. I'm figuring out how to fit perfect into fallen skin. Stick around for the stretching...your soul is welcome here.

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