Am I doing it, or just writing about it?
February 17th, 2010
Here is a portion of an email I received from a dear friend…
“I am stepping out of blogging…it’s {topic she greatly believes in}so important to me that I want to spend time actually DOING it rather than only WRITING about it.”
Can I tell you that I have tears in my eyes. I have been struck to the core with her email.
I am totally addicted to social media.
I want to be addicted to my Lord…
and my family.
“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:12
Photo Credit: Internet
Yep! Boundaries are absolutely necessary. I don’t know why it’s so easy to lose track of time on the computer. I usually don’t let myself go on except early before my kids are up or after they’re in bed if my husband is busy. But it is a daily thing I have to remind myself of!
Angela @ Homegrown Mom´s last blog post … Routines, Rituals, and Traditions
EXACTLY how I have felt the last few months as I have been taking a blogging break. God (ever so gently, well not really, rather pointedly!) convicted me that I was not living life and being intentional about reaching others in person, I was hiding behind my keyboard/computer screen. He LITERALLY took my words from me to get me to see.
So hard as a writer–literally how I define myself and my passion–to take a step back on obedience and do what God commands, so that I can be more intentional with my family and friends and even perfect strangers in my real life.
Good for your friend; will be praying over her & her family.
Blessings,
Lindsey
Lindsey @ A New Life´s last blog post … A Different Kind of Free
I applaud her and so many other women who have done the same — left blogging. I was just writing on a similar topic. It breaks my heart to know that blogging and the obsession it becomes is taking so many women away from the things we hold dear. We can easily spend more time photographing or writing about it than living it. It is not true of every woman, for sure, and many of us do this to support our families as well as it being something we love, but I worry about many lovely ladies out there and hope and pray they will have the courage to step back, prioritize or walk away if need be.
Thanks for sharing your friend’s story. May she be richly blessed for her courage!
melissa´s last blog post … Simple Decorating: The Parable of the Spoons
I’ve been convicted of this lately, too – how I spend so much time talking about doing that I don’t have time left to do anything. I’ve spent less time online this past week and I haven’t even noticed. Yes, I’ve probably missed out some, but it’s one time in which ignorance truly is bliss.
Rachel @ the science of music´s last blog post … bits and pieces
I think so many of us struggle with this, especially the longer we are at this blogging thing. It does take courage to step back & reprioritize. I just wrote about it too, the balance of blogging. I’m vowing to be more intentional about breaking away much more this year and not getting sucked into more, more, more. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in validation & keeping up with friends that we don’t take time to do what we NEED to do around our homes. And that’s what we are called to do by the Lord.
I love this.
Ouch, in a good way. Excuse me while I stop the bleeding. :) I’m still learning balance here. Having only blogged for approx. 4 months now, I’ve been trying to set limits. Can I say, I’m still practicing? But seriously, this is serious. I felt lead to write, but I don’t want it to be an idol (enslaved) either. So, I will intentionally practice pushing back from the keyboard. Starting after this comment. Thanks for the reminder. We really need them. Really.
Tammy@if meadows speak…´s last blog post … Message In A Bottle (of me)
I can relate to the author of this email. I too have felt God’s spirit calling me to live out my vision in Him. This requires more time invested in my family and in my personal walk with Christ. I have cut down my internet time to a specific schedule, not anytime I can get to the screen. I’m following God on this one and I know my readers will understand.
So much of what we do in the home can feel like monotony. Not that it’s not important or needed, but it can go largely unnoticed (you know, unless we were to stop doing it). I think what becomes addicting about blogging, or Twitter, or Facebook, is the recognition of our contribution.
At the same time, there can be great value in what we offer each other here in the cyber ether. Whether it’s encouraging or uplifting one another, or sharing a simple truth when someone else needs to hear it.
The Lord can and does use us here. But like all things, it must have it’s place. It cannot be our center.
I hope you find peace with this, Sarah Mae. Please know you’ve inspired and encouraged me on more than one occasion.
Anne´s last blog post … What Am I Teaching Them?
Oh how this speaks to me right now…
Kelli @ SustainingCreatvity
This is perfect, Sarah Mae.
Social media can be a ministry in an of itself. Don’t underestimate what God can do through you with the use of the internet.
However, it doesn’t hug people with real arms. It doesn’t cry with people. It doesn’t get right down to where they are and pick them up. It’s not in the gutters and alleys. It’s not in the poor remote villages. It’s not at funerals. It’s not at the altar.
