Type-B Homies (Homeschooling Encouragement from a Friend Who Gets You)
This one is for all you Type-B homeschooling mamas out there – be encouraged – you CAN homeschool well! Article brought to you by the sewing, cheescake eating, ninja of jewelry and accessory hipness, Ashlee Baker.
My name is Ashlee and I am a work at home, homeschooling mama to 6 kiddos, ages 12, 10, 9, 7, 3, and 1, with another arriving in early July.
I run an online baby store as well as my home. And I am total type-b. Let me give you a glimpse at our school day and then I will explain. My husband heads off for work at about 8am and I try to be up by the time he leaves, but that doesn’t always happen. I make sure all my kids are up by 9 and we sit down for breakfast. It’s usually 10 or so by the time we clean up and do morning chores, and we dive in to our work. Everyone does their math and then we do some form of English. It could be a workbook, a creative story written after I give them a scenario, a synopsis of our weekend, their opinion of an upcoming holiday or event or anything else I come up with. The point is always to have them use proper English, punctuation, their best handwriting and make them think. After that we usually eat lunch and I lay the babies down. Our afternoon usually is spent watching a documentary, painting or doing a craft, listening to an audio book or just creative play.
To some people this does not look like a sufficient school day, and that’s okay. I was that person once. We started homeschooling six years ago when my oldest was entering first grade. I knew what a typical school day looked like so that is what I tried to duplicate; we did not have much fun. I am extremely laid back, but the only thing I knew about homeschooling was strict schedules, preplanned curriculum, and an 8-3 schedule. That was not working for me. I would spend hours writing up the perfect schedule, only to fail miserably the next few days, and beat myself up about the failure. Over the next few years I settled into a groove of teaching what is necessary, and teaching a lot of extras in things that were fun. This did work for me.
I am fortunate enough to have a type-a husband who keeps me in check. I have a tendency to be extremely type-b which can be tough when you are teaching four kids and raising six. He would love nothing more than for me to write out a schedule and stick to it. But he also sees that I work better with routines than schedules, so he helps me stay accountable to that. He also appreciates the crazy things we do in the name of education. Last week we watched several episodes of Mythbusters on Netflix all in the name of learning. A few weeks before that we watched the documentary, Babies, and discussed in detail, cultural nudity among other things. And that’s okay.
One of the things I try to do as a type-b mom is accept my weaknesses and ask God to make then strengths. I am a horrible procrastinator, so I try to make sure I am early everywhere I go and explain to my kids why its important. When we are late somewhere we are being disrespectful to the person waiting on us because we are not respecting their time. This helps me to be accountable to my kids. Another weakness is poor time management. I try to make this a strength by sticking to my routine in an acceptable time. This keeps the pressure of a schedule at bay, but makes sure I am getting the most done in the time allotted. I am teaching my kids through this as well by making sure they do their chores and school work in an acceptable amount of time, with diligence.
I am very thankful I am type-b because I think it allows me to be flexible and easy going. If something happens in the middle of our school day that causes us to get off track, no biggie, we will catch up tomorrow. If a kid becomes sick in the middle of the day, we just take that opportunity to exercise our compassion by taking care of whoever is sick through serving them, taking over their chores joyfully, praying over them and doing what we can to cheer them up.
My kids may never memorize all the Presidents, but they will know what they do and they will know to respect them at all times, even if they don’t agree with their viewpoints. They may never memorize pi, but they will know how to spot the best deal at the store, calculate percentages, and make change quickly and accurately. They may never recite Robert Frost’s poems from memory, but they will be able to quote scripture with the quickness, for any situation they come across in life. They may never draw out the countries in Africa in 60 seconds, but they sure will pretend they are missionaries in the African jungle bringing the Word of God to an unknown tribe. Then again, they may do all those amazing things if they want.
I heard a story last year that solidified this thinking in my heart. It was the story of Francis Collins, scientist who helped map human DNA and who also happened to be an evangelical Christian. He was interviewed about his success and was asked about his homeschooling experience. His father was an English PhD and professor and his mom was a playwright (and type-b, I bet). He said they were very into folk music and putting on elaborate medieval productions. But this environment was a place to thrive. They would explore a topic, like the origins of words, for a week or two, doing nothing else, then move on to another subject, like mathematics. As a result, Dr. Collins said, he grew up with an unquenchable curiosity and love of learning. You see, God’s plan for him was to help map human DNA. All his parents had to do was create in him a passion for learning and God took care of the rest.
