“…I just wonder what kind of message we are sending our daughters if we are raising them to be homemakers, and yet in the same breath telling them “if you have to work it’s okay….you CAN have it all!”…this whole “do not judge lest you offend” wave that is overtaking the church is very disconcerting! We are to make sound judgments…there are CLEAR lines for some things! …I don’t think saying that it is best for a mother to be home is judgmental……I think it would benefit the church and the society as a whole, IMMENSELY if more people WOULD say so! I just don’t think it serves any good purpose to make christian stay at home Mom’s feel guilty for taking pride in their calling!” (These are excerpts from a comment I received on my “Less Than a Christian Wife” post. To read the whole comment in context, please see here.)
What kind of message am I trying to send?
My hope is that I am sending a message of love, because…
“…no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.” 1 Corinthians 13:3 (The Message)
My story is this: I try to love God by walking faithfully to His gentle leading in my life. I fail everyday at submitting to my husband, but I believe I should, and so I will keep trying. I fail everyday at being an organized, consistent homeschool mama, but I believe I’m supposed to be, so I will keep trying. I fail everyday at being a homemaker, but I believe that caring for the domain entrusted to me is my reality and my conviction, so I will keep trying. However, all of those workings/roles that I believe are laid out in scripture are not the gospel (and they do not define me or give me my identity). Do I believe that God says women should be homemakers? Yes. Do I understand what all that means in the context of the reality of life and people’s circumstances? No. God knows and He sees hearts and He understands wounds and histories and the whole picture. I have but a human, limited, logged understanding. For my own life, I am convicted to be home (and I am teaching my daughters how to be homemakers). But if my sister in Christ, who chooses a different path than where my convictions lead me, has the same God and the same Holy Spirit living inside her, than I can trust that He knows how to speak and guide her.
I have little desire anymore to judge (or “evaluate”) others insomuch as me telling them how to live; I have enough of my own life to get together before I could possibly start trying to “speak the truth in love” to others in this online medium. When and if I feel the need to tell the truth in love, I think it is important that I know that person well and that they know I love them. Speaking truth across invisible wires is a very difficult thing to do because the message is often lost in the type. You can’t see my face or hear my voice; you don’t know my history and I don’t know yours. How can you know I love you? How can I really speak the truth in love?
I’m not saying it can’t be done. I’m saying I’m not in a place where I feel comfortable doing it right now.
I am comfortable saying this: I do not think women can (or are called) to do it “all” (and I never said I thought they could). I think we need to stay close to God, listening to His spirit, reading His Word, and discerning what we are capable of. I think we need to be honest and vulnerable before the throne of grace.
I think I need to focus on my own life and trust that God will speak into the lives of His loved ones.
Would you like to receive blog updates to your email?