A balance must be in place. It’s okay to reach out with the help of social media. In fact, remote missionaries like me enjoy the encouragement we receive from blogs like yours. But we must also get out there and live it.
I’m a missionary. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. But I still have to ask myself these same questions. It’s easy to get caught up in things of little eternal value (imo), but I have to get out of my comfort zone and let God use me for things with enormous eternal weight.
Hugs, Sarah Mae.
I needed this today. I have felt a restlessness, maybe I am being convicted of the time wasted. I spend HOURS reading blogs, reading tutorials, saving links to said tutorials, buying the latest and greatest that ’someone’ recommends. I don’t spend time using the tutorials or the products I have purchased. I feel guilty for that waste as well. Wasted money, wasted time, accumulating ’stuff’. Days and days go by where I have to check one more blog, one more store. I needed this post this day.
I am very anti Facebook but let myself be talked into it to stay in touch with a group of ladies I met on a message board that was closing. I have a very private setting and only those message board people are my friends in an effort to not get sucked into even MORE hours.
I am trying to decide if I should just go cold turkey before I need rehab.
Thanks!
CJ´s last blog post … February Friday Night Sew In
I was just thinking the other day, and commenting to my hubby, that it’s easier to let the words pour out on a blank page than to actually put them into practice. It’s easy to have the knowledge in your head, and let God share with you, if you’re writing. But, it’s something totally different to take those words to heart and chew on them a bit, and then let God use them and you for what he intended…..not just to share on the puter screen (because I believe he can and does use all things), but to share with the other people he’s put in your life outside of the computer as well. It’s hard to find a balance between the two, and I think it’s a struggle to remember that. It’s easier sometimes to interact with the screen than it is with a person that’s right in front of you. Kudos to your friend for finding that balance.
Sarah Hankins´s last blog post … Thought Provoking Tuesday
That picture is heart wrenching. It makes me wonder if that is how my family views me!
Jennifer Sikora´s last blog post … Look Out Lake. . .Here We Come!
I haven’t been blogging that long and used to have the opposite problem of not spending enough time on my blog (: Right now I’m posting several times a week, but can see how time could evaporate without even realizing it. I admire those women who have noticed that their blogging might have surpassed previously set boundaries and in an attempt to regain balance, have decided to step back for a bit. It can be a hard thing to do, but so worth it (:
Michele´s last blog post … Nourishing Traditions Class
That is so true! I want to live it before I write about it.
Hannah Braboy´s last blog post … Blogging Basics: Writing Tips
I totally understand. I have spent way too much time on facebook. Nothing ever accomplished, just time wasted and the regret that follows. Lately, I have felt God calling to me to earnestly seek him. I chose to observe Lent this year and facebook is what I chose to give up. Honestly, I have neglected my blog due to facebook and I have so missed bloggy land. I posted about it on my blog actually. Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek and you will find me when you seek me with all your heart.” I found that I was not seeking him with all my heart, but with what was leftover.
Brandi´s last blog post … I had this thing, then I LENT it so someone else….
I think this is an interesting topic…it is definately hard to blog daily and still maintain the God honoring home I desire to have.
I just was thinking about this yesterday and I asked my children “what do you think of when you think about mommy?” I thought they might say – “You on the computer”. But my son said me cooking and my daughter said my smile! Phew – lol! I also use my husband as a barometer – how does he feel I am doing? He supports my ministry which helps so much. But he’s also honest when he sees me starting to get “sucked” in!
I do think there is a way to be disciplined about it and balance it all. For me having a daily schedule and time scheduled in to be on the computer works. Here’s my schedule:
http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/2009/08/back-to-school-my-daily-schedule.html
What is not on the schedule are the small breaks where I hop on email or blog hop – like right now – we are just finishing chores and have 12 minutes till we start homeschooling – so I had a minute to stop by and did. I squeeze it in – while still sticking to my schedule and getting it all done!
Hope my schedule can help someone who is struggling!
Courtney
Courtney (Women Living Well)´s last blog post … What Does Your Home Say About You?
Don’t know if you read my recent blog post, but my husband recently commented, in front of friends, that the habit of mine that he hates is “she is on the computer all the time.” NEedless to say, since that comment I have not been on the computer while he is at home. It was an eye opener for me.
Alyssa´s last blog post … I LOVE Writing
This strikes a chord with me as well. I think the online world can totally consume me if I am not really careful. I have really been trying to limit my time on this computer. I pray that as I am writing I am learning, growing and bringing glory to God. When that stops, I need to step away. Thanks for sharing this with us today.
