Uncovering the Beauty – The Titus 2 Older Woman
October 29th, 2009
She has gray hair that when the light hits just right, you would think it is shining, kind of like a crown.
She has deep indentations on her face, wrinkles by name, a life lived by reality. Her smile stretches wide and her eyes are as warm as her embrace. I watch her as she lifts her delicate tea cup with her delicate, work worn hands, and she begins to speak wisdom from a life of experience. She breathes into me the treasures from her pilgrimage, and she dusts off the rough stones to reveal their purposes. Her kindness and her hospitality make my soul feel like it is sitting by a fireplace all wrapped up in cozy. Her spirit walks alongside mine, as she teaches me what is good, lifting me up and encouraging me in my God-honoring role that is called womanhood.
Oh friends, in this day and age she is rare, but when you find her, treasure her…and drink her in.
I love drinking in the wisdom of mature, godly women who have gone before me in passionate pursuit of living out the truth, by the grace of God, with their whole lives. It is a beautiful thing to witness a wise women, and it is a gem beyond value to glean from their experience. Why is it so rich? Because they persevered in the difficult joy journey of biblical womanhood and have the dust on their feet to prove it.
Let’s dig.
According to Titus 2:3 She is…
- Older – aged
- Reverent in behavior, as becometh holiness
- Not a malicious gossip – she defames no one
- Not enslaved to much wine – she is not in bondage to addictions of the flesh
- Teaching what is good
I view the “older” woman in a two fold way; she is a real woman, as well as a principle.
In principle, we take her as an example of what it should look like to be a mentor. She lives out a godly, biblical lifestyle (which we will explore throughout this series), she has proven character, and she has life experience.
As a real woman, we look for the same characteristics that are listed above, but we look for woman who is, literally, an older (aged) woman who has lived out the godly role of womanhood and can pass on her wisdom from experiential and mature living.
She is not perfect. She may not have gray hair (blond highlights, perhaps?). She may have 10 children or no children. She may be married or single. You will know her by her fruit (her reverent behavior, her reigned in tongue, her self-control, and her words of kind truth).
My hope is that this woman is your mother.
We have this view in our Christian culture that a mentor should be someone other than our own parents. We should find someone in the church to connect with and walk alongside…but how often are we encouraged to be mentored/discipled by our own families? Our own mothers? Moms – you are the ones that have the responsibility of teaching your daughters how to live and be prepared for biblical womanhood. In the words of Carolyn Mahaney, it should be your “highest attention to prepare daughters” in marriage, motherhood, and homemaking.
I know that many of you, myself included, may not have a biblical role-model mother to learn from, in which case we should pray and seek out an older woman to join life with (your mother-in-law? Woman from church? Woman from a blog?). We should also seek to be that older woman for our daughters, and for future generations that have no mothers of virtue.
I want to leave this article with a few recommendations for you in your pursuit of Titus 2:3 (as a younger woman and as an older woman)…
Blogs of Wise, Older Women Who Have Mentored Me:
June, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
Robin, Robin’s Egg Blue
Sally, I Take Joy
(Find my Lady of Wisdom interviews with these godly women here.)
Book Recommendation:
As a final note, I’d like to encourage the older women reading this who may think, “well, I don’t fit any of those things because I’ve messed up in my life too bad to teach someone.” Fuey. God redeems and can use you! Continue to ask for wisdom (He gives to those who ask, James 1:5) and pursue godly living. We young women need those who have fallen and gotten back up!
Uncovering the Beauty – Titus 2:3-5, An Outline
Subscribe to Like a Warm Cup of Coffee here!
Awesome explanation on the Titus 2 woman being a principle as well. There was an older Sister at our congregation while we lived in Japan who was single with no children, but she knew God’s word and made me understand that just because she wasn’t “like” me, didn’t mean that she couldn’t guide me!
I tell ya, she did some work on me. We still communicate via e-mail, but it ain’t the same as that face to face time because she used to give me the most sternest over-the-rim-of-her-glasses stare when I would whine and be hard-headed! I still need that!
smooches,
Larie
Larie´s last blog post … …of I just needed to walk away
“My hope is that this woman is your mother.”
This pierced my heart!!
I have ALWAYS read this passage as older women in the church… and how sad that I never even thought of the older woman being my mother!… I have a 7 year old daughter – THANK YOU for sharing this truth! I am excited to be the ‘older woman’ to my daughter… wow. I so needed this today.
Hey Sarah Mae!! I think this is excellent and very insightful. I also don’t have a biblical role model mother although she is an excellent mum! I have had to seek out role models in Church. We have plenty of wonderful Titus 2 women whom I can talk to! It is wonderful. I love what you say about striving toward being the example to our daughters. I have an almost 3 year old girl and I hadn’t really looked at myself as an example to her. But I am! A scary thought!! I need to take the example I set much more seriously!
