Choose the Words that Matter

Our words matter.

The words we speak and the words we listen to.

“Let no one deceive you with empty words…” Ephesians 5:6

There are many opinions and voices clamoring for my (our) attention. I feel pulled (because of my own sin) to align and take sides (no one is actually asking me to). I must remind myself of the truth, that I am already on a side; I’m covered in the blood that gushed from the One side that I do claim allegiance to, Jesus Christ.

I don’t need to feel measured or approved by anyone but my God. Neither do you.

(“Lord, what do you say?”)

I have judged my siblings in Christ. I have not loved as I would like to have been loved. I have measured others.

I have strong convictions and I hold dear to them because I believe God has given me revelation and I must therefore walk faithfully to His call. What I cannot do is lay bricks upon my siblings in Christ to follow suit. I’m recognizing that I need to be ever vigilant of the anger that wells up in me when there are theological disagreements between myself and my siblings in Christ, because the truth is, it’s just my pride in disguise. The world will know we are His by our love for one another, not our truth arrows aimed at one another. I tend to aim. I also must guard against thinking I am better than anyone else; it’s an easy trap to fall into when we think we’ve got it right. We have nothing and are nothing without Jesus. We are only where we are because of the revelation He has given us and the hope He lays before us in His mercy.

I can’t change you. You can’t change me. Only His hands lifting the veil can give me clarity; only His spirit invading mine can make me move. So why judge one another? Why get angry when someone doesn’t agree, or change? No more.

In this coming new year I purpose to be a hope giver. I purpose to try not to win arguments, but instead to show the world that I love my fellow saints because of our blood bond.

I purpose to love you well, write words that matter, and go before the throne of grace before I open my mouth.

I purpose to listen to only One voice.

Here’s to the New Year!

Grace, truth, and love over you!

___

Would you like to subscribe by email?

39 Coffee Talks on “Choose the Words that Matter”

  1. janene says:

    I'm so excited to see what the new year has to offer!! I have journeyed into a new relationship with Him, one that is requiring my vigilance and reading of His word, and I am awestruck by what He has done in my life…the places he has led me to read, to find comfort, to realize my daily struggles are similar to others–I am not alone, through Him all things are possible, and I rejoice and can feel the love, grace, and truth and wish the same for you in 2011 and always. Merry Christmas!

  2. Kendal says:

    This is truly something that I struggle daily with! Ugh! I have such strong convictions about motherhood, womanhood etc and I tend to get very angry when other women don't cary the same convictions. For me, the Bible is black and white and I want everyone else to see it as that too. I want to change the world and it's thinking and I haven't yet realized that I can't do it! I judge too quickly and I don't extend the same Grace to others that my Heavenly Father has given to me. Thank you for this post.
    Kendal´s last [type] ..A mighty God!
    Kendal´s last [type] ..A mighty God!

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Kendal, oh friend, I think we are probably so much alike! I would peek into your anger, because the majority of our anger is because of a lie we are believing (rarely is it a righteous anger, even though we think it is!). Maybe ask God to show you if there is something behind the anger. Love to you!

  3. Rachel says:

    Truly great inspiration for us all! Loving others well is by far a grande thing to do… Blessings on your journey Sarah Mae.
    Rachel´s last [type] ..They Saw The Star
    Rachel´s last [type] ..They Saw The Star

  4. Kendal says:

    Thank you Sarah! You know, sometimes I think the lie I am believing is that the Lord judges me harshly and I don't measure up. (but of course, I am fully aware that I am saved by grace and grace alone!!) And so therefore, I judge other people. Hmmm, maybe I truly need to repent of this and let the Lord reveal all of my hidden lies that I am believing, ones that I don't even realize.
    Kendal´s last [type] ..A mighty God!
    Kendal´s last [type] ..A mighty God!

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Kendal, make sure you download the Core Lies book when it comes out – it will help (and it's free!).

  5. Kendal says:

    I will Sara!! :)
    Kendal´s last [type] ..A mighty God!
    Kendal´s last [type] ..A mighty God!

  6. Melissa says:

    Our pastor preached a sermon several months ago on "spiritual markers" – the things that we get zealous about and elevate higher than they should be, even to the point of turning them into salvation issues. I believe you had a post about legalism right around the same time, and upon reading that I really felt like there was a theme going on in my life. It was something we were in the middle of (as targets at the time…though we have pointed plenty of arrows ourselves), and that message came at a great time. It reminded us that what truly matters is the Cross and the gift of salvation given to us there. None of us are deserving of the grace and mercy of God, but He loves us enough to give it freely anyway. Who are we to then turn around and deny grace to others?

    Thank you for being open and sharing your heart, Sarah Mae.

  7. Renee says:

    What a positive post! WE all can grow in showing more grace and love to our brothers and sisters in Christ! I think their is a balance between too much love (that avoid seeing sin) and being too legalistic and not showing grace!

    That is a fine line, a gray zone, a place where I'm still learning to be. A place where sin is not tolerate but view with the eyes of Christ, where Mercy and Grace extend hand and where Love bring others to Christ.

