I'm Not Only Not My Own, I'm Not My Own!
Marriage.
Hard.
(I’m sensing a theme on my blog…)
Love is hard.
I’m not only not my own when it comes to my life as a Christian, but I’m not my own when it comes to my marriage…I am His and his.
I know the reality of being my husband’s, but it is sinking in differently today. It’s deepening. It’s revealing itself.
I went to a wedding this weekend and as I watched and listened I felt that covetess root creep up and wrap itself around my heart, squeezing just a bit, and making me go if only my husband…I wish our marriage…
And I’m only 7 years in. (scratch scratch).
No, love is not easy, it isn’t even natural. To really love, you have to really work and die and submit and forgive and give grace and seek after it with all you’ve got inside of you.
You have to fight. (Love is a battlefield…thank you Pat Benatar.)
I am his. I am his helper; I am his completer. I was made for him, he was not made for me (1 Corinthians 11:9). I am to support and help him in his vision and purpose.
Again, know this stuff, but knowing and living is quite different, isn’t it? Here’s the thing…
I am more like Jesus everytime I fulfill this created role.
Jesus, “being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant…” Philippians 2: 6,7.
I want to be more like Jesus.
I want to love hard…everyday.
Loving a person just the way they are is no small thing.
It take some time to see things through.
Sometimes things change, sometimes we’re waiting. We need grace either way.
Hold on to me.
And I’ll hold on to you.
Let’s find out the beauty of seeing things through.
There’s a lot of pain in reaching out and trying. It’s a vulnerable place to be.
Love and pride cannot occupy the same spaces baby, and only one makes you free.
If we go looking for offense, we’re going to find it. If we go looking for real love we’re going to find it.
Loving a person just the way they are, it’s no small thing, it’s the whole thing. Loving me just the way I am it’s no small thing.
It’s takes some time…
-Sara Groves
Related Articles:
Marriage is Hard (series)
Ex Prep (series)
________________________________________
The winner of the Flowerz in Her Hair giveaway is…Stacey, from 29 Lincoln Avenue!
Congrats! Email me at sarahmae (at) likeawarmcupofcoffee (dot) com with “Flowerz Winner” in the subject line!
If you want some of the adorable bows for your little ones, use code FLOWERZ10 to get 10% off at my shop! :)
I'm not my own either. Some days it's hard, and some days it's very hard, but every day it's worth it. We're coming up 10yrs married in April!!
.-= SquiggleMum´s last blog post … Rain And More Rain =-.
I am 32 years in, a Pastor's wife, and still working on it. Thanks for these posts. Not a lot of support in society for the kind of wife the Bible tells us to be. My two favorite sources are the Power of a Praying Wife, and The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Be prepared for both of them to make you good and mad. But every time I read them, I make a little bit of progress in myself. I can only change me, not him. And he loves me, as imperfect as I am. And 4 grown and nearly grown children are still watching and learning from us. God bless…
I so agree that love is hard, and you have to work at it. One relative of mine seemed to think I was crazy when I said this (well, aren't they lucky, married with no problems? not buying it, so I don't feel too bad. I think love takes work for everyone to an extent). And I do feel stronger in my walk with Him when I am the wife I was called to be.
I'm 14 years in and get a deeper understanding almost daily. I'm not a perfect wife. Then again, I didn't marry a perfect husband. But we love one another. We give grace liberally (well, he does anyway ;) ).
14 years, 5 children, and life on the mission field? Yeah, hard. But oh, so worth it!!!
I love being His and his!
Yes, when we finally make peace with this fact and accept it as it is – our world opens up in a beautiful way. When we fight it, we actually stop blessings that God wants to give us in our marriage.
A Godly marriage is hard work and there will be days when we are off kilter and selfish – we will fall. But the key is in repenting, picking ourselves back up and pressing on.
This world is too quick to throw in the towel! There is so much selfishness and bitterness that we can't get to forgiveness and unconditional love. But when we walk with God – he equips us with those qualities and over time our marriage turns into a bright light to the world!