I will never teach my children all there is to know, but I will teach them all they need to know. My job is to create a passion for learning and a passion for Christ and He will take care of the rest.
Lastly, I must accept that I will never be type-a. I will never run well off schedules and strict curriculum. But that is okay, God created me just the way He wanted. He will give me all the strength and ability I need to do what He has called me to. Also, I am not inferior to my type-a friends, just different and their detailed schedules are not better, just different. There is room for all of us in the realm of homeschoolers, and our goal is basically the same, to provide our children with the best we have to offer.
Ashlee is a disciple, wife, mom of many, and artist. She stumbles through Gods calling, trying to do her best to honor Him. She make lots of mistakes but never gives up the pursuit of her Savior. He guides her as a wife, strengthens her as a mom to almost 7, and inspires her as an artist. Head on over to her blog (or check out her shop) and say “hi!”
THANK YOU for this! I am not a type B mom by choice-I am actually very much a type A mom, only in a type B body! It can get discouraging dealing with chronic health issues has forced me to accept some things that are less than ideal in our home school and life in general!
Getting upset about it only makes it worse. We must take what is given to us and trust that God is going to use it to bring about good for His glory!
Michelle´s last [type] ..It Is Quiet
Michelle´s last [type] ..It Is Quiet
Hi! Great blog.
I was curious about your homeschooling. When do you do history, science, spelling, foreign language , and other subjects? Also, do your kids learn anything about music, art, dance or health?
Thanks. Bless you for your wonderful work.
This was very encouraging… I completely agree! Proud type b homeschooling mother here!
Sarah Beth´s last [type] ..A Michigan Christmas!
Sarah Beth´s last [type] ..A Michigan Christmas!
I'll be honest with you. Reading your blog over, it sounds like you are overwhelmed and bored. It doesn't sound like you like homeschooling at all. Learning can be so much fun. Math, a workbook page and some movies? That sounds like the homeschooling day of a mother who has too much to do.
Your homeschooling day is so skimpy because you have toddlers, cooking, shopping, laundry and cleaning to deal. But when you give so little time and effort to your kids' education, it's going to show one day. You sound overwhelmed. Have you considered signing your kids up for a co-op?
God says we are to go out in the world. We are not to keep our kids locked up, getting an inadequate education, because we are afraid of what they might do or see.
It was so good to hear this. You see, my hubby is type a and I do believe I am type b. Thank you for sharing. I feel normal now! LOL
Joy´s last [type] ..A Work In Progress
Joy´s last [type] ..A Work In Progress
What an encouraging post! I am definitely a type B and even though I do not homeschool at this point, this post still spoke volumes to me. (The phrase 'I work better with routines than schedules' especially resonated with me). It seems I'm surrounded by Type A moms everywhere I turn and it can make me feel very inadequate/ unsuccessful. Accepting ourselves for who we are, looking at our strengths, and acknowledging our weaknesses is something all of us should do.
Karen´s last [type] ..My Love Affair with Craigslist
Karen´s last [type] ..My Love Affair with Craigslist
I agree 100%. I'm also type-b. The strength of that is I'm relaxed and flexible. Our school days look quite a bit like yours. My true desire is to create a thirst for learning in my kids and to give them the skills to pursue that thirst.
Great post- learning happens all the time, everywhere. Don't worry about it and just live together. You'll see the fruits- I promise!
Laura´s last [type] ..And My Word For This Year Is…
Laura´s last [type] ..And My Word For This Year Is…
This was such a great post!
I was so glad to be introduced to Raymond & Dorothy Moore (very supportive of Type-B ways!) when I first started reading about homeschooling (and yes, this was after we had already pulled them out of school, so I was stuck!) LOVED learning right off the bat "better late than early"–meaning it's better to get a late start on formal learning than early–especially boys! Make learning fun, laid back and don't push stuff. Both my boys hated math and writing…so we held back, did fun games instead, let them narrate their answers, stories, etc. Now they LOVE those subjects and excel in them.
Loved this…"I work better with routines than schedules". Me too!
