A "Stay-at-Home" Daughter Responds to "What is a girl supposed to do before she gets married? Etc."
I wanted to comment because, reading the comment section, I saw a lot of questions about what a daughter would do during those “in-between” years: once she has graduated high school, what if she doesn’t automatically get married by the time she’s eighteen or twenty? What if she doesn’t get married until she’s twenty-nine or thirty-two? What if she doesn’t get married at all? Wouldn’t those homemaking skills go to waste?
I am twenty, and I’m what some would call a “stay-at-home daughter” I have chosen to live at home under the covering of my family until marriage, so I kind of “specialize” in answering the “what can a girl do in between?” question. I am a junior in an online college program. I am an aspiring author who just signed her first publishing contract last month. I am finished with the first draft of my first book and working on my second. I ran my dad’s online store (he is a pastor/evangelist/author) from sixteen to nineteen, and by the time we outsourced, I was taking care of 100 orders a week. After I have my B.A., I would love to start working on an English curriculum to tutor homeschoolers in my area.
And, most importantly, I have a family to serve -five brothers, four of whom are five and under -homeschool lessons to help with (I teach my three-year-old brother while Mama teaches my five-year-old brother), meal-plans to write up, laundry to keep going… I am my mom’s helper, and I’m loving the on-the-job training. I don’t assume that I will be married someday -the ratio of women to men in American is 2 to 1, and, as a black woman, I know that 46% of women of my particular ethnicity will never get married. But I trust that, if it’s God’s will to send me a husband, it only takes one man to come along. :) If not, I have a full life -I could ask for nothing more than the opportunities the Lord has opened up for me here.
I don’t want to write a second article in the comment section here, but I just wanted to offer my perspective as one of these “homemaker in training” daughters. If I don’t get married for ten years -if I never get married -I plan on continuing to develop those Proverbs 31 skills to bless my family, church, and community. If I have a homeward focus during singleness, and end up remaining single, I have lost nothing -I have gained practical skills that have helped me to have a full life at home doing what I love with the people I love! If I spend my time only investing in those passions that have nothing to do with my home and end up married, I have lost much time of preparation.
At least, that’s how I look at it. ;)
-Jasmine Baucham, Joyfully at Home
Oh wow, I actually have tears in my eyes reading your words.
Our baby girl is only 1 {with 2 older brothers} and we have begun talking about our desires for her future. Reading your words just made my heart skip a beat.
Thank you for sharing, and Sarah Mae-for posting her reply publicly, it is beautiful!!!!
.-= Carisa´s last blog post … Thank You ~ May 2010 =-.
Sarah Mae,
Thank you for highlighting Jasmine's comment (and her blog)! I have been reading her blog for several months now, and I so appreciate her heart for her family. I saw her comment on your previous post, and as she brings a very unique point of view to this topic, I was hoping that others would have a chance to see it. :)
And, I am raising a little homemaker myself, so I am very excited about your new site! :)
~Veronica
.-= Veronica @ A Quiet Heart´s last blog post … More =-.
Jasmine inspires me to the max! I've read a few of her blog posts and oh wow!
I'm thankful that her family; primarily from her father's teaching, has shown us a model that with God's leading is achievable.
Jasmine…you rawk!!
.-= Kela´s last blog post … Caffeinated Randomness: This, That, and the Other =-.
You are a Godly young woman. I know your mom is proud of you because I sure am and I don't even know you! What a light you are in a sometimes dark world!
Just beautiful!! Very well said. I have 3 daughters and 2 sons and I pray they follow God's leading as well!!!
I love this. It's a completely new idea to me, and I wish it would have been an opportunity for me when I was younger. As a child of divorced parents, my mom has always been firmly set in the "me generation" mindset. I'm not sure she ever really wanted to be a mom (I & one of my sisters were surprise babies), and I learned very little about keeping a home and raising children with a kind heart and a mind toward God.