Amy´s last blog post … You Are
Seems a lot of us are struggling with this lately. I’ve got several blogging friends who have expressed the same, and I just blogged about this very thing on Monday (or was it Tuesday? – see, I’m too busy to even keep my days straight!)
I’ve often said that I wish the Internet was what it is now when my children were small. You all have SO many more resources and – quite literally – the whole world at your fingertips to get advice, support, ideas and virtual fellowship. However, I also know that if it had been so plentiful back then, I’d have been neglecting things at home while I was online… talking with strangers about things at home!
As an older mother, I want to say to all women reading this – never, ever, EVER let this box we all love so much to take *anything* from your children. These moments with them are precious and one day you *will* wish you’d just been sitting in the floor playing with them – more than celebrating any other accomplishments you’ve achieved over the years.
I think God’s trying to tell me something here! Before I even saw this post, I was contemplating taking a break from blogging and twitter to see if the Lord even wants me doing it at all. I think sometime in about a month I will take a 1-2 week break from it all and then follow the Lord’s direction – either going about it all differently or stepping away for a while if He wants me too. Ugh. While I have experienced so many joys and blessings from it, I do think it is distracting me from what I need to be doing in my “real” life
Prayers that all women will be able to see whether they need to step back – temporarily or permanently. Love you Sarah Mae! Hugs!
Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates´s last blog post … Happenings
I cant relate to how your friend feels. I felt the same way just a few weeks ago with facebook. I blogged about it in this post:
http://theclassywoman.blogspot.com/2010/02/facebook-sabbatical.html
I started to feel like too much of my time was devoted to social media including facebook, and not enough time was devoted to caring for my home, spending time my family as well as a few other factors. In some ways we think we’ll have a deeper connection with people, but often times it is just the opposite.
When I first began my blog over a year ago, I was amazed at some the awesome blogs and bloggers I came across. Some would post several post in one day and each where inspirational, filled with gorgeous pictures and were filled with great content. I wondered how they had the time. For many, I’m sure a blog burnout sets in after a while.
I feel much more free now that I’ve been off of facebook, I have so much extra time and like your friend, spend more time with the Lord. :)
Thank you for sharing her email.
{The Classy Woman}´s last blog post … How I Saved $150 Today
Supposed to read ‘can’ relate, to your friend. :)
{The Classy Woman}´s last blog post … How I Saved $150 Today
Ladies, we sound like we are all in agreement. I guess we need to let God continue to use us and not let the enemy find a way to ruin what God means for good. Because He is using many of us in the cyber world.
There is balance, and there is conviction and there is the wonderful voice of the holy spirit.
thanks for your edification of the body today.
I know I am shutting this down and reading to my daughter right now….
Yes yes yes.
I have been staying off my laptop until after lunch since January 1 and I can see God changing my heart about it.
Now I need to put some limits on my phone during that time as well.
Social media is so great for sharing the love of Christ, but only when you are actually experiencing it as well.
Thank you for this post.
Wow – you definitely hit home with that… why is it so addicting? I guess it is just like everything else. God help us to balance our life and please HIM. Thanks!
Jamie´s last blog post … Send the Fire…
This is a very tough topic for many bloggers, myself included. There is so much to do and there is always more you can do, online and in real life.
I was on twitter last year, but I was just on it too much so I deleted my account. Now, I decided to get on again, knowing that I need to be careful and have limits on my time and energy used on it.
Thanks for sharing, this is definitely a topic that is all about balance.
-Ashley
Ashley´s last blog post … Without Limit
Sarah Mae,
Your post here is timely. I have been reading/listening to bloggers, like yourself, regarding the balance between family and blogging since I have not started to blog yet. (many ideas swirling around in my head) I’ve decided not to start blogging until I am sure I can maintain that balance because I am afraid of making friends online and then all of the sudden one day having to write – it’s been nice but, see you later.
Like (the classy woman) I have stopped facebook and twitter and this has been a blessing. Much more time for my family and I don’t feel tied to the computer anymore. Sometimes I don’t even turn it on until after children are in bed. By then I am so tired myself I don’t feel like sitting at my desk for very long.
I appreciate everyone’s honesty here and I will continue to “follow”.