Robin´s last [type] ..Cheesy Italian Herb Bread
Robin´s last [type] ..Cheesy Italian Herb Bread
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Great post…I'm type-A, but sometimes I just crave that type-B attitude, ya know? God created us all to perform our best in our situations and he paired us with husbands to help balance :)
Crying. Needed this today. I've been completely overwhelmed feeling that we have to have a set schedule and everything needs to be just so.
Feeling a little better.
Thank you.
Ooo I AM THIS MOM! LOL I am Type-B and it's ok. LOL Thank you-Thank you-Thank you for this post. I am always so worried that my kids (K & Preschool, goodness sakes!) are not getting "enough" school in their day.
I feel so much better about my lack of schedules and "mis"organization in my day. lol
~*April*~
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!!!!!! You can't even begin to imagine how much I needed to read this. I am definitely a type-B homeschooling momma, who's married to a type-A drill sergeant all the way. We butt heads a lot, and lately I've been feeling like a complete failure that my kindergardener isn't reading chapter books or learning long division yet. My husband thinks that we need to put in 6 hours at the kitchen table every day, whereas I prefer to bake cookies and weigh vegetables at the grocery store.
This is great! Thanks so much. I think I am a Type -B who SO much wants to be a Type-A. I feel like I fail a lot!
It's "perfectly" fitting that your comment is going to sit just above mine, Rebekah. I am a type B who has been masquerading as a type A for far too long. Thank you, Ashlee, for confirming the very thing the Lord has been placing on my heart as my children and I watch episode after episode of Curious George, Word World, and Sid the Science Kid, and my son creates invention after invention during the creative play that is the foundation and bedrock of our homeschooling days. It is my one passion to instill in my children an insatiable love of learning and a passionate love for the God of the Universe; if I do those two things I will count it a great victory, because I know that whatever they haven't learned from me, they will learn from Him!
Angela Andrews´s last [type] ..Day 10- The Rules of the Game Risk- pt 4
Angela Andrews´s last [type] ..Day 10- The Rules of the Game Risk- pt 4
As a homeschooling mom to seven children! I appreciate your post so much. I tried the 8-3 routine when my first was in 1st grade and we were not happy. Add a baby to that and we were miserable! Thanks for the encouragement!
ashlee! i just learned so much about you…and i love it all.
such an encouraging post, and while i don't homeschool, you still have encouraged me to pursue God and to trust him with my weaknesses (and strengths). and to be the mom that he has created me to be.
what a blessing this post was.
I know this post wasn't meant to be funny but I laughed so hard I was crying and couldn't even read it to my husband without cracking up through tears…you hit the nail on the head. There's such freedom in trusting the Lord to fill in the gaps. Thank you from another type-b homeschooling momma!
Well, as a Type A mom with Type B kids, I can say, you go, girl! I have yet to ever see a child truly thrive and learn and BE HAPPY while living off of textbooks and worksheets. It just doesn't work for the majority of children. I can write out lesson plans with the best of them, but the kids learn best when things are laid back, spontaneous, fun, and INTERESTING. I've had to learn to let go of my own perfectionist tendencies and let them learn the way that really works. Our day sounds a lot like yours, and you know what? My kids are SMART! Keep it up!
Hi Heather! You must have learned how to be a bit more relaxed with your HSing despite your Type A! Knowing you lean towards a CM method of learning, and everything else I've learned about you since being friends on FB, I would NEVER have guessed you were a Type A! I am TOTALLY a Type B, but I have a Type A extremist friend (IRL) who tells me I'm Type L (for Lazy). I have to blow it off, knowing God made us different for a reason! She doesn't HS, so she doesn't understand the lifestyle to begin with, let alone how having a Type B while HSing IS beneficial for MY children. My children simply don't do well when I begin to exhibit typical Type A traits. The funny thing is, my husband is also a Type B, but he's just more structured than I am due to his occupation. So even though we aren't opposite personalities, we still compliment each other perfectly. And God knew our children would need that from us.
Thank you! I honestly think I'm a Type-B, but put pressure on myself to conform to the Type-A expectations of my husband & others. I am encouraged by what you wrote! I am still in the process of figuring it out for our family (5 kids – ages 8, 6, 4, 2, & 9 mos). I also like the idea of a routine, but not a schedule. Thanks, again! Keep on keeping on!!!