The thing I did learn from my mom was that a woman is measured by what she does in life IN SPITE of her family. A woman should never allow a husband and children to hold her back from what she wants to accomplish, and anything done inside the home is a meaningless chore to be hated (& often completely ignored).
Of course, now that I myself am a wife and mom of two, I don't believe any of that… but I can't turn back the clock on my own life. I'm really thankful that Jasmine & other young women like her are out there, showing today's young women that they do have a choice, and that homemaking and child raising are the most worthy endeavors a woman can set her heart to.
.-= Kelly´s last blog post … On Your Mark… =-.
wo what a brilliant post. may the lord bless you in all you endevors xxx
Beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing your perspective, Jasmine.
And thank you Sarah Mae for putting it up for us all to see.
As a matter of fact, this entire topic sparked a discussion between my husband and I last night. Something we hadn't really discussed before and it was good to clarify each other's stance on this issue. I think Jasmine has laid out a beautiful plan here for those of us in the dark about what could or should happen.
Again, thank you!
Very well said, Jasmine!
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Sarah Mae,
Ever since I read the first entry about the "raising homemakers" concept I've been very undecided as to whether I should even comment…but nonetheless I feel like I should. I'm not commenting to oppose anything, just to bring up some other points- or maybe another "way it can be done". I'm 26, my mother was a homemaker- and an amazing one at that. When I graduated from high school I went to college and earned a Liberal Arts degree. I loved college- and being on my own in college taught me a lot of things I never would have learned staying at home. I know work in the city that I went to college in. I live in a house with another single girl who is working and in school. Growing up, I learned all about homemaking. My mother taught me the skills I would need to be a great wife and mother. My mother also encouraged me to go to college because as she likes to say "i'm the smartest of her kids" (I still maintain that my older bro is smarter but whatever). My mother had 5 kids- and I'm the youngest. I currently have 8 nieces and nephews- and when I go home to hang out with my parents and family that live there I am very much so one of their caregivers. But I have a job and a life here and I don't think I went the wrong route at all. I could get married and have kids and stay home and raise them and then maybe one day come back to a job like the one I'm doing now. I know this is kind of rambling- but I just wanted to point out that children can be raised to be homemakers and still go to college and get jobs and live by themselves away from their parents. My roommate and I cook dinner and we have people over. We are also both in ministry with high school kids- so we have them over to- and try to show them that you can be young and not crazy and party all the time. No offense, but if I lived with my parents, I doubt my high school kids would be chomping at the bit to come hang out at my parents house. I don't know why I'm bringing all this up- I just don't want someone reading this blog to be in a situation like me and feel like they're not doing what God wants them to…because I know I'm where God placed me…
Nevertheless, I love reading this blog and I think you're doing a great thing- just wanted to point out that I dont think its the only way.
I, too, have tears in my eyes as I read this. Such a foreign concept to me, I was literally kicked out of the home at the age of 18 by my Mother. I was left to completely fend for myself, and ended up moving in with a verbally abusive boyfriend.
Years later, I am healed by the grace of God and married to a Godly man. Now raising 2 daughters of my own, I am determined to raise them as Kingdom-minded homemakers. But it is only through examples like Jasmine's that I even know where to begin. I am now so convicted of my calling as a keeper of the home. I really appreciate this fresh perspective. Thank you, Jasmine and Sarah Mae!
I lead a ladies' book club and we are currently reading "Passionate Housewives Desperate for God" so the topic actually came up in conversation yesterday at the meeting about what daughters would do when they turn 18 and/or after they graduate. I get some funny looks even within the Christian community. Our family believes that Erin, our daughter, should live under her father's protection and my guidance until she is married. I have very open and frank conversations with Erin, who is 13, about her biblical role in life. She doesn't have to do what society believes she should do-in fact she shouldn't do that. She should do what God commands and wills for her life! Thanks Jasmine for sharing. It's the lives of girls like you that I enjoy sharing with my daughter.
Wow! Very great perspective!!!!
.-= Kelly´s last blog post … Caffeinated Randomness: First Bites =-.
