In the Blink of an Eye

My daughter will be five years old next month.

All my life of dreamed of being a mother and all the wonderful adventures I’d have with my children.  I dreamed of caring for a home of my own, drenching it in love, hospitality, and joy.  When I worked at Barnes & Noble during college I would linger around the children’s section unpacking my future days with all the books and crafts and learning we would do together.  I imagined pig tails bouncing up and down while picking pumpkins.  Picnics with blankets and baskets, hours of reading books from the library, family outings…all these things occupied my mind while hope for the future swelled in my heart.

It is nearly five years since my first little one was laid in my arms; a sweet baby girl who had no idea about the plans I held deep within.

It has gone by so fast…

So fast in fact, that with other babies and cleaning and life I lost some of my dream and got caught up in another one. It started slowly, this budding drive in me to create.  Instead, however, of creating the dreams I held for my family, I started creating something that seemed to fill the long and lonely toddler days.

I started to blog.

A little bit at first, with just a personal family blog.  Then came Like a Warm Cup of Coffee.  Then came affirmation.  Then came money.  Then came pseudo popularity. Then came addiction. Then came more and more and more….

Then came obligation.

And now…

Now I’m a little sad, and a little lost…and I miss my original dream.

46 Coffee Talks on “In the Blink of an Eye”

  1. Sara says:

    Dreams change and evolve not always the way we want them to. I believe God has a plan we just have to have the faith to follow xxx

  2. Stacy says:

    I'm so with you on this one.
    Stacy´s last [type] ..Tick- Tock
    Stacy´s last [type] ..Tick- Tock

  3. Anna says:

    Aw, Sarah Mae.

    First of all, know that your blog has been a blessing to many. And God has used it.

    Second, I admire you for allowing yourself to feel guilt where it is deserved. I know I have to remember that God doesn't want me to push guilt away, but to look it in the face, question its legitimacy, and then take it to the cross, repent, and seek forgiveness and change.

    Third, I know what you mean about addiction. Something needs to change in my heart here as well. Not so much just with my blog, but with entertainment… wasted time. We only have one life.

    I will pray that you will be able to find a rhythm that orders your priorities rightly and doesn't waste precious time. I also pray God will continue to use you through the medium of blogging as He sees fit.

  4. Stephanie H. says:

    I feel ya sister! It's in our being to always want more, more, more. Than we loose sight. Then we see clearly again. I have 27 followers on my blog with 158 tags….But I want more, so I can get to whatever I feel might be next. I don't have the scripture handy and I don'y know it by heart but it goes a little something like this…don't preach to the masses if it means loosing your family. I looooove your blog, but slow down if you have to. Us faith-fulls will still be here when your ready. (((Hugs)))

  5. michelle says:

    You are such an inspiration as a mother to me and it's easy to see how much care and effort you've poured into those little lives so far. I hope you find the way to savor every moment with them while keeping your ministry here. You are a good mama and a blessing to the rest of us.
    michelle´s last [type] ..Relevant Advertising
    michelle´s last [type] ..Relevant Advertising

  6. nataliekaren says:

    Well, I know too well how you feel. But from one to another you will always feel like you didn't do enough. It just comes with the territory. Your life will be filled with milestones and you won't know how you got there and so quickly. I could swear I was just trying coax my little one to leave the park and next thing I know we are planning her wedding http://visualmasterpiece.blogspot.com/2010/02/lau…
    My advice to you, just keep hugging and kissing as much as you can.

    http://paperflora2.blogspot.com http://www.etsy.com/shop/PaperFlora http://twitter.com/PaperFlora2

  7. Kathi says:

    I have often wondered about this very thing. And, although you're posts on "How to _____ your Blog" and your Good Morning America bit, had me thinking (not that my Little Blog would do anything like LAWCOC), my husband and I decided that it was time for me to pull away some, before it got to be too much. We don't need a supplemental income right now, my Babies need their Momma.

    If you decide it's time to spend more time with your Family…your Babies…reading, picnicking, napping, baking, coloring…whatever…I will still be reading LAWCOC, each time you do find a moment or make a moment to share with us.

