Desperate For Their Hearts (M.O.M)
“To have significant energy for the task, we must make the choice to embrace motherhood wholeheartedly.”
I am desperate for my children’s hearts.
There is nothing I want more for my children then for them to know Jesus and walk in the truth…nothing. So if I have to give my life – my time, desires, energy – to get a hold of their hearts, I’m going to do it. It is a battle because I am selfish and crawling with flesh, but I’m not giving up.
Chapter four of The Mission of Motherhood was so significant for me…so convicting…such perfect timing as God has been laying on my heart the truth of eternity and time. Here are some passages that spoke directly to my spirit (I found myself underlining like crazy in this chapter!):
“But it’s the way I respond to my children in everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts.”
“Not only had he [Jesus] told them [His disciples] that whoever wanted to be first must be a servant to all, but he had also shown them personally what servant leadership was all about.”
*A note on obedience that really struck me – Sally talked about how Jesus modeled obedience and right behavior and good character and how that is the most effective way to reach our children. I don’t model these things very well when it comes to obeying my husband. I argue to much, smile too little, throw out eye rolls and sarcasm way too often. Somehow my husband gets tossed aside as though he can deal with himself while I focus on the babes. How sad and so far from the truth! My husband needs me; I complete him. I need to love him, be kind to him, and give him my firsts. I know, this is a “duh” thing, but something I still struggle with.
“When we choose to graciously overlook our children’s messes and accidents we are teaching them to be patient and forgiving with the mistakes of others.”
“I have already made a decision to make myself available in the routine tasks and myriad interruptions of daily life because I believe it is God’s will for me to serve my family through them. Making this choice ahead of time means I will expect problems and needs to arise and be ready to deal with them in peace instead of impatience and resentment.”
“…the future is not where real life began. Each day was God’s perfect will for me.”
“Children, by definition, take up our time. They’re supposed to do that; it’s the way God made them.”
“I was called to give up my rights simply out of my love for Jesus.”
The Challenge I’m Taking
Make a list of some things your children like you to do with them but aren’t necessarily fun for you…Commit to saying yes to their requests instead of no, knowing that if you invest in what is important to them, they will be open to believing in what is important to you.
How are you reaching your children’s hearts?
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Thanks for sharing. I needed it and especially the challenge part at the end. I know why I started a Mom's Breakfast. That book is my reminder to keep going and for doing all for the glory of the Lord.
JUST what I needed today!!! I found myself crying in a grocery store parking lot last night, eating a McFlurry, because I "was going crazy with these kids all day!"
Sarah Mae, so many of the quotes from this chapter that you highlighted above were things that I underlined as well. It probably would have been easier for me to underline the things that didn't stick out to me in this chapter. :) Here are a couple more:
"I made a decision in my heart years ago, as I began to understand this principle, that God did not want me to resent my children to taking up my time. Neither did he want me to make them feel guilty for the sacrifices I had made on their behalf. I was called to give up my rights simply out of my love for Jesus. If I have had struggles and complaints over the years for these issues in my own life, they have been between me and the Lord, not between me and my children."
I love how Sally mentioned that these struggles still existed sometimes, but she went directly to the Lord with these frustrations and struggles, rather than letting loose on her children. My desire is that when my flesh pushes against the desires that I have as a mother and the desire I have for my children, that these things would drive me to my knees and to the Word.
"This is one of the best ways I can be a servant leader to my children. When I model patience in the midst of difficulty, joy in the midst of messes, contentment in the midst of lack, then I provide them a pattern for their own lives. They will learn that my joy is not my circumstantial but real because I have an endless source of strength through the power of the Holy Spirit in my life."
I, too, desperately want my children to know the Lord and to love Him with all of their hearts and minds. I pray the the Lord will equip me to show them what it means to yield to each other and to yield to the Lord, to have compassion for those around and to have a heart for others.
Thank you for the encouragement. It is such a blessing to be able to connect with like-minded women concerning mothering.
Jennifer´s last [type] ..The Servant Mother
Jennifer´s last [type] ..The Servant Mother
What an honor it is to have Sarah Mae going through Mission of Motherhood on her blog. I have loved reviewing your comments and thoughts. Even now, with my children 26, 24, 21 and 15, I am learning some of the same things that she is writing about over and over. I have all of my children home right now, and again, I am practicing giving up "my" time, my life, serving them. But it is such a great pay-off that they want me to speak into their adult lives over big issues. May God give you grace to be those who will indeed civilize your world by building godly, life-giving children in your home who will indeed become adults who bring righteousness to their world when they are adults. Blessings upon blessings to all of you today–and especially to Sarah Mae for being such a channel of grace and encouragement.
I really appreciate the part about being an example by how you treat your husband. Convicting.
Useful thoughts for grandmothers too! My youngest daughter and my 2-year0old granddaughter are going to be living with us while my SIL deploys to Afghanistan soon. They live in South Carolina and we live in California, so it is too far away for a young mother and 2 year old to live alone.
It is a real challenge for me to know when to keep my mouth shut, but I have been praying about this after a few "confrontations" with my youngest daughter. Yesterday was her birthday, but we are celebrating today, so I am up early to make the cake she requested before my other committments this morning.
Thank you for the timely post!