What a great post! I've been living by myself for 7 years, with the exception of the 8 months my husband I were married before he died. I loved being a wife, for even that short time. And, I love "practicing" to be a wife again someday. I think about that a lot. I love trying out recipes, working at keeping my house clean and orderly, doing all kinds of DIY projects, learning how to manage my money, etc. I see my "singlehood" and my "widowhood" as time to sharpen those skills.
Kudos to you Jasmine! :-)
.-= Jess´s last blog post … Spotted in my yard… =-.
So women should be homemakers to raise children who are to become homemakers?
I'm sorry, to each her own, but I've met a lot of women who make this desicion (and usually homeschool as well) and the thing that strikes me is how afraid they seem to be of the outside world.
I was raised by a working mother and the women of my family all worked outside of the home as well. They all went to traditional colleges and were, every one of them, fantastic homemakers and cooks. I never felt neglected by my mother even though she had a job. If anything, she taught me that women are blessed because we can do so much for many and then some! I don't think that women lose anything by going that route. There are always extremes on both sides. How many sahm's smother their kids and drive them away that way? I know of more than a few. The key is to have your priorities straight no matter what you do and not use your family as a crutch because you are uncomfortable in the real world. It's hard to spread the word of God's love from behind closed doors. And my last point is that with all these "future homemakers", how many of their parents have considered that they could be raising the next great medical or legal mind of their generation? Teacher? Architect? Judge? President?Don't these girls deserve the opportunity to at least find out?
(I'm fully aware of how unpopular my opinion will be- but whatever).
Nicole, it isn't about fear, it is about finding ourselves in the will of God…the women who are raising homemakers believe that God has a beautiful calling for women to support her husband, manage a home well, and raise up her children side-by-side. We don't hide from the outside world, we seek to prepare ourselves to honor God with our lives and then to go out and serve our communities (or the world) with our families or husbands. We don't cower in fear, we go forth in love and obedience.
It really comes down to this (for Christians): what does the Lord say? We read the scriptures and we study and we pray and then we live out of what we have been convicted of. We don't make our decision based on what our families did, or our friends, or even on our own feelings, leanings, etc. We make our decisions based on what God's Word says; His Word is our standard.
You may have studied the scripture, prayed over this subject, and sought Godly counsel and come to a different conviction – okay – to God be the glory!
:)
I would like to respond to a point in Michelle's comment, regarding "fear of the outside world" and "using your family as a crutch."
Speaking from personal experience, I believe that the woman who chooses to stay home, whether that be stay at home daughters or the stay at home mother (and the home schooling mother as well!), is actually an extremely COURAGEOUS woman.
The snide comments and disrespect these women face, sometimes every single day, from family, friends, church leaders, and the community at large is not is to easy to live with.
It takes a woman of strength and courage to follow what the Bible says (women should be busy at home, raising their children, loving and submitting to their husbands) when it causes her life to run exactly opposite to what the majority of the culture is doing.
Jasmine,
I could identify with so much of what you had to say today. I lived at home after graduating from home school, until I was 23. In our home we didn't exactly have a plan beyond that for me to stay. I went to Bible college and was out of the nest from that point on. But while I was there, I managed the grocery budget, cooked the family meals, cleaned on a weekly schedule and even helped with my high-school-aged brother's curriculum. It was totally valuable experience.
I thought I would find a godly husband while in college – but in my case, it didn't happen until I was 33. It was a terribly long and lonely wait living on my own or with roommates. I dove into work, but it was all plan B. I can see how living with family even for such a long haul could be better.
My marriage and children are mixed: my husband is black, I'm white. And I have to say I read your stats with an exclamation point! If it's any encouragement, my observation of black culture at least here in the Bay Area, has shown me that the young women tend to behave towards men in such a way as not to come out with a marriage – on so many levels. Living a Biblical lifestyle I'm POSITIVE gives you much, much better than a 50/50 "chance."
