My daughter will be five years old next month.
All my life of dreamed of being a mother and all the wonderful adventures I’d have with my children. I dreamed of caring for a home of my own, drenching it in love, hospitality, and joy. When I worked at Barnes & Noble during college I would linger around the children’s section unpacking my future days with all the books and crafts and learning we would do together. I imagined pig tails bouncing up and down while picking pumpkins. Picnics with blankets and baskets, hours of reading books from the library, family outings…all these things occupied my mind while hope for the future swelled in my heart.
It is nearly five years since my first little one was laid in my arms; a sweet baby girl who had no idea about the plans I held deep within.
It has gone by so fast…
So fast in fact, that with other babies and cleaning and life I lost some of my dream and got caught up in another one. It started slowly, this budding drive in me to create. Instead, however, of creating the dreams I held for my family, I started creating something that seemed to fill the long and lonely toddler days.
I started to blog.
A little bit at first, with just a personal family blog. Then came Like a Warm Cup of Coffee. Then came affirmation. Then came money. Then came pseudo popularity. Then came addiction. Then came more and more and more….
Then came obligation.
Now I’m a little sad, and a little lost…and I miss my original dream.