Part Two: Is Your Family An Outpost for Christ?
This is a guest post by Joy…see part one here.
In my first post, I wrote about the Christian tendency to retreat from the world and how this disobeys God’s command. Today we will discuss how to build your family into an outpost for Christ in your community.
We are commanded to show hospitality to all.
Romans 12:13 and 1 Peter 2:9 both command us to show hospitality. This is not optional, and it is for all of us. God sent us to make disciples, and that only happens by entering people’s lives, allowing them into ours, and living God’s unconditional love for them.
Is it always safe? No. Does God allow us that excuse? No.
We are not foolish, however. My husband and I want our children and their friends to gravitate here. We allow the children in the neighborhood in, we feed them, and we listen to their conversations. By opening our home, we know our kids’ friends, we know their challenges, and we know their location.
As we make our homes welcoming, we still maintain our standards. This is the difference between assimilation and immersion. We do not become like our neighbors, but we enter into their lives. Doing so allows us to model for our children how to interact with the world and to give them a somewhat controlled context in which to try it themselves. Hands-on experience is essential for them to develop discernment (see through the world’s lies), spiritual muscle (humbly yet firmly share their reasons for doing/not doing something), and hospitality.
I’ve struggled to gently maintain our standards of speech and behavior without creating an oppressive atmosphere that drives the kids elsewhere. With practice I’ve grown more comfortable gently sharing our rules with statements like, “We don’t speak that way in our family. If you choose to continue to use those words, you will need to play somewhere else.” We designate certain evenings and Sunday afternoons as family time, but this is the exception, not the rule.
Unpleasant encounters become redemptive conversations. Choosing to interact with people who don’t share our values and our faith does expose our children to worldly attitudes and actions. We see these as ripe opportunities to apply the biblical perspective to very specific situations. These conversations also provide better understanding of how our children are processing what they see and hear.
This summer, I overheard a conversation between my son and a friend. The friend was describing a hurtful and inappropriate way “make girls squirm.” My son and I spent that evening talking about what the Bible says about our bodies, respecting one another, and coming to someone’s defense. I wouldn’t have had that opportunity if the boys hadn’t been in our home to begin with.
It isn’t easy. Engaging with our community can be messy, noisy, uncomfortable, and inconvenient. But God didn’t promise us comfortable, calm, tidy, or easy. We pray that as we obey His command to go and share, God will guard our children’s hearts and be glorified as we show His love to the world outside our front door.
Joy blogs at Joy In This Journey (www.joyinthisjourney.com). She credits her oldest daughter Elli (now in heaven) with forcing her out into her community. Elli’s special needs required public education, in-home help, and the expertise of hundreds of people they would never have met otherwise. You can also find her on Twitter.
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I’m a Tommy Mommy and can’t wait to tell you all about it real soon!
I too have had the opportunity to even take unsaved children to church with us and show them what Gods love and fellowship is all about. They have become so much better and have made the desire to follow Christ even though the parents may not. Others, I have had to stop from playing over because they would not bend to our rules, but that doesn't deter me from spreading the word of god to unsaved people. We pray for them that God opens their hearts to hear His voice. That is such a blessing to see what God can do if we just open our hearts to let Him lead others to Him through us. I want my children to know that some people are bad, while others just don't know God. They may not have been exposed and that's why we have to let our light shine for all the world to see. Above all, show love as He first loved us.
Valencia´s last [type] ..Feminine Friday
Valencia´s last [type] ..Feminine Friday
I really liked this post and the previous one. We don't home school, but all Christians can be guilty of pushing others away in an attempt to protect our own families. I thought it was interesting that you pointed out how our families can become idols in the last post. My husband mentioned this in a sermon one Sunday. He talked about how dangerous it is when we see our families as more important than others and we strive to protect them to the detriment of other families and even children. We feel we are called to public school for this reason. While I have no problem with homeschooling, if every Christian did it as many have urged, it would be a huge detriment to society as a whole. While some may feel it is best, there are many children who don't come from Christian or even functioning homes through no fault of their own. Our family feels convicted to get in there and fight for public schools and try to make them better for the least of these. Thanks for your thoughts.
Alyson´s last [type] ..Serenity in the Midst of Chaos
Alyson´s last [type] ..Serenity in the Midst of Chaos
In a recent podcast (I unfortunately don't remember the individual being interviewed), the point was made that one major way the early Christians and early church were notably different from their neighbors was the standards they lived by in regard to their spouses, families. This individual ended the interview by saying that Christian families living boldly and successfully in the face of a culture starving for the relationships only a Godly family can provide offer a witness that cannot be argued with. This gave me goosebumps–to think that the greatest witness I can have will be accomplished while and BY being a Godly, submitted wife and mother. In today's culture, just being a woman AT HOME offers so many opportunities to pour into the lives of others. Hospitality is huge–I like how these articles touch on hospitality as opposed to "fellowship" with others in our clique! But when the door is open and friends/neighbors/family pour through, it's as if we have the opportunity to engage the god of this world on our own turf. And when our turf is GOD's turf, we cannot lose.