That said, I know none of us gets a guarantee. Thankfully, the Lord promises He will use all things for good … and He does. :-) My single years were not useless. The Lord used them to deepen my understanding of His word and to conform my heart all the more to it – in ways that might never have happened if I'd married sooner.
.-= Jo Smith´s last blog post … Infant Portraits =-.
Very well said. Sarah Mae, Jasmine, thanks for speaking the truth. You do it well, and it's not easy!
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Voddie did a conference at our church last year. I heart the Baucham Family. So much to learn from them…so much widsom…yep, I heart them.
.-= Kat´s last blog post … Fep's Feathers…. =-.
I have three girls. I lead by example of a sahm. However, I'm not intentionally raising them to be homemakers. I am doing my best to equip them in life, regardless of where life may take them. I teach them to cook, clean, play musical instruments, garden, etc. I also teach them to go with their heart—to really pray on it and seek God's face and do as He would have them do. If they become working women, that's okay. So long as their families are not neglected. If they neglect their families, then I have not taught them well.
However, if I were to intentionally raise my daughters to be homemakers, I certainly wouldn't tell them. That would be like telling them that they either can't or shouldn't do what they may want to do deep down.
And, to possibly step on toes, I think that many sahms in this day are doing their family a disservice with getting caught up in social media, or surfing the web (guilty here!), or maybe watching too much TV. Just because Mom is at home doesn't necessarily mean she's "there". But that's a bit of a rabbit trail.
This is a topic that needs to be addressed in that girls are not being equipped for staying at home, should they choose to. They do need to be our shadows in the kitchen. They should be shown how to sew, crochet, etc. But the most important thing they need to learn is not something that can be taught—-it's something they have to be shown, and that is love. Love our husbands. Love our children. Love our church and church family. It is by our own actions that they will learn most.
Just my .02.
love love love it!!!! And serving your family is a good thing as good as being married and raising your own family :-)
.-= Renee´s last blog post … To market to market =-.
This is an absolutely precious read as I sit here and snuggle our third baby and our first daughter.
Thank you for sharing!!
I am not afraid of the outside world. I was raised by a sahm-then-working mother, who was raised by a working mother, who was raised by a sahm. Not one of them went to college. they were all good homemakers/cooks. I noticed a change in our family once my mom went to work. My mother felt somewhat neglected by her mother. Women are so blessed because they can do so much for so many. But should we do so much, just because we can. At some point,something will suffer with such “full plates”. I think women lose their God-given place as home managers when they leave the home. There are extremes on both sides. Sometimes we need to be extreme. Jesus was extreme. I don’t know many sahms that smother and then drive away their kids. I think that is a misconception, much like the stereotype of “pastor’s kids”. I line my priorites up with God’s word. I do not use my family as a crutch to stay out of the real world. It doesn’t get more real than a day in my life. I spread the word of God’s love to seven people every day, all day. If God intended for my husband to raise the next great medical/legal mind of their generation…teacher, architect, judge, president…Then that is what they will be.
.-= Kathi´s last blog post … A Few Things, and Five Friday Finds =-.
Jasmine! Your testimony is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You are going to be a gem to the man who marries you! I can't wait till your book is published!
Much Love,
Courtney http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com
.-= Courtney (WomenLivingWell)´s last blog post … Book Review: ReChurch by Stephen Mansfield =-.
Well said. I know I am definitely inspired by reading that. I have 2 boys and 2 girls. Doing my best to train them right. Thank you for sharing.
.-= Joy Ellis´s last blog post … How Does Your Garden Grow? =-.
Wow! What a special young woman! Going to follow her blog now!
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Wow, what a wonderful post. I too am raising two girls, ages 3.5 an 23 months and I hope that one day they too will become “homemakers”. I did work out of the home when first married until after my first daughter was born…went back when she was 9 months until I had her little sister….I just could not imagine not seeing my children during the day and being apart of their day, so made the choice to be at home. Yes, I still work as I own a home daycare but I am with my girls day in and day out and I love it, and would not have it any other way. It is the hardest job I have ever had! But after being told I would probably never have children and surviving cancer, I am being obedient to God’s Word and becoming the homemaker I am to be! I can’t wait to raise my girls to be the same! That said, if they want to have an education, I am all for that as well!