Thanks for the encouragement from a fellow type B homeschooling mom! Glad to know there are so many like me out there.
Karen W´s last [type] ..The Simple Womans Day Book
Karen W´s last [type] ..The Simple Womans Day Book
First of all, GOOD FOR YOU!! After homeschooling for almost 14 years now I can tell you that it took me a very long time to realize that sometimes the important things are NOT the typical school subjects. I must address Janine when she said she feels like you are too skimpy in your education. I too wanted my kids to have "it all" when I started to homeschool. I had wonderful color coded schedules and signed them up for everything I could. Then it hit me, we wern't enjoying our time learning. Always trying to get somewhere, finish a project in time, so on. I then backed off…a lot. We began to enjoy the process of learning. We watched movies, talked to people with history to tell (like an older lady who lived during the holocaust while we shopped at our local garden center) or a skill to teach (like the man who ran the printing press at out local newspaper). I had a basic plan of math,english,history,and science but most of the time I winged it. Never knowing where our learning for the day would go. Wow, did they want to learn some interesting things. Things I never would have thought of if I was glued to a curriculum all the time. My son just graduated with honors from a very tough Jr. Collage. He loves to learn and he loves the Lord. With that kind of desire, he can do anything. I hope I can create that passion in my other 3 children.The process is sometimes more important.
Wow. Holy Smokes. Thank you SO much. God bless you. God has just used you to encourage me, to bless me – and I REALLY needed it. I am sitting here, in my sweats, slippers, hardly any makeup (Mary Kay Consultant/LOL), drinking my coffee and feeling like a failure and then I read this. I have to admit, you made me cry. Weight was lifted, I felt free. Or at least more free than I have felt in a long time. Again, thank you!
OH.MY.GOODNESS!!! This post was so COMPLETELY refreshing!! I always thought I was just an anomaly, never fitting into the box of other "homeschooling mums" …but now I have a new phrase – "i'm a type-B muma!!"
Thank you so much for this insightful wisdom!! What an encouragement for me to know that with my personality, I still CAN get my kids past kindergarten!!!!
I hope it's alright for me to copy this and post it on my blog…verbatim, of course, with all credits going to you!
Thanks again…and may God continue to bless you in your journey!
Christina B´s last [type] ..Pay-It-Forward2011
Christina B´s last [type] ..Pay-It-Forward2011
I love love love this! Thank you for giving me a label :-D
Just got around to reading it, it got lost in my inbox (because I'm a type-B! LOL). LOVE this!!! It speaks volumes to me!! Thank you so much for this encouragement!!
Please understand homeschooling is NOT an 8-3 job. When your kids are young you are to spend around 2-3 hrs a day and as they get older the time increases. Take your older kids with you to find a curriculum together that they would benefit from. It does sound like you are putting too much stress on yourself and are feeling overwhelmed. I will pray that the Lord will guide you through this process and surround you with people who will help you. Many blessings
Wow! It's as if I was reading about our family…I've never read of any other homeschool family that functions this way. I knew they had to be out there, but hadn't ever stumbled across them. Thank you for the encouragement!
I don't know how anyone can possibly say a mother of 6, almost 7, kids is bored–overwhelmed, I'll give you. I'm overwhelmed with two. My kids are only 3 and nearly 2 and I've just started picking a homeschool curriculum. I like the idea of more laid back, free-form learning (I'm Type B and Type L) but I'm too worried that then they won't learn what they should be learning. I plan on more kids and I've been imagining in my head how to make that work with homeschooling, but I don't do well with scheduling. I can't tell you how many planners I've bought and used once because I never look at them again. This is a good perspective on what days might actually end up being. And you know what, I think reading is the most important skill (I am biased as an English major) because then you can read and learn yourself. Type B all the way.
If you are not able to do your best and be diligent about teaching your kids (instead of counting TV as school) then maybe it is time to stop homeschooling. If you are not able to teach your children how to read, write, spell, do math, learn science, history, etc then you are doing your children a disservice by not preparing them for college, should they desire to go. Not to mention the fact that many states require yearly testing of homeschooled kids. If they are not on grade level, the state can take away your right to homeschool. And guess what? I AM a homeschooling parent myself! I just take my job seriously and don't use laziness as an excuse.