    It's a furiously fast Season Sarah Mae…trust me, my Baby Girl turned 13 this Spring. And, she was just placed in my arms yesterday…
    Kathi´s last [type] ..The Fruit of A Home Marked as Gods
    Kathi´s last [type] ..The Fruit of A Home Marked as Gods

    • Sarah Mae says:

      Kathi – I think my posts will be more family/homeschooling oriented…because that's what I'm going to focus on, and the bits and pieces I share will come from those times.

  8. Big hugs!
    Tara McClenahan´s last [type] ..Are You Trying to be SuperMom
    Tara McClenahan´s last [type] ..Are You Trying to be SuperMom

  9. Robin says:

    My heart goes out to you dear! Life is full of choices. It is also going by fast and we have to keep our priorities in the right order AND it can be so hard.

    Pour your heart into your family and let your blog be an accessory. And your dream…that desire to be all there for your family will come true.

    Your little ones are growing even faster than your blog.

    Hugs & Love

  10. marilyn says:

    Sarah Mae, we all go through different seasons in life. When we have the courage and wisdom to step away, we can know that God is working in our lives. Isn't that a blessing?

    I was just contemplating our family life. We talk about a new season. Our oldest daughter is soon to turn 20 and yes, it seems like yesterday that she was skipping around with pigtails (even though she still does the skipping thing–she is such a blessing.) It goes by so fast and I am screaming "Lord, I am not done yet!" He placed before me different areas that we had to work on. He is so merciful. He showed me my need and through that, where it is that I needed to help her.

    I am just entering in the world of blogging. I am finding more time on my hands as our girls are becoming more independent. Your site has been such an inspiration. Thank you so much for your insight.

    Let nothing eclipse your vision that has been placed on your heart–given to you by God. Remember, your home is your first mission field. May God Bless
    marilyn´s last [type] ..Where Have I Been
    marilyn´s last [type] ..Where Have I Been

  11. Amanda says:

    I love you and especially your heart! Sometimes we seem so similar… and I love that you have those dreams cus you know they are things you will never regret doing however have a successful blog that causes you to neglect your children home is something you will regret! I love reading your posts and don't want you to stop but i sooo understand and want you to follow God's plan and your dreams! Plus I get you in real life so it's not like I would really lose you. Anyways thanks for the encouragement and keep cherising your babes cus they are soooo great!
    Amanda´s last [type] ..Share your story!
    Amanda´s last [type] ..Share your story!

  12. kristin says:

    Now isn't that the truth???

    Just found your blog a couple of weeks ago and find it to be very encouraging and intimately authentic.

    Which is what ALL women need right?

    Intimate and authentic other women to walk along side…

    Very lovely.

    Thank you, Kristin

  13. Brooke Clarke says:

    Sarah Mae, I have enjoyed your blog from the very first post I read. You have great things to say. I have always wondered how these full-time blogging mammas do it…blogging and doing what thier blogs encourage others to do. While I don't know this person "in real life" I have always thought that Laura Booz does a great job with writing a fabulous blog that others want to read without posting every single day and without writing lengthy posts. I know you know her personally but I think she might have some wisdom to share?? I hope that didn't overstep any kind of relational boundries being that I don't know you personally either. I want to encourage you to keep writing because I think you're great, you clearly have a passion for it and you are sooo talented. I know you can do it within the parameters of doing all you want to do with your babies. I love your honesty and openness. God blesses such confession and repentance. All the best and I'll keep reading no matter how infrequently you write :)

  14. Jennifer says:

    Thanks for this post, Sarah Mae. I am new to the blogging world. I find so many blogs very motivating…at the same time, highly distracting (a minute here, a minute there)! I am going to keep this post in mind, and live as the forethought, blog as an afterthought. I also have two young children, and another on the way, and I don't want to slow down on tea parties, paintings, crafts, and lots of book readings! Best wishes to you on your blog slowdown. :-)
    Jennifer´s last [type] ..Your House Speaks for You
    Jennifer´s last [type] ..Your House Speaks for You

  15. Mama Llama says:

    So this is your observation—So what is your application? I feel this myself. Pulled in so many directions. I feel often i am a better blogger than a mother. So I run to an outlet where I enjoy it, where I am noticed, praised, "retweeted", asked to do guest posts, etc. I fear if I scrap it all now, I will lose a platform where I can influence women. But I don't want to "HAVE" to do it. Is this a blog for my family? for Blogher? for the world? Is it a ministry blog, a family blog, a funny or serious blog? I feel pulled. And I feel like pulling out.