Cheryl B.´s last [type] ..Tuesday Garden Party
Cheryl B.´s last [type] ..Tuesday Garden Party
I am humbled by how much I didn't 'know' about motherhood, how I let the busyness of my life… the times I am filled with self-pity over my situations affect my children…the selfishness of me… what a privilege to be a mother…to be given this most wonderful assignment by God. I am thankful to the Lord for his patience with me and for this book…for Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae…. and for this opportunity to learn and share.
Mary Beth´s last [type] ..Kids Toy Metal Shopping Cart
Mary Beth´s last [type] ..Kids Toy Metal Shopping Cart
What a great post. I really needed to read these words today.
Stacy´s last [type] ..Wide-open spaces
Stacy´s last [type] ..Wide-open spaces
I feel ya with the having a hard time of putting the hubs before the kiddos. I really struggle with that and like you feel like I argue too much and roll my eyes.
I am currently reading The Power of a Positive Mom and when I am done with it I am going to read The Mission of Motherhood. I just purchased it yesterday and am looking forward to it!
I asked my daughter (who is 10) what she wanted most of all when she grows up … her answer, "To be married to someone who loves me like you and Daddy love each other." Somehow, in the midst of all my foibles and foul-ups … she has seen one thing clearly in this mess of a house we live in: We love each other! And from that lesson comes the opportunity to teach countless other ones about why we love and WHOM we love most of all. Those wee little eyes are watching and those sweet tender ears are listening … I ask myself daily is she seeing & hearing Jesus in me? Far too often I fear she is not … but daily, minute-by-minute, THAT is where I'm headed. Purposefully, intentionally and with SUCH an awareness that it will only be THROUGH Christ in me that she can ever see anything of value.
Great post, my friend!
TeriLynneU´s last [type] ..Plans of God part 2
TeriLynneU´s last [type] ..Plans of God part 2
Wow. I NEED to read this book!
Marcy´s last [type] ..End of summer clearance bargains!!
Marcy´s last [type] ..End of summer clearance bargains!!
This is so rich, and wonderful. Oh yes, convicting too, but there is such beauty in that too. Thanks for this.
"Children, by definition, take up our time. They’re supposed to do that; it’s the way God made them" That's the best quote ever. Period. Reason alone to read this blog! Thanks for this today!
Erika´s last [type] ..Books- books- books!
Erika´s last [type] ..Books- books- books!
I SO needed this today. Thank you, thank you, thank you. : )
Laura Will´s last [type] ..Peter Rabbit Nursery
Laura Will´s last [type] ..Peter Rabbit Nursery
I loved this chapter… I really hear this loud call yet sometimes I stand dumb struck with how to do all this and I know the answer is thru Christ and in Him. I am MOST greatful for this, I know withour Him I CAN DO NOTHING. I can not do any of this myself. I cried at the note that Joel put in her luggage. I cried because of the beautiful words but most of all because my youngest son's name is Joel and he has autism and yet in his face, simple words and actions I see him speaking those words to me in his own sweet and tender way. This book is full of rich information. It is good Christ-centerd wisdom and encouragement.
smiles, Angelia in TX
Um…I need this book. That is all. : )
Seriously…my husband and I were just having a heart wrenching conversation about how we don't model Jesus to our Kiddo, but expect him to act like Him anyway. I sat with my jaw dropped as I read this post, knowing I had just come from a conversation about this very subject. Think the Lord is trying to tell me something?
Chapter 4 is all about the Servant Mother. The most powerful part for me was the connection in the first pages to Jesus washing his disciples' feet (and that his relationship to the disciples is a model for us as mothers). Then later to see Sarah Clarkson had refreshed her mom by cleaning and organizing her mom's room. The daughter's note on the bed, "You have served us so generously… I wanted to serve you and help you…" WOW. This is absolutely revealing to see that our attitudes and actions will make an extreme impact on today's toddlers as they transform into teenagers!
Page 72: "When we are joyful and see each minute with our children as an opportunity to worship God through our service of him, our children sense our joy and feel secure and happy."
I return to teaching next week after having a summer "off". It has been really different for me, being home full-time with my kids. No classes to take. No commitments. I have been able to see my areas of resentment. My habits and attitudes about the home. God has worked in amazing ways to help me understand his will in training up and loving my children. This book has been powerful in that journey of choosing to be a purposeful mother.
I just recently started following your blog and can't even remember how I found it, but it is my FAVORITE! Each of your posts is such an encouragement to me as a new young mom trying to live for the Lord but struggling w/ selfish, sinful feelings. I had never heard of the book Mission to Motherhood and have just ordered from Amazon and look forward to going thru it at the same time and reading your posts. May the Lord bless you for your encouragement to me!
Wow – this is such a good post, Sarah Mae! Thank you for sharing the quotations – and oh how they spoke to me. This book is on my wish list, and I think it's moved up a couple of notches.
I can so relate to your struggle with your husband – I'm the same way and it really is sad. It's so easy for me to respond with a "You're an adult – do it yourself" attitude (without saying those words) and it's really convicting to me, too…
Debbie´s last [type] ..All About Kindergarten
Debbie´s last [type] ..All About Kindergarten
I just love Sally! And these words are good reminders to a worn out mama like me today! Thanks for sharing your inspiration to the book. I have read and LOVEd Ministry of Motherhood – so changed my life!
Counting the days to Relevant 10! When I get to meet both you and Sally!
Stacey´s last [type] ..Multitude Monday
Stacey´s last [type] ..Multitude Monday