.-= Shirley´s last blog post … Fun Follow Friday! =-.
Amen, Jasmine! Life at home with my family has given me such joy and opportunity to serve the people I love most, and I am able to devote my time to the most important things God has for me to grow in. I am so thankful that He has provided instructions in His infallible and sufficient Word for the most fulfilling life a woman can have. I eagerly anticipate the lessons He has for me, whether in my father's house or beside a husband.
The world really is watching how we obey our Lord. And they can see the way we live out the truth because we live in the real world and don't always remain inside four walls. (We're not mushrooms!) And it is one of my greatest desires to one day be a mother and raise my children to be mighty, godly men and women who joyfully flourish within the roles Gods has for them.
Thank you, dear Jasmine, for the reminder!
-Breezy
.-= Breezy´s last blog post … Raising Homemakers =-.
This is beautiful and how great that you know you are on God's path for your life and are trusting Him with everything.
Thank you for this very insightful article. My 17 year old daughter wants to stay at home but also continue her education and help with her 6 younger siblings. This was a real blessing.
Mom to ten
B-L-O-W-N Away at this article! This is exactly the reason for this blog…don’t you think?! Thanks Jasmine!!
I had a friend in high school who's parents thought she should live with them until she was married. We all felt sorry for her, including me. Now, I wish I had been raised that way! I thank God He is showing me the truth before my girls are grown!
I am so glad you shared this, I think it's incredibly beautiful and I can think of nothing I'd like more than for my daughters to say the same thing some day.
Bless you :)
.-= Angela @ Homegrown Mom´s last blog post … To Those of You Who’ve Asked =-.
Amy – You said, "I just wanted to point out that children can be raised to be homemakers and still go to college and get jobs and live by themselves away from their parents." I do agree, but I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive. I think it's great that you work with high school kids. I know if I had stayed at home instead of going to college, my mother (a working mom) would have made me crazy. I loved going to college, and I value the experience. But I also love being a homemaker. I hope my three girls are able to go to a good college and also choose whether they would like to be homemakers if/when they marry.
Nicole – "So women should be homemakers to raise children who are to become homemakers?" Sure. Why not? It's not about fear; it's about priorities. I teach my kids what I know. They ultimately make their own choices, but I can teach them what I think is important, as any parent should.
I do happen to homeschool, but it wasn't really planned. My oldest was working a few years ahead of her grade level before starting school, and the local district wouldn't let her start in a different grade than her age dictated and refused to test, so we chose to homeschool. She has plenty of outside exposure and socialization opportunities.
So while I have them here, why not teach them the tricks of my trade? The face is that sahms have a unique opportunity to be more invovled in their kids' lives. If being a homemaker is valid choice — and I believe it is — then what's wrong with teaching my daughters how to do it, especially since my mom didn't teach me so many things and I had to work hard to learn those things. Why not give them an advantage. To me, the answer is clear. Just my 2 cents.
jasmine, you give me hope for the future.
a young woman given to her family? at
20? not out partying and looking for guys?
amazing.
your will certainly become a proverbs 31
woman before the rest of us does.
.-= lea Helmerich´s last blog post … little boys =-.
A wonderful and frank account from Jasmine, thank you for sharing this with us Sarah Mae, it certainly has got me thinking about the type of mother I am and what my vision is for my daughter.
Collette x
Thanks for sharing this with us, Sarah Mae and Jasmine. This speaks to me, as a 28 year old single woman who has chosen to remain living at home. Most people don't understand it, and think I'm strange, or afraid of living alone, or even immature. Even many Christians believe this. However, I am persuaded that this is what the Lord has for me, and I am thankful to have parents who allow me to live at home. I work full time at a hospital, and pay my own bills, and am mostly independent. I also help with many chores at home, as I have done since I was young. I enjoy being around my family, and living under the shelter of our home is a blessing to me.