Love Collette xxx
COLLETTE HOWIE´s last blog post … Thankful Thursday!
I want to start by saying, “I did it!” Today was my first day up before my kids to study the Word and I feel so filled. This was a huge victory for me. I am so looking forward to this time every day!
Thank you for this post and thank you for the interviews. I read Sally’s first interview and loved it. I am really hungering for an older woman to come alongside me. I know if I pray for her God will answer my prayer in His time.
Blessings, Brooke
One more question…I feel totally inept at computer stuff. Is there a way I can sign in so that you don’t have to make sure I’m not spam? I tried to sign up yesterday and it sent me to a page I didn’t understand so I didn’t continue. Or, does the blog check everyone’s posts to make sure they aren’t spam? Thanks…sorry for clogging the discussions with these sorts of questions.
Brooke – it checks everyone’s comments – sorry!
Brooke – YAY! :) What did you study?
I studied Titus 2:3-5 out of a few different versions of the Bible. I was really excited to see that you were blogging about it. I thought I recognized “I Take Joy” so I went to Sally’s interviews and she is a woman a friend of mine met at a homeschooling conference for women in Baltimore MD last year. My friend thought she was wonderful and told me about her blog but I never took the time to look at it…I did today though. I feel so encouraged, Sarah Mae. Thanks for doing these blogs / networking sites…you are making a difference!!
Do you need to be perfect to be a Titus 2 woman? Obviously not, because Sarah Mae was kind enough to put me on that list.
The other two women listed have ministered to me so much over the years, I would greatly encourage you to read their blogs and glean from their wisdom.
Having two daughters has definitely made me look to what I was teaching, how I was mentoring them, what my own example was to them. Ladies,let that be a motivator to you also, knowing that your daughters are watching you and will learn from you.
When I am obeying God, walking in His commandments I can see the effect that it has on my daughters. When I am sinning I can also see that effect on them and it becomes even more awful. When I stumble and ask for forgiveness, they learn from that too. They are always learning from us.
So I would urge you to cry out to God to give you the strength, wisdom and courage to follow Him and to be that mother who is mentoring her daughters in the Lord. He is faithful!
If you have not had that type of relationship with your own mother, pray and ask God to show you ways that you can honor her and learn from her.
(Sarah Mae, I am so glad that you are feeling better!)
Blessings,
Robin
Robin´s last blog post … Do Not Fear, but Trust in God!
I have been very blessed in my life to have a godly mother. She definitely now has gray hair (she is 76) and is far from perfect, but she loves the Lord. My mother prayed for me when I wandered far from the Lord and never stopped praying for me. She has been a model of grace through difficulty in her own life. I pray I can one day be such a model for my own children.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder of the grace of mature womanhood. I think too often in our society we undervalue those who’ve got the most wisdom to share. Biblical womanhood is a gift and virtue not only in our own lives, but for those around us as well.
Kristine McGuire´s last blog post … Ghost Hunter’s Anonymous ~ Part 2
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Sarah Mae and kristinemac, MakeADifferenceToOne. MakeADifferenceToOne said: RT @sarahmaeblogs: Uncovering the Beauty – The Titus 2 Older Women – http://bit.ly/XRkki [...]
thank you so much for this post. it convicted me in a way that I’m so grateful for. I am one of those fortunate women who have a godly mother. Yet, I was told many times that I should be looking for wisdom from other women in the church, only to be dissatisfied. After years, I had become bitter about finding a “mentor”. You’ve allowed me to re-think it through and view my mother as a godly mentor in my life.
Heather, this brings a broad smile to my face! :D
Robin, I so appreciated what you said about those who don’t have a godly mother to pray for ways you can honor her and learn from her. I need to do that with my mom. Since I have become a follower I think she has felt my distance as far as not wanting to make the mistakes she made. But, my mom has many gifts and I know there are things I can learn from her about being a wife and a mother. Thanks for that exhortation!!
I am so blessed to have my mother, teaching and training me! She really is a godly woman and an inspiration! I’m so thankful for the other women God has brought into my life, too, who reinforce what my momma has been teaching me for years.
If you have a Titus 2 woman in your life, cherish her! Ask her questions, glean as much wisdom as you can!
Blessings,
-Breezy
Breezy´s last blog post … The Studio: Almost Finished
This post was lovely! I love speaking with woman who have walked the road before me. And being a pastor’s wife, I love talking to older women who have served alongside their husbands. I get so much encouragement and knowledge from these beautiful godly women. Thank you for this post!
Tiffany´s last blog post … Missions Anyone?