    I'm so imperfect at doing it, I still judge with my flesh and not His heart, I fail many time, but along way I'm learning to love more like he does even if I made mistakes!
    Renee´s last [type] ..Are you Lukewarm or on Fire
    Renee´s last [type] ..Are you Lukewarm or on Fire

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Renee, Thank you for your kindness! We are probably very similar!

      My thoughts are this: I don't think we can ever love too much, and I don't think we should judge at all. I think we should discern situations and people with whom we yoke ourselves with, but I don't think we can ever go wrong if we err on the side of love and grace. when there is sin to be seen, we need to focus on ourselves – we have enough to worry about in this lifetime! :)

  8. Wow, Sarah Mae! Lovley post and so well-written but I'm undone by your sincerity and humility. This has been on my heart lately as well and I can confess the same things. Thank you for having the guts to write it out. May we all be so brave to let love cover all. Happy Christmas!
    Sarah@EmergingMummy´s last [type] ..In which I thank you for being part of the Very Mercy Christmas Party
    Sarah@EmergingMummy´s last [type] ..In which I thank you for being part of the Very Mercy Christmas Party

  9. Tania says:

    Sarah, thank you SO much for your words, I am like that, full of pride and no helpful at all when I judge others. Reading you has remind me my deep need of repentance and the hope of becoming like Jesus…

    I'll post a few of your words in my FB status in spanish to share with others.

    Love

    Tania
    Tania´s last [type] ..¿Existen Santa y los Reyes
    Tania´s last [type] ..¿Existen Santa y los Reyes

  10. "What I cannot do is lay bricks upon my siblings in Christ to follow suit."

    yes and yes. love your heart here.
    suzannah {so much sh´s last [type] ..ugly sweaters and sundry winter tales
    suzannah {so much sh´s last [type] ..ugly sweaters and sundry winter tales

  11. Sarah A says:

    I love that you are always seeking Christ and letting Him guide your heart. May God continue to show you how to extend grace and love (which you already do a great job of!!) to other brothers and sisters of Christ…even when we don't agree.

    Merry Christmas!

    Sarah
    Sarah A´s last [type] ..And God will give you all the desires of your heart
    Sarah A´s last [type] ..And God will give you all the desires of your heart

  12. Michelle says:

    God bless you dear Sarah for these grace-filled words. If only we would always go before the throne of grace before ever opening our mouths, (both online and off) I dare say we would have little to apologize for later!

    Have a blessed Christmas! Lots of virtual hugs sent your way!
    Michelle´s last [type] ..When Your Husband Is Domesticated
    Michelle´s last [type] ..When Your Husband Is Domesticated

  13. Mrs. C says:

    Our very wise Pastor put this issue to rest for me. In one of his sermon's he very lovingly reminded us, he's not right, I'm not right, she's not right, they aren't right, no one else is right, ONLY God is right. Any truth we have is from Him, and He alone is right, if we find that we agree with His truths, it doesn't make us more right than anyone else. He alone is right, because He alone is truth and the revealer of things true.
    Mrs. C´s last [type] ..A Short Break
    Mrs. C´s last [type] ..A Short Break

  14. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Samaritan Ministries, Sarah Mae. Sarah Mae said: I have judged my siblings in Christ. I have not loved as I would like to have been loved. I have measured others. http://bit.ly/gQd6VS [...]

  15. Thank you Sarah Mae. You have put to words the thoughts I've had rolling around in my mind for many months now. I have judged my siblings, and I have been judged by my siblings in Christ. It seems that as Christians we believe that unity is the same as conformity. The quote that resonates the most with me from your post is: "What I cannot do is lay bricks upon my siblings in Christ to follow suit." I also appreciate the reminder that anything less than allowing others to be individual expressions of His love for all of us is my pride acting up. You have reminded me today that I am a snowflake, and I will do my best to remain the snowflake He created me to be.

  16. Beautiful! In my heart as well…thank you for sharing this.. Amen!

  17. Wendy Gunn says:

    Sarah Mae,

    Thank you for the great reminder. I will be looking at goal setting this week, and I need to reread this then.

    Have a very Merry Christmas (because of Jesus),

    Wendy

  18. Ms. Oomph says:

    THIS is why I read your blog! I can't wait to see what the year has to offer. Love your heart. :)

  19. Tylaine says:

    Hi Sarah,

    I've been following your blog for several months now but never have commented. I so look forward to reading each post. You are so inspiring and I really admire your faith and humility. Thankyou and may you and your family have a wonderful and very blessed Christmas! God bless!

  20. Kalyn says:

    Really needed this today. Sometimes I get too concerned about sharing my point of view rather than showing love to others who happen to disagree.