Simply, you’re awesome.
Beautiful!!!
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Wow! Such an amazing and foreign way of thinking for our society today! I admire your commitment to your family, Jasmine, and Sarah Mae, I so admire your heart for helping us all raise homemakers and godly women!
.-= Mandy´s last blog post … Fill My Cup =-.
I read the previous post and commented, telling myself to just let this whole issue go. I read this more recent post yesterday and withheld commenting because I felt if I was going to comment I should do so with the right attitude.
Let me first say, I respect wholeheartedly, every woman who feels that God has called them to stay at home and be homemakers…and even further to raise homemakers. I respect this young woman’s calling to stay in her parents’ home until marriage. If that is what God has revealed to be his plan and purpose for your life, then do it. There should be no wavering, no waffling and no worry. When and where God directs, you should obey.
Where I find myself in huge disagreement here is the idea that this is somehow God’s plan for all women. God’s word gets misinterpreted too many times to count. Even as you read Paul’s writings it would almost appear that he was fickle in his directives for women. When one reads and studies such issues (especially the works of Paul) they should do so with keen awareness that it is not just the literal word, but there are many facets – the culture, what Paul was either correcting in a church or exhorting to a specific group.
I strongly believe that God has created each and every person with a unique and awesome plan for their lives. When we submit our entire selves to the work of the Lord he reveals this path to us. The way God chooses to use my life, my skills, my giftings, my temperament, is going to be vastly different from that of any other person on the planet. I, and you too, are fearfully and wonderfully made. How awesome that God gives us such hope, such freedom to be who we were created and designed to be!!! I find that liberating. For some, being home and raising homemakers may be where they find the greatest sense of purpose, calling and freedom. For others it may be pouring themselves into medicine, law, engineering, education, theology…. We worship God when we obey him in the calling of our lives. God has so much grace…SO MUCH GRACE! He isn’t up there demanding that we conform to an ideal that is not how we were shaped. I believe women should seek after God, seek after righteousness, dive into the Word and learn how to hear the voice of God for themselves.
I am so grateful to my parents who taught me above all else, how to know God. How to hear his voice and how to make decisions on my own. That is the highest priority for me in my role as a mother. If God calls my daughter, Sydney, into the workplace then I want her to do it with her heart, mind and soul. If God should call her to stay home and be a homemaker, then I want her to do that in the same way. I am responsible to train, equip and discipline my children to become independent, strong, and well-adjusted adults.
I feel very strongly about this issue. I’m pastor’s wife, and work heavily with women in our church. I see so much brokenness, confusion and pain all the time. And it’s not because they haven’t surrendered to the higher calling of staying home, etc. But mostly it is because they have never fully experienced the power of God’s grace. They have been told that they have to be “this” or “that” in order to please God. When really…God just wants them as they are. God reveals his plan and purpose for each person according to his unique desire for them – man or woman.
Let me also be clear in that I submit wholeheartedly to my husband. He is the most amazing man on the planet – I’ll say it loud and proud. If I were to be any other woman than who I am, it would break his heart. When he and I are operating in our strengths, complimenting each other the way God designed (for us in our marriage), then we are blessing the Lord.
Also, Joel and I made the decision that I would stay home with our children. I love it. I can’t imagine doing anything else. However, as my children are getting older, and I have more time on my hands, I have begun pursuing new ministry opportunities (it doesn’t have to start when you have an empty nest). I teach women, I teach Love and Logic and I am involved with young moms. I LOVE IT.
And one other thing. I didn’t get married until I was 27. God didn’t bring the right guy into my life. In that period of waiting I realized that God had some pretty awesome things he wanted to do in my life. I worked, I traveled all over the world, I lived on my own…in fact, I lived & worked overseas for a full year before marriage. It has made me the woman I am today. I didn’t pine away for “the one”, because I knew God would bring him at the right time. Did I want to get married…you bet I did…but everything is better in God’s time.