What a blessing this post was to me this morning! My two youngest girls, ages 8 and 9, recently joined Awana. They are memorizing scripture like crazy. This has given us an excellent opportunity to learn as a family, but it also opens the lines of communication in teaching them not only to memorize the scripture, but to LIVE the scripture. This post so reminded me that I need to be the Titus woman to them, modeling the Word for them. Thank you for such great insights into raising up our own children.
Cherie´s last blog post … Put Off Selfish Desires
I LOVE that you pointed out that mothers should be the primary discipler of their daughters! This is all too often overlooked thinking that someone in the youth ministry will pick of the slack. Praise God!
Desiring Virtue´s last blog post … The Very Real Love of Christ
Amen!! Walking through life with women like these is truly a delight and a treasure. We younger women need to be humble enough to recognize that we might be able to learn something from them ;).
Kristi_runwatch´s last blog post … Paradise Lost
I enjoy learning from Titus 2 women…my grandma is certainly one of them so I am lucky to have her as an example.
Also, the book Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney…awesome. Tackles each of the Titus 2 criteria by chapter.
I’ve really enjoyed reading my way through it.
Great post!
I am striving to be the “primary discipler” to my own daughter, and have been greatly encouraged to see her faith grown and her heart change. She is truly passionate about being Christ-like, and she is only 8 years old. It is truly beautiful to watch.
I do not have a mom who is a believer, and we are a young church so we do not have a lot of older women in our church to turn to, plus my husband and I are new and first-generation believers. It has often felt overwhelming trying to teach our kids when we are still learning. But, I have found the bible has many many answers :-) and there are a lot of wonderful blogs out there that offer guidance as well.
Blessings,
Lindsey
Lindsey @ A New Life´s last blog post … How Can I Pray for You?
Yes, my mama… a mentor and a prayer warrior and a cherished friend.
Thank you for encouraging, Sarah Mae…
All’s grace,
Ann
Ann Voskamp@Holy Experience´s last blog post … Never Fear Shadows
As far as the older women feeling like they have messed up things in their life so they have nothing to teach us younger ladies, my pastor always recommends that they teach us what NOT to do then.
thanks for always ebcouraging….I love your blog…Can’t sleep tonight, so am doing my favorite thing, blog hopping. Be sure and stop by my main blog, where there is a GREAT drawing tomorrow night! Then head over to my Christmas blog and get some Great IDEAS!!!
http://teresa-grammygirlfriend.blogspot.com/
http://grammyababychangeseverything.blogspot.com
Teresa´s last blog post … A BAD WEATHER DAY BUT SOME GREAT FINDS
Now that I am the mother of one precious girl, with another coming any day, I am finding myself striving to be this “older” woman. At 30, I have no gray hairs, but I long to be reverent and not slanderous. I want my daughters to look at me as the woman to model, in all areas of life. I am currently reading Carolyn Mahaney’s “Feminine Appeal.” I can see that this will be a book I’ll read several times as my daughters grow. I must say that the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful mother, but she does not live the Titus 2 life. However, there is an amazing woman that the Lord has placed in my life who models all aspects of the Titus 2 woman, and shares her wisdom with me. It makes a huge difference to have that kind of mentor, and I just continue to pray that I will be that woman for my girls. Thanks for this awesome series! LOVE IT!
This could not be more true. My life changed under my mentor. I look forward to this series. We need mature Christian women, desperately, to speak into our lives. Thank you for seeing the need for this.
Tracy´s last blog post … Caffeinated Randomness…The Tale of Maggie
Thanks for sharing your treasures. I’m lucky to have a few Titus 2 role models in my life, my grandma, my great grandma and my mom. I’d still like to read the blogs of the ladies you interviewed, which is why I thank you for sharing. I’m so hungry for that someone who can show me the way. I get really bogged down in my own little self center and I know it. I need lots of real women to help pull me out. My peers aren’t always helpful. They usually tell me what I want to hear and it seems that they are in the same “center” as me. It is good to hear wisdom and experience of ladies who has God as their center. Their insight is both comforting and unsettling. If the Titus 2 women in my life can go through terrible, wonderful, mundane and exciting things with grace and with God, then I must find a way to do it too. Again, thanks for sharing.
Sarah Mae,
As you know, I think you are so gifted by the Lord and are such an encouragement to so many moms. What an honor to be included in this list of moms. I know that because of your walk with the Lord, He uses you as a mentor-encourager in the lives of so many. May He continue to bless you and your precious ones.
I appreciate you!
Wonderful post! Sadly my Mother was not one of these women and my Mother-in-law most definitely is not. I do enjoy talking with a couple of the older ladies from church. They used to come to our house for Bible study. Since one is at a different church and we don’t have that study anymore, I should invite them over for tea!
Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates´s last blog post … Works-For-Me-Wednesday: Hosting Holiday Meals