  21. Barbie says:

    Choosing to be a Hope Giver right along with you!
    Barbie´s last [type] ..A Prophetic Art Journey – A Guest Post
    Barbie´s last [type] ..A Prophetic Art Journey – A Guest Post

  22. kimberley says:

    "I have strong convictions and I hold dear to them because I believe God has given me revelation and I must therefore walk faithfully to His call. What I cannot do is lay bricks upon my siblings in Christ to follow suit."

    with those 2 sentences you've put words to what i have been struggling with for a few months now. it's as though a light went off and i can see that yes, i can have and hold to the convictions that God has placed on my heart…but it's not my place to "convict" my brothers and sisters. thank you!!

  23. Sandy says:

    Love your heart, Sarah and I am eager to see where this year takes you.

  24. Angela says:

    I wish I'd remember my posting, your posting and Ann and Holley's posting on words and how they make a difference the other day… My 20th wedding anniversary to be exact. My husband frustrated me so and I let him know it right there while we were sitting. Thank God the music was up load so no one could hear the rising of my voice, but I know all who saw my head bobbing knew I wasn't happy. I didn't dare to tell a soul there that we were celebrating our 20th anniversary.

    I can't wait to see how those of us participating in this end up at the end of the year.

    Thanks Sarah :)
    Angela´s last [type] ..A work in progress
    Angela´s last [type] ..A work in progress

  25. Angela says:

    Wow, Sarah, I hope things are ok with you. I came to read your post about words and saw that you haven't posted since the 23rd. I'm not use to this happening much over with, without notice. Maybe you did say something about it and I missed, I'll go back and check.

    Anyways, I hope you and the family or ok and you're just resting. Much love to you :)
    Angela´s last [type] ..Making a difference with your words
    Angela´s last [type] ..Making a difference with your words

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Hi Angela – we're just resting and taking a nice break! No worries, I'll be posting soon! :)

  26. Tracy Stoffell says:

    Sarah Mae

    Awesome post, we all need to watch our words and attitudes when it comes to others. Jesus does tell us to Love one another. I tend to always try to keep 1 Corinthians 13 and Galatians 5:16-26 near. In fact I have them posted at work. Sometimes we all need to be reminded.

    I did enjoy your post. Thanks

  27. Isn't grace always the most amazing of all?

    I love you,

    Ann

  28. Wendy Hagen says:

    Well said my sister.
    Wendy Hagen´s last [type] ..Christmas Day Family Photo
    Wendy Hagen´s last [type] ..Christmas Day Family Photo

  29. [...] Choosing the Words that Matter [...]

  30. Mindy says:

    Oh, how I love this post! God has been dealing with me about this very thing. It hurts, but hopefully it is a hurt that will spur change!
    Mindy´s last [type] ..Quick Sewing Post
    Mindy´s last [type] ..Quick Sewing Post

  31. Sarah Beals says:

    By this (love) shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another…"

    I read somewhere on a godly mennonite woman's blog that she was GRIEVED that the world knew the mennonites by their plain clothing and their canning and baking INSTEAD of by their LOVE which is what the Lord commanded. A very insightful woman!

    Happy New Year!

  32. Oh, good for you, Sarah! Good for you!

    Boy, do I know how you feel. As I look back at my adult life, one of the things I regret is how judgmental I was as a young adult. I felt quite certain that I was listening to God and responding to His words, and I felt that I should share my knowledge with others.

    But it turns out that I was wrong about some things.

    I'm amazed as I consider some of the things that were once part of my core beliefs. I knew my Bible; I studied diligently. But I've learned that some of those beliefs were wrong, even though I believed them so wholeheartedly. I was sincere and earnest, and I really thought I understood what God was saying. Only with experience have I learned that some of the things I formerly believed so earnestly were not quite right. Yet I used them to judge other people; I felt it was my duty to correct them. I thought that I wasn't being honest and faithful if I didn't share my knowledge with others.

    I applaud you in your resolution. "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples: if you have love one for another." You're resolving to take Jesus at his word! God bless you in this holy effort!
    Richella at Impartin´s last [type] ..For Edie
    Richella at Impartin´s last [type] ..For Edie

  33. Paige says:

    Sarah,

    First off, thank you so much for writing this article. It has really made me think. I have a particular weakness for judging others and believing (sometimes even subconsciously) myself superior.

    Last year I chose to end two friendships with girls I had known since high school. I wont go into detail, but I believed them to be unsupportive friends, selfish, and judgmental. I realize now that even if this was true (and it is not my place to say), I was being all those nasty things when I cut off communication without warning.

    Now I find myself in a dilemma. I feel strongly I have wronged these two girls, but I hesitate to begin communicating again. Perhaps we have all grown, but I worry; what if we are still poorly suited to each other? Should I reach out and risk attaching myself again to someone who is very, very silly? Have you had this issue before outgrowing old friends?

    Thanks, Sarah!

    -Paige

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Paige – I think this:

      “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24

      Email them (or call) and tell them you are sorry. It doesn't mean you then have to be best friends, or friends at all. Love is wrapped in grace, and the bow is beautiful forgiveness.

Leave a Coffee Talk

CommentLuv badge

  • Photobucket

    I'm Sarah Mae. I'm figuring out how to fit perfect into fallen skin. Stick around for the stretching...your soul is welcome here.

  • Meta


  • Loading