    So this is your observation… Amy over at Blogging With Amy just posted something Similar– maybe the Holy Spirit is making his rounds.

    so where do you go with this? I would love some application to help me think through my own life.
    Mama Llama´s last [type] ..DC for Kids – Building Museum
    Mama Llama´s last [type] ..DC for Kids – Building Museum

  16. S Club Mama says:

    I think God can evolve dreams to fit His plan. I'm very thankful for your blog. I think God appreciates how you spread His love and kindness and the truth through your blog.
    S Club Mama´s last [type] ..textiles
    S Club Mama´s last [type] ..textiles

  17. We have a five year old and a three year old and I try to remember why I blog, but for now it's for the opportunity to encourage and uplift other gals who have either been there/done that or those coming down the pike behind me. I enjoy the encouragement I get from other Mommas and I enjoy meeting the new people here. I find that making friends in this city we have now lived in or around for the past five years is not as welcoming as we all would like to think our community to be. It's very deep either in short term moving hither and then yon or DEEP in family so no need for new friends. It's tough to crack this cookie, and thus I blog. I used to be quite involved but no matter how I try blending three people into something (my beloved informs me often that he can take care of himself in this area *smile*) is much harder than I ever dreamed. I love being a Momma, though I find that the more I try to mesh with others for the face to face connetion the more I struggle as a momma. So, I relax into my nut and share Christ through the way we present ourselves to our neighbors, when out grocery shoping each week, and rescently at our local library. It's not a matter of reaching the entire world right now, rather reaching what you can. I may not be able to reach the beautiful vase on the top shelf in my pantry but as the Lord as my step stool, in time that vase will be reached if not by me than my the beloved seed He has blessed in my every single day teaching care. *smile* I do hope you are able to take a step back and just make the time to sit without worrying about the computer playing in the yard with your little ones. Though, that is not easy once we get used to the rutine of always being on the computer. *smile/sigh* Make the time to be disconnetced from the world for a few minutes every day or maybe make an afternoon or morning of it once a week and see if you see a differance in you and your family. It may be just what you need. The conciouse STOP of computer or "outside noise" in your life from time to time. *smile* Just an idea that I am trying here. *smile* Yesterday we enjoyed movies all day and LOVED it! And today we went out in the yard and just "hung out" out there. I found that I was getting more and more uptight in my role as Momma rather than enjoying it so we "took a break" in the back yard to "get some good ol' fashoned vitamin D". Our kids will now tell me that same quote when they want to go out to play. *big smile* Have a great day growing in God. Sincerely, Mommy of two little blessings & so much more!
    Mommy of two little´s last [type] ..Pretty Consistantly
    Mommy of two little´s last [type] ..Pretty Consistantly

  18. Dionna says:

    I am constantly reprioritizing my computer time and asking God where I'm supposed to be with my writing ministry. First and foremost is family. But yes – time can get so easily whittled away.

    I'm so sorry you feel sad. Let God convict and motivate you where it may be needed but don't let Satan shame you. There is a time and a place for everything – if God put a desire in you to write – He can and will use it.

    I pray your heart will find peace on this issue and that everything will line up where it should. :)
    Dionna´s last [type] ..Our Children Need More Mothers
    Dionna´s last [type] ..Our Children Need More Mothers

  19. Amy says:

    I totally understand where you are coming from. I was thinking about that lately. I was so interested in starting a blog and figuring out ways to make it popular- then the other day I realized that I really need to be OFF the computer and working with my kiddos.

    I follow several homeschool blogs pretty regularly and I always leave their sites wondering how much time they actually have for their kids when they post constantly, are taking pictures constantly for their blog, and are always adding new things etc. I know for me, I barely started a blog that isn't even going anywhere, and I could see what a time-sucker it is.

    Personally, I'd rather be living my life (soaking up the moments with my kids and family) instead of locked to the computer writing about it.