Shine it Sarah Mae!!!
Courtney
It's Monday Marriage Day on my blog – my video post is titled – "Respectfuly Changing Your Husband's Opinion" http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/2010…
.-= Courtney (Women Living Well)´s last blog post … Good Morning Girls Update =-.
There are days I embrace this as a Christian, wife and mother…and days I throw a kicking, screaming tantrum about it. I want to be selfish, I want what I want and I get angry when I don't get it. But then, usually, God waits for me to finish my fit, scrapes me up off the floor and stands me up again. Obviously I'm still working on it. I do know I'm happier with Him, with him (my husband) and with him, her, him and him (my kids) than I would be without them. That's what I have to keep in mind. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
.-= Melissa Brotherton´s last blog post … Baby Kicks =-.
I think the longer I stay married the madder I get at movies, fairytales and the what not. LOL Darn things. I agree with you!
And we LOVE this Sara Groves' song. We reference it all the time. Thanks for sharing. :)
I was just discussing this with my sister. My how we need to hear these things OVER AND OVER again! Love is hard. Just look at 1 Corinthians 4-9. Patient, kind, not easily-angered, not proud, etc. This stuff is no joke! We need God's strength and wisdom each and every day.
.-= Steph´s last blog post … The Hand that Rocks the Cradle… =-.
I loved this Sarah…thanks for writing this! I needed to read it today.
Have a blessed week!
.-= Kristen@Moms Sharpening Moms´s last blog post … Springing Forward & Other Spring Foolishness =-.
Great post, and great song. I am just starting to realize how this whole "I'm his" thing is supposed to work! It finally sunk in this weekend that he is my authority… I can't let myself think that I know better than he does, or that I can do things better… that's poison to our relationship! If there's something I'm better at, he knows that, and will give me those responsibilities… I do not need to force him to :)
.-= Erin´s last blog post … Spring Is Coming =-.
I don't know what to say, after reading this post, i am simply don't know.. it hits home.
.-= m & j @zcouple.com´s last blog post … Couples: The Power of Choice =-.
Thank you for the reminder and for your honesty…. We will be married 10yrs this fall and I still have so far to go. Your honesty and openness encourage me. Thank you!
B
.-= B´s last blog post … Homeschooling =-.
We will celebrate our 15th anniversary in April, and I can honestly say that I love my husband more than ever. It has not come easily, but with sacrifices on both sides we have kept our vows.
My mom divorced my dad after 18 years of marriage. She divorced my first step-dad after 18 years of marriage. Does generational sin concern me? Yes, but only to the point of knowing that the enemy would like nothing less than to destroy our lives by my giving in to the selfishness I'm so prone to.
Following the command to "guard your heart" is paramount in marriage.
.-= Heathahlee´s last blog post … Now Buying Stock in Raid… =-.
thanks so much for sharing this. i'm engaged and getting married in a couple of months and really value wisdom like this on marriage. and, i love that sarah groves song SO much. it's so raw yet life-giving.
.-= Leslie´s last blog post … looking forward to… =-.
[...] I’m Not on My Own – A great post about marriage. This is so true. And I have to say I hate when those thoughts come into your head into your marriage that start with “if only…” [...]
That was a great post. I loved what you said, "loving a person just the way they are is no small thing". So true! My husband and I have our really good days, then of course have our REALLY bad days. We are both very committed and never EVER talk of splitting, but it can be sooo hard sometimes. I was lead here by Mrs. Montoya. I love your blog, now following you on twitter :)
.-= Crystal´s last blog post … FAB Friday- Elizabeth =-.
I love this! I struggle with this some days. It isn't that I want to belong to anyone else. I only want my husband forever. The problem is I want to be MINE. I want to control things and all that. I come from a family of feminists who think I am totally looney. lol But I know that when I am HIS and his everything is so much more peaceful in my life. Funny how doing things God's way always makes things better.