Katherine
Oh goodness..as I sit here typing this out.. I’m struggling with this too. My blog is The Not So Perfect Housewife and lately I have been EXACTLY that. I’ve gotten more and more attached to this computer.. ugh..
Ok. Stepping away RIGHT NOW to go fix dinner..
Hi Sarah Mae,
First, I LOVE your blog. Even if you didn’t post as often, I would still totally watch for updates in my feeds. I mean, you are a God fearing, Christ loving, coffee drinking wife and mom. Totally awesome!
I will say that when I got married, and especially when I had my daughter, my blogging curtailed A LOT. There are some women who have seemingly eternal supplies of energy. I am not one of those women! I couldn’t worship my Father through my life choices, such as being busy at home with my baby (soon to be babies!), if I was sucked into the internet. But it is hard. I’ve used computers since I was 11. I mean, I navigated my first computer via C prompt!
So yeah, I like technology. But I love my God. Coming from a very dysfunctional family that had no spiritual core whatsoever, I count my blessings every single day.
But, all that said, there are some awesome, Godly women out there who can be keepers of the home and still blog. And I am so very grateful for them!! Because those are the blogs I read in the morning during my quiet time. I’ll be praying that you find your balance. And I certainly hope you share your findings with us!
Liz
I think this is a struggle that so many of us “Stay-at-home—homeschool mothers” are experiencing. I’ve had the same struggle and had to realize (for the umteenth time) that if I’m faithful to Him and what He has called me to do…He will bless with me with the life and health that’s needed for me to do some of the things I desire.
I had to back away a lot. All though I was here, at home, I wasn’t. I can see the difference in my kids and husband’s attitude and I see the difference in my home and schooling. I’m no longer rushed and impatient. I’ve cooked very nice meals. Just tonight my husband talked about how good dinner was and we ate early. The kids and I really enjoyed schooled and I realized I was so at peace here at home…really being here. I know that I won’t stop blogging totally, but it will no longer be my first priority. I will only do it when I have the time, and as for twitter and FB, well, I doubt if I will be on them much. If my blog is to grow, it will have to do so w/out much of my presence on either of those two. They were really stealing my time from my family. It’s nice being back home.
Thanks Sarah Mae :)
angela´s last blog post … Learning to accept through surrender?
Ugh, I agree with you. I want my only addiction to be a Holy One! I took a 3-month break to get back on track. Sabbaticals are your friend. xo
Brenna´s last blog post … Polka Dots and Poodles
By the way, that picture is incredibly convicting – wow.
Erin´s last blog post … One Week Ago
Addiction? Ha! Then just to make sure i went to check this out:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm
Some interesting points like ‘the signs of addiction’ and the ‘risk factors’.
I find I can barely sit through reading a chapter in my Bible without wondering who posted on FB or who Tweeted what. As much as the social media can be used to reach people for God, it can be so distracting that our words become like sounding brass. We know all the right words to say but the Spirit isn’t there like it should be. In fact, I’m closing this down now and going back to my reading!
I understand what you mean, especially when it comes to relationship with the Lord. I want to be a doer of the Word, not merely a reader (or a writer expounding upon it). There is a find line between just writing about something or going out and making a difference. Hopefully we can find the right balance.
Kristine McGuire´s last blog post … Escaping the Cauldron~How It All Began
What a timely post. Not only did I need the post, but I needed some of the comments, too!
Kat´s last blog post … Blogiversary…
I left my blog for similar reasons, after many weeks of ignoring that nudge from the Holy Spirit. I do regret losing the creative outlet and that piece of “me” that life with small children tends to smother. But not enough to go back–not without blogging completely on my own terms.
While blogging was very good for my ego, it was not always good for my soul.
Meredith´s last blog post … How To Calm Down When Someone Paints On The Dining Room Table
Became a fan on facebook :)
Thanks Sarah Mae for living life with me on our wonderful outting on Saturday with the 3 babes……….it is a memory maker for all of us
Ooooops. Became a fan on facebook went with the DownEast Giveaway post. Sorry :(
This is terribly convicting. Something I have struggled with. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes the “pull” to the computer is so powerful, I have to pray about captivating my thoughts. I sometimes have to shut my computer completely down when it gets bad.
I think the key is recognizing it, not denying it and then deal with it.
Our kids and hubby need us desperately!
Great topic.
I have already started posting less on my blog, and like someone said, people who want to follow will understand or move on. It’s OK. I just want to be the best mommy and wife I can be.
Stacie´s last blog post … Jacob’s Turns Three!