    I want to detox from the blog-o-shpere and get back to real life.
    Amy´s last [type] ..Planning Our Science Curriculum
    Amy´s last [type] ..Planning Our Science Curriculum

  20. So much has been said already that I agree with on so many levels (like using one's blogging & writing desires for the Lord, spending more time with kids before they grow up and finding that balance between the two.) It is so very tough and I've burnt dinners over blogging and made the kids late to school trying to get a Wordless Wednesday or Works For Me Wednesday post up before leaving. That's when I realized that I couldn't let it control me or be an obligation. The kids and my other writing and teaching HAD to come first. I blog when I can but life has to come first. It is a freeing realization especially when there are other rewarding outlets for writing too that can be financially beneficial as well if you give them the time — and it does take time to focus and pray and let the Lord work through your writing.

    Keep up the good job. I don't come by often enough but I can see how your writing here has made a difference in these ladies' lives. God is definitely moving through your commitment here.
    sarah (GenMom)´s last [type] ..Frozen cheesesteaks In Philly- seriously
    sarah (GenMom)´s last [type] ..Frozen cheesesteaks In Philly- seriously

  21. Jessica says:

    I so appreciate you honesty…sometimes when I sit at my computer getting ready to write I wonder what my life would look like if I just quit blogging altogether or if I had never started. Would it be simpler? More enjoyable?

    I don't know…maybe.
    Jessica´s last [type] ..This boy
    Jessica´s last [type] ..This boy

  22. "a dream is a wish your heart makes . . ." a new dream will

    replace the old one. sometimes it is good to mourn the

    old one. sometimes we just have to grow on.

    He will lead you. happy birthday to your five year old.
    lea Helmerich´s last [type] ..all done
    lea Helmerich´s last [type] ..all done

  23. Rachel says:

    Your readers love you for you- and no matter what you post or make time for, the light that is Sarah Mae will shine through…

    And oh how I know- I am now homeschooling a 2nd grader and a kindergardener!?! How did this happen so quickly? :)
    Rachel´s last [type] ..Homeschooling- Its More Than Denim JumpersPart One
    Rachel´s last [type] ..Homeschooling- Its More Than Denim JumpersPart One

  24. Tania says:

    Thank you for being so candid…you have no idea how much God has use you this day.

    Love
    Tania´s last [type] ..No puedo hacerlo
    Tania´s last [type] ..No puedo hacerlo

  25. julia says:

    well, i'm probably just another little comment on a big blog. i've written about this so many times. I've seen bloggers like you who have risen so fast to "stardom" and end up taking a break or just going back to the basics.

    we love affirmation when we blog… i'm also tired of blogging out of obligation or wondering if my readers will like what i wrote about today. and how come one post has 2 comments and another has 20??? Sarah, read my post from today. i have a totally different blog than you, but sometimes you have to get back to what you're passionate about. $$ is great, but it can drag you down and make you feel like you HAVE to post or you HAVE to run a contest or you HAVE to open an Open Sky acct (i just opened one and I'm not sure i even want to do it now.)

    keep praying about it.
    julia´s last [type] ..Bloggity Blah blah
    julia´s last [type] ..Bloggity Blah blah

  26. Mrs Little says:

    You always seem to have a post that touches what has been weighing on my mind. My goals for this "school year" is to schedule "office hours" for blogging and to start teaching my oldest (3.5 years) about the Bible following a homeschooling style. I am also wanting to attend a women's through our church once every week.

    We will see if I can make that all happen while raising two kids, keeping the home and being a wife to my husband.

    Do what you need to do, Sarah Mae, these years are short when our kids are young.
    Mrs Little´s last [type] ..Steeped Tea Strawberry Jalapeno Salsa Giveaway!!!
    Mrs Little´s last [type] ..Steeped Tea Strawberry Jalapeno Salsa Giveaway!!!

  27. Angelina says:

    TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON…PURPOSE ECCLESIASTES 3:1-8

    God has an eternal plan that includes the puposes and activities of every person on earth. We must give ourselves to God as holy sacrifices, allow the Holy Spirit to accomplish God's plan for us,and be careful not to be out of God's will and miss God's timing and purpose for our lives..

    "I BESEECH you therefore brethren,by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice,holy acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the reneawing of your mind,that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God." Rom.12:1-2

    May the Lord grant you wisdom in this season and may he give you strength to do that which He is calling you to do..

