Part 2 of 'Time to Quit'
This post is from Laura and is continued from yesterday…
That’s when we quit.
Everything.
We: my husband, myself, and our sweet baby girl.
Quit: we quit staying up late; going to bed at different times; watching television; watching dumb movies; bringing in two incomes; trying to publish a book; prioritizing bosses, friends, extended family, and strangers over each other; competing with one other; using the same old murderous words in every argument. We quit not talking to each other; not knowing what the other one was looking at on the Internet; not reading aloud in the evenings; not playing games with one another; not holding each other and saying, “thank you”.
And life. slowed. down.
And got wonderfully quiet.
And very, very small.
(Ooo, savor that quiet pause with me…)
The details of our marital crisis are “another post for another time”. What is important here, is that through the reordering process, God built a kind of spiritual “front porch” around our home – you know, like the lemonade-and-creaky-swing front porches that went extinct with the Waltons – on which we sit in the evenings, just rocking back and forth, appreciating the fruits of our labor, the glories of creation, and the beautiful humans who live right here, in this little house with us.
As I said, we live a quiet little life nowadays. We spend most of our time and attention on God himself and our family, believing that Scripture advises this type of investment. Itʼs only five years later that we’ve finally gotten more deeply involved in two local ministries: one that saves babies, the other that saves marriages. But we do it together, praying, and working side by side.
I can’t begin to know all of the construction that God did in order to build our “front porch”, but I do know that He had to tear down ugly addictions that had locked me into the go-go-busy-boots lifestyle most folks complain about these days.
The demolition project looked something like this: in order to respect my husband, I had to throw off independence, competition, and whimsy. In order to stay home with our daughters, I had to surrender my love of accomplishment, compensation, and approval. In order to love God truly, I had to sacrifice my aspirations of “making it big for God” as a
Christian speaker or author, because all He wants is for us to love mercy, do justly, and walk humbly by His side.
At times, the sacrifices hurt: I turned down a book offer, speaking opportunities, teaching positions, friendships, and a favorite TV series.
But the building process made it all worthwhile. Because now, I have the freedom to appreciate my husband and live next to him with open arms, saying “sure!” (not “it depends”) when he asks for my help. Nothing – nothing – competes with him for my devotion.
Now, I have the blessing to enjoy and train our children with an open schedule. Nothing- nothing – competes with them for my heart.
Now, I have the privilege of practicing silence, hospitality, generosity, and grace. Nothing competes with these virtues for my attention.
Now, I have the relief of living in quiet communion with God and learning over and over again that nothing – nothing – competes with His jealous affection for me. Quiet, little me.
Day in and day out, God ravaged my heart and soul – only to rebuild me through His Word so that I could write to you today, utterly convinced that my humble walk with God and my Christian love for our home is worth all of my attention for the rest of my life.
If my sphere of influence only extends beyond the walls of our home by way of my well-respected husband, our well-loved children, and our cared-for neighbors, I will have lived a fruitful life. Because here’s the mystery that I am counting on: by walking away from a busy, accomplishment-oriented society into a quiet world of deep relationships, service, and home-life, I will establish a far-reaching legacy that extends throughout many generations. In my estimation, a happy and contented life is one that is poured out in the secret places of prayer, service, and home.
Sometimes it’s just time to quit.
“…study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; that ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.” 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
More about Laura -
Five years ago, I would have focused my byline on my education,
teaching experiences, and public honors. I’m happy to provide those
details when they’re necessary. But, these days, I’d rather have you
know that I am happily Ryan’s wife, Vivienne’s and Lia’s mommy, and a
child of God: I’m blessed to have a life that can focus on these joys.