I am not called to raise homemakers. If you are…then obey that call. If you aren’t…you are not disobeying or missing out on God’s best for your life. He just has something different he wants to do with you.
Well said, Amy. :)
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thank you for answering my questions! i suppose i had those questions in the first place because the expectations of me as a young woman were much different than it sounds like they were in your family – the very clear expectation of me was to graduate high school, graduate from college and become financially independent.
i commend your achievements – i do hope that you have the same opportunities to grow and learn in your faith that i have had through meaningful interactions with people outside of my family…friends, co-workers, etc. challenge is growth!
I've been reading these two posts and bunches of comments. I'm not going to get into which view I think is right. I just want to say that the whole "raising homemakers" thing is a good challenge. It makes me have to be good and knowledgeable at what I do (homemaking) when I have to teach it. I think the two big things are these: 1.) SEEK GOD individually. Don't just accept another's interpretation and calling. and, 2.) Be PURPOSEFUL in *whatever* it is God has called you to, whatever that may be.
.-= Sarah´s last blog post … Our Sunday at the hospital =-.
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!
Hi, Linds!
I really appreciate your kind words, but I wanted to comment on one thing you said:
"i commend your achievements – i do hope that you have the same opportunities to grow and learn in your faith that i have had through meaningful interactions with people outside of my family…friends, co-workers, etc. challenge is growth!"
I live at home, true enough, but I do have interaction with people outside of my immediate family, as does every single other stay-at-home daughter I know -I have especially known the challenge that "iron sharpening iron" relationship that friends and co-laborers in Christ provide -from likeminded friends who are likeminded in almost every way to friends from all different backgrounds who are walking all different kinds of paths from I do. Also, especially working with my dad in his ministry and taking advantage of other opportunities, I have come in contact with people of all different stripes.
Proverbs 18:1 says: "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."
I think this also applies to Christian families who would cloister themselves in the way that some would suggest that stay-at-home daughters or homemakers are seeking to cloister themselves. If our *only* influence is over our own homes (I would argue that the home, for a woman, is the hub or base for ministry, not the sole sphere where it takes place -the Proverbs 31 woman is proof of that!)-and if the only influence over us comes from our families -we are in danger of isolation. However, the beauty of the Body of Christ is the built-in accountability that we have in the local church, and the command to take advantage of ministry opportunities that allow us to engage all kinds of people protects us from that.
I'm just being nit-picky here, but wanted to point that out!
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So blessed by your words.
.-= Brandi´s last blog post … Corn-on-the-Cob Cupcakes =-.
i have no doubt that you interact with people outside of your family and church community! you certainly would not be so well spoken if you hadn’t :)
i was thinking more along the lines of having meaningful friendships and relationships with people that do not hold the same beliefs and values as you – like you said i think the risk of cloistering oneself is that opportunities to minister and have your own beliefs challenged may be lost. this happens in every community, not only faith based ones…when people are always around others who have the same opinions (about anything – politics, books, social issues, food!), there is no challenge there to grow, or think a different way about things. and that challenge is what i hope for, for you – and i’m glad to hear that you feel like you have it!
i will be checking your blog for updates on your book! that is fantastic.
Thank you for sharing Jasmine. I admire anyone who submits to God's calling in their life, and their submission to their parents before marriage.
Although, I believe that it is also wonderful to go to college, get life experiences, etc. "still under the parental umbrella" but not necessarily "in the home".
You know what I mean?
.-= Traci´s last blog post … Love Notes Revisted And HOPE =-.
I love this post! While we can't afford for me to be a stay-at-home mom, I would love to be one, and I pray about it regularly.
Thank you, Jasmine, for sharing. It's rare that I get to see young black women living their lives for Christ, the way you do. Kudos to your family for raising you this way.
I know exactly what you mean, Traci -what's important is submitting to the Lord and the authorities he's placed in our lives -wherever that takes us! =)
.-= Jasmine´s last blog post … Newsy Links =-.
wow
your peace and grace in these few paragraphs ASTOUND me. you have a beautiful soul to behold so I hope to hear more from you!