    In Christ
    Angelina´s last [type] ..May We Sail As Vessels of Honor
    Angelina´s last [type] ..May We Sail As Vessels of Honor

  28. I started blogging when my B was one. I adore being a mother and longed for it as well. But yes, some days are lonely. Thanks for the reminder to redeem the time in His way and not mine.
    Janna @ Mommy's´s last [type] ..Crossing the Border Into Mexico
    Janna @ Mommy's´s last [type] ..Crossing the Border Into Mexico

  29. Annie H says:

    I do concur with what has been said. Time with our precious children does go by very fast. My son will be 4 in just 5 weeks. We waited 7 years for him. How can he be 4 already?

    I truly enjoy your blog and have been encouraged and touched. Thank you for sharing from your heart. You are on my reader. When you post – no matter how sporadic – the post is there for me to read. Do what you believe is right for your family during this time of your life. Hugs and prayers for you.
    Annie H´s last [type] ..living a life in moments
    Annie H´s last [type] ..living a life in moments

  30. Nicole says:

    thank you thank you thank you!!! A time and season for sure, you were one of the first "big" blogs I began to read nearly daily, such encouragemant always pointing to our Lord. blessing to you and your family on what ever path the Lord takes you. sincerely, Nicole
    Nicole´s last [type] ..Simplicity Is
    Nicole´s last [type] ..Simplicity Is

  31. Sisterlisa says:

    awww ((Sarah Mae)) I think we all go through spurts like that. Don't be too hard on yourself. God uses you and it's obvious by how many readers you have and the supportive compliments your friends/readers give you. Know you are loved dear. =)

    You have a successful blog and are super busy with planning this conference. You'll have time to rest after that. You've worked hard and the blessings simply came. If you need extra help with anything let us all know. We're here to support one another. Maybe accept submissions again so you can take a break from composing blog articles. :) Blog smart.
    Sisterlisa´s last [type] ..Bruschetta
    Sisterlisa´s last [type] ..Bruschetta

  32. Rhonda says:

    Yes, Sarah Mae~we have to come back to what's most important, don't we? Each of us has to stop and evaluate where we spend our time.

    A piece of advice I got from my dh when I was struggling to juggle everything was to give each "thing" I was doing so much time and not a minute more. So set a limit for your blogging endeavors and then stick to it. We can be so inclined to just dump everything when we get discouraged, but really the Lord wants us to live a life of self control and prioritizing our time. I was struck the other day while reading through Titus 1 & 2 how much Paul encouraged the believers to be self controlled.

    So, jump into the Word, talk with your husband and set up some guidelines and then live by them. A peaceful life to you:)

    Blessings,

    Rhonda
    Rhonda´s last [type] ..Interview with Voddie Baucham
    Rhonda´s last [type] ..Interview with Voddie Baucham

  33. Mary Brooke Baria says:

    Sarah Mae,

    I'm a wife and mother to 5, ages 8 and under. We are Chrisitians. I also love homeschooling.

    I really wanted to tell you how important your post of "UGly" is to me…to compare myself is robbing God of His Glory because I am beautifully made by him. I shared it with another Mom who I think needed it.

    God Bless you in your priorities. It is bittersweet to see each child's new age.

    Mary Brooke Baria in Atlanta

  34. Julie Goltermann says:

    Sarah Mae,

    Your blog has been a blessing to me and many others, I am sure. but reading this post, and being a mom of a 15 y/o, I would say to prayerfully consider going back to your first dream or "calling." Blogs and writing will always be there, those childhood days and years won't. With love, Julie

  35. Amanda says:

    I like how everyone is taking about balancing time… but if you are like me its easier said then done! I always say I will do everything else and then leave time for blogging but somehow I find myself blogging anyways even when there is a million other things to do.
    Amanda´s last [type] ..Share your story!
    Amanda´s last [type] ..Share your story!

  36. Hey girlie!!! I hear ya! I have two thoughts for you. 1. You need a bloggy vacation – do it! Take a week off – we'll all still be here when you get back :-) 2….oh…you already know what I am going to say before I say it – forgive me for saying it…but boy does my daily "schedule" help me keep a balance.