Thank you for sharing this. It is timely for us. We home school 5 boys, and have been very isolated, as we try to find our footing in the world. Trying to maintain our standards, but also not being 'exclusive'. It isn't easy, you are right, it is messy, and noisy, and sometimes, can lead to very 'hard to deal with' situations, and require long and often discussions with our children – but we are learning that this is one of the really awesome things about parenting intentionally.
Thank you again for sharing this, and reminding me that it isn't about US, it is ALL for Christ, and my boys will be (should that be 'are' )Christ's not mine at the end of the day – and they need to learn that NOW.
All for Jesus, all for Jesus….
Jo´s last [type] ..Raw Muesli
Jo´s last [type] ..Raw Muesli
Definitely a post I can say "amen!" to ;-)
Hope this isn't for girls only. My wife shared with me these two articles and I had to chime in. As the father of a household of 5, I am commissioned by God, (Ephesians 6, Dueteronomy 6)to lead my fam and train them up to pick up their cross as commisisioned in Matthew 28. I am commissioned to do that, not have someone else do it for me. I find that too many parents take advantage of public school arenas to allow their kids to be involved in everything and use this as a break from having to do thier jobs, which is to train up their kids. They expect the Priest, Pastor, teachers and others to do it for them. I even witnessed this in our church, as parents brought in their kids and left, only to come back later. We need to learn together folks, as families, lest we risk them not getting it at all. We can't spread the love of Christ to the masses if we don't all understand how to do within our own walls.
Yup, we homeschool and the reasons why are obvious. I was told that in the local public school, girls were kissing and making-out with one another in the hall. I was appauled and asked if the teachers and leaders did anything about it. They said they can't do anything more about it than when boys and girls do the same thing. Of course, this is just one instance…there are drug issues, bullying and more as well… Will your kids stick up against this and risk ridicule? Maybe some, but my guess is that many won't.
And, my kids are very involved in the community, both in sports, music and many groups. So lets not label homeschooling as a clique or an intreverted group. Let's raise up our children at home and then go into the world. I'm pretty sure the church in Acts didn't have public schools to send their kids off to. They learned together, as families, including the church family. If you are a public school family participant, I don't condem, but caution to be very involved in your child's life. Devotions are of the utomost importance, pray with them, disciple them. By doing this, we will raise a generation of thinkers and doers for Christ, not followers of whatever the world paints as acceeptable.
I disagree with Scott that our children can't stand up to the pressures in public school. There were drugs and drinking and promiscuity in my school and my sister and I both withstood all of it. But I do agree that it comes back to the parents' teaching. We were able to do that because our parents grounded us in Christ and His Word and we had a strong relationship with them. Joy pointed out that we still maintain our standards as we interact with the world and we teach our children to do the same. We confront these behaviors and teach our children God's expectations for them. Many of us who choose public school still train our children. We have devotionals and scripture readings together daily. I just want to clarify that I don't expect the public schools to do that part for me. My husband and I do not feel that we are in any way outside of what Christ has called us to do in this area. I think we need to be very careful about holding up a "Biblical" way to educate our children. Other than teaching them the ways of the Lord (which we do) I just don't see it in there.
Alyson´s last [type] ..Baking with John Curtis
Alyson´s last [type] ..Baking with John Curtis
First, I didn't say all kids couldn't take care of themselves in the light of difficult circumstances: "Will your kids stick up against this and risk ridicule? Maybe some, but my guess is that many won’t." Some will do so just fine. I also didn't say that if you choose to have your kids attend public school, bad things will happen: "I don’t condem, but caution to be very involved in your child’s life." Alyson, it sounds like you and your husband work hard to keep your kids grounded and that is commendable. I have friends that do the same.
I simply point out that the homeschool community should not be labeled as a group who does not involve their kids in the community. This is simpley false. And yes, we are commissioned to educate our children by using the truths established by God in the Bible. This is not something they get in the public arena, as a matter of fact, its condemned, (not by students or even some teachers, but by the system).
God bless you Alyson for your family who takes a stand for Christ and for all those who do the same. We should all strap on our armor of God, which we again learn about in Ephesains, we just choose to use it a little differenty.
Scott, I am so thankful that God chooses to use us all in different ways. Blessings on you and your family as you follow God's call on your life.
Alyson´s last [type] ..Friday Afternoon at the Park
Alyson´s last [type] ..Friday Afternoon at the Park
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