Segregation
July 27th, 2010
Something to think about…
Segregation from NCFIC on Vimeo.
What are your thoughts on the current state of Youth Ministry in the church?
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@ Sarah–
Thanks for pointing that out. :) You’re right, I should avoid sweeping statements. It would be more accurate for me to say, “In my personal experience, many youth leaders I met and worked with feared that if the responsibility of youth ministry was left to the parents, nothing would happen.” I wasn’t saying that the leaders did not desire for the parents to be different, they just did not have faith that change could/would happen. I don’t see that viewpoint as a major flaw in the leader, just a symptom of an imperfect system.
I felt the same way when I worked in youth ministry because, as Jonathan mentioned, there are many “Christian” parents in our churches who would prefer to outsource this responsibility. My personal experience was one in which the youth ministry subtly usurped parental authority and parents willingly relinquished it. And when kids struggled, the parents pointed fingers at the youth department for not loving enough, teaching enough, noticing struggles, etc. It was a very broken system that pitted ministers and parents against one another, and I don’t think my experience is isolated.
I do not think that youth leaders have a bad motive whatsoever. They are often some of the most giving and serving people I know. I just think ministers and parents both need to have a paradigm shift together about how the balance of responsibility should play out. My dream is for parents to see youth ministers as a resource and an ally (which is what I believe most youth ministers desire to be) as the parents fulfill their God-given call to train and teach their children. I also dream of youth leaders being “retired” parents rather than strictly childless 20-somethings… :) We’ll see!
P.S. I think it would be a smarter investment of resources if churches scaled back their youth group ministry and really pushed “parent/family ministry”! Eric makes some great points about how many parents, especially 1st gen Christians, may not even know where to begin teaching and training their children. How awesome would it be if young parents could be mentored & taught on a regular basis by seasoned parents, starting when the kids are babies? By the time the children became teenagers, the youth ministers would have an EASY PEASY job, and I think everyone, both leaders and young people would have more time and energy to focus on serving the community and reaching the lost– being Christ to the world!
Sorry, that was supposed to say “Erin” not “Eric!
We belong to a large church with a very large and active youth ministry that graduates many of its students into the “adult service”. Youth ministry gives students and teens a wonderful way to meet peers that are like minded. One of the keys that I have seen youth ministries that transition their students to active adult members is to involve them in serving the church, their church. Give them a place to belong outside of the youth ministry room. Plug them in where they can meet people and come under the mentorship of the church. Young adults are more nervous about where they belong then a middle school student. Integrate them, integrate the youth ministry into the church. Mentor…. don’t just minister. Be hands on with opening up various groups within the church to youth internships. Having said all that, we attend two services. We worship with our children in one service then while they go to their age appropriate service, we serve. In our family they see the modeling of servanthood, which is what we are called to.
Reborn,
Thanks for clarifying. I completely agree with all of that! Church ministries should be exactly that- a RESOURCE (I liked that word you used). My husband is a Children’s Pastor and his philosophy is to make church fun, engaging, and substantial for kids, but mostly to help parents take the reigns of their children’s spiritual development. He points out that the ministry gets *maybe* 40 hours per year with a kid, but their parents get thousands! Not to mention the fact that no one can have the enormous impact that a parent can! I totally agree that the stats call for a shift in thinking, but I’m not sure it means doing away with youth groups, etc altogether. But, if God wants to change my heart on that, He’s welcome to.
And, it’s interesting how all our experiences shape our view of this (and everything else).
I’m late to this party, but…
I was a youth minister in a large church with a bells and whistles youth ministry. 10 years later, I can say that our kids went their own way. We were a conservative ministry, teaching supremecy of Christ and scripture. Nonetheless, we lost the kids. I’m not sure if it was the result of age-segregation or our attempt to reach the kids by being *the cool ministry* in town.
A few years later, I watched a small youth group in an upstart and predominantly family oriented church of less than 200. The youth minister was on his way to the mission field and was not seen as hip or cool. For the most part, he taught them scripture and service. He worked to keep the families in unity and serving together. Most of those youth have graduated now, and are solid believers. Many are headed toward leadership positions within the church. That church has grown quickly and as it has, I wondered whether the lack of intimacy would affect the next group of the youth. Although the jury is still out, I see us making many of the same mistakes that were made when I was a youth minister.
I’m afraid that pop-Christianity is more influential and less sustaining than many of us would like to admit.
1 John 2:19 “They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.”
Youth are leaving the church because they never had a relationship with God in the first place. The answer here isn’t criticizing programs or methods, it’s understanding that attendance does not equal salvation. Jesus commanded us to make disciples. So my question for anyone who has issues with youth ministry programs–what are YOU going to do to change this? What teen(s) in your life are YOU going to disciple (meet with, pray for and with, study Scripture with, do life with, invest in, etc.). Don’t criticize a system unless you’re willing to do YOUR part to be the change.
If you notice a young adult that hasn’t come to church since he/she graduated from high school, ask them about it! Ask them if they ever surrendered their life over to Jesus. Ask them if there’s anything you can be praying for them about. Ask them if they’d like to meet once a month for coffee.
It’s so easy for teens to be overlooked. They seem to have it all together, but inside they are desperate for love and acceptance. If the leaders in your church don’t allow teens to worship with adults, don’t let that stop YOU from reaching out to the teens on your own time!
If you recall Jesus’ parable of the sower in Matthew 13 he talked about someone preaching the word and there were 4 camps of people who were listening. Out of those 4 groups, how many truly ended up being saved? ONLY ONE! Was Jesus’ method of preaching and doing ministry the problem? NO! It was people’s hearts!
Yes, I do think we need to look at youth ministry biblically. One aspect our church is very committed to is small groups. We encourage every person ages 12-120 to be involved in a small group. It’s so easy to show up for church and fall between the cracks and have no accountability. GET PLUGGED IN! Serve in the church! Pray with other believers about what’s going on in your life. Study the Word together and challenge each other in your walk with God.
I think the problem isn’t primarily segregation (though there is some problems there), but primarily that we aren’t equipping our students but entertaining them. If we don’t change the focus of student ministries, they will continue to leave the church as irrelevant, because from everything they’ve seen church IS irrelevant.
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I totally agree with the age segregated issue! I grew up in a youth group and am watching my younger siblings grow up in that youth group and am blessed and encouraged to see them reaching out beyond their age group. Our youth group is made up of young ppl between the ages of 14 to 25ish. I appreciate the way they participate in in the church family by ministering to the widows and the childrens sunday school on a regular basis. We do not have a Youth group sunday school class but they have sunday school with the adults. No the majority are not homeschoolers but young ppl from religious homes but not Christian homes. Yes there is foolishness sometimes, but whats inside will come out ppl will always seek out ppl they want to be like for the good and for the bad. I guess what i have grown up with is very rare but I wish all youth groups could be kinda what I grew up with.
I believe that this is because in this last decade of “youth ministry” of which I was a part sadly, I have seen so many youth groups as well as families believe that in order to get youth to participate was to “entertain” them. INstead of discipling them in the Lord, as my family and my youth ministry did for me, teaching me from GOd’s word how to stand in my faith, they are entertaining them with bands and fancy presentations. I’ve seen it too much and it is sad.
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Amazingly great point about programatic ministry in the church, especially for youth ministry. There is this huge drive for entertainment and worldly focuses in ministry, but what rock is that to develop any ministry on? Jesus through the Word of God needs to be focus, the center, the drive, the reason, the purpose, the why, the point. Any point we make worldly, human items the call or focus of what we do, how can we not expect a weak base for people’s lives and choices? Thank you for sharing this with me.
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