    Now I know you are not "wired" for a schedule…but making blocks of time in your day for the web and then shutting it down in between might free you? Or not – just two of my suggestions. I can't rave enough about how much my schedule helps me keep my first things first. Here's my link to this school years schedule:

    http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/2010…

    And I need to take my own advice on the first one – I am due a bloggy vacation…I just wrote one on the calendar! Maybe someday we could do a link up and encourage other bloggy friends to "take a bloggy vacation with us" lol!!!

    Love you girl! (muah)

    Courtney
    Courtney(WomenLiving´s last [type] ..The Winner of the Vintage Pearl Giveaway Is
    Courtney(WomenLiving´s last [type] ..The Winner of the Vintage Pearl Giveaway Is

  37. Keeping the blog in it's place is one of my big struggles. I never expected more than friends to read it.

    My 'rule' is to work on it only when the children are sleeping, but it's difficult when you have the 'obligations'. I say 'no' to a lot of potential obligations and try to constantly remind myself that my primary obligation is to the family that God has blessed me with.

    Praying that God will restore your dream, guide you to His priorities for your life and bless you with balance.
    Kimberly @ Raising O´s last [type] ..Savannah’s Surgery Update
    Kimberly @ Raising O´s last [type] ..Savannah’s Surgery Update

  38. Angelia in Tx says:

    I do not blog but I read them, I have read your blog since it was like a warm cup of coffee. I feel like it is a taste of joy, fun loving encouragement mixed with lovely wisdom. I read today in The Gospel of John and Jesus was talking about reaping that which I did not sow. I heard that speak to me because I gleen so much from other women as I long to do wonderful things here in my home where no one sees me but God. Then, Sometimes I hear Him say I need to do things the way He teaches me. I try to use what I learn from others but I know God will always teach me best. I am blessed as you share your journey. I am a first generation christian as you have mention about yourself so I find myself inspired by your walk and impressed with your sincere heart. smiles, Angelia in Tx

  39. Linds says:

    i have never been able to maintain a blog, so i admire how much you have done with LAWCOC.

    your blog has been an amazing resource for me, and challenged me a lot (in good ways!), and helped me grow through prayer on new things and ideas.

    a good long talk with God about your motivations for blogging and balance between ministry/family seems to be in order. and of course we will support you in whatever way God moves you – to God be the glory!

  40. Christina says:

    Oh Sarah…your honesty is SO refreshing…so real, I can feel your tug-of-war! May you regain sight of your original vision/hopes/desires…and SAVOUR.EVERY.MOMENT!

    ~blessings…

  41. Amanda says:

    Sarah Mae, I have to say, that of all the blogs I keep up with I appreciate yours the most. I feel like you are the most real and challenging. Thank you for being willing to open yourself up to a bunch of strangers. god will bless you for you boldness!

  42. God always has a way of anchoring ourselves back to Him and His purposes. Sometimes we find ourselves far from where we started and He blesses it and gives the strength to do it because it glorifies Him and other times we find ourselves far because we strayed away from the calling He planted us in. God knows the motives of our hearts and He will lead you back to the "home" and purpose of this community.

    And no matter which way the pendelum swings, we will be blessed.
    Melissa | Madabella:´s last [type] ..Preparing Hearts and Backpacks
    Melissa | Madabella:´s last [type] ..Preparing Hearts and Backpacks

  43. "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven"

    Eccl. 3:1

    Praying Gods wisdom for you as you consider what's His best for you in the season ahead.

    ~
    heidi @ wonder woman´s last [type] ..Draw Near
    heidi @ wonder woman´s last [type] ..Draw Near

  44. Reading with kids can be so rewarding. Writing a blog can be so rewarding. So much goodness in too little of a time frame. I feel your "blink of an eye" sentiment!

  45. Eileen says:

    I just recently came across your blog and I am loving it. I have to stop and read any blog that has the word coffee in its title :) I loved this post. I can so relate to having a little one who is growing up way to fast. My little boy will be 7 next month. It is flying by! I can so relate to the drive you talk of about needing to create. I had that same drive a couple years ago and began writing again. Creating has been such a blessing in my life. I went from not knowing what a blog actually was to blogging everyday! I love it. Thanks for sharing your story!

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    I'm Sarah Mae. I'm figuring out how to fit perfect into fallen skin. Stick around for the stretching...your soul is welcome here.

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