I love finding the Truth in unsuspecting songs, books, poems, and
people. I adore teaching our children well and watching them fall in
love with Jesus. Currently, my husband and I serve together on the
Board of Directors of our local life-affirming pregnancy resource
clinic. Ryan and I are also the Facilitator Couple for Marriage Savers
Ministries at our local church and are in the process of training
approximately 6 couples to be Marriage Mentors. We have had the
privilege of working with several couples who have been near divorce;
some of whom are wholly restored to the glory of God! We will continue
to develop a solid Marriage Ministry by preparing engaged couples,
enriching married couples, restoring broken marriages, and developing
a step-family support group. Most recently, our family worked together
to plan and teach our church’s first Family Retreat, equipping
families to develop a “Family Vision”, practice “Family Worship” and
build honoring “Family Relationships”. We are currently focusing on
developing a love for the Lord and the Church within our own home. We
are home-educating our children and have engaged a thorough research
process of curriculum and theory, and have been teaching our daughters
about God – as we wake, as we walk through our day, and as we lie
down. Most of all, we treasure our Creator, who leads us through
moments big and small and hides us in the shadow of His wing.
Laura may or may not be a speaker at the upcoming Relevant Conference {ahem} ;)
You can find Laura at her blog, 10 Million Miles.
Beautiful. Awesome. Way to hear the voice of God and obey. To surrender to sacrifice. Sweet stuff. God is so faithful and it is amazing to see what he can do when we step out in faith.
.-= wendy hagen´s last blog post … Beach Action =-.
I loved reading Laura's story. I long for days like this. I guess I don't know where to start. How will my son handle a slow and quiet life? I would love to have no tv and more time with God and the people I love. Most days I feel as if I am running around ragged and making sure I keep up with Gray's Anatomy. How do you start your life over like this?
"by walking away from a busy, accomplishment-oriented society into a quiet world of deep relationships, service, and home-life, I will establish a far-reaching legacy that extends throughout many generations."
Thank You! The Lord has been laying this on my heart over and over again… funny you should share on a blog I just started following 2 weeks ago. Hmmm… ;-)
It's the giving up of self that I have a problem with. I feel that since I do stay at home I am afforded some things "to myself" every now and then. Ya know, like personal hobbies I guess.
However, reading about your experience gives me a slight glimpse of what God and my family is afforded; my devotion and commitment to them.
Thanks.
smooches,
Larie
.-= Larie´s last blog post … …of Bio Hazard =-.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. In my time with God this morning He spoke one word, "Quiet". He even pointed me to the exact scripture you quoted from Micah. Honestly, He spoke so softly that I doubted I heard Him. No big fancy revelation, bells, or whistles, just a soft voice. Then I came here and read this- the exact confirmation of what He had just spoken to my heart. I did hear Him after all.
Thank you!!!
.-= Bonita´s last blog post … A Signpost to Writing Success =-.
"when he asks for my help. Nothing – nothing – competes with him for my devotion."
I love this. I suppose you can say we live pretty quiet lives. We don't run from event to event and we are always focused on God and family. I'd like to reach out to our neighbors a bit more though. Esp. with little ones, we have to be grounded in home. They need their naps and a "run around" life just isn't the best thing, in my opinion.
Thank you for sharing :)
.-= Christin´s last blog post … In Other News =-.
Thanks so much for this! I commend you for quitting it all! I have been so discouraged to learn over the years of 2 well named authors whose marriages have ended in Divorce. And their "Area" of expertise was on parenting and home-making. It was all so sad. now I know I don't know the WHOLE story in those situations. But it is sad when they are writing on marriage, family, and home only for readers to learn that their marriage, family and home is crumbling. The principles and teaching they write was SO good… but obviously their marriages were strained and I have no doubt that soem of the strain came frm the women's decision to choose work/books/speaking over family and husband.
I have thought often…how did they possibly live out these principles if they are on the road all the time promoting books and speaking at conferences, talking on radio shows.
I too have often thought about writing… but not when the stakes are so high. I would rather live out these ideas and principles then write about them. Thanks for sharing your story!
WOW! This is an amazing testimony of how God works when we call out to him and listen. I am totally inspired and frightened all at the same time. The world screams so loudly at us about what we should be doing, that it is hard to keep our eyes toward heaven. I yearn for quiet like this!!
beautiful post. and life.
.-= Kristen ~ Pajama Mama´s last blog post … She's Gone Country =-.
What a beautiful example of love and concentrating on what's truly an important legacy. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow, so much good stuff in there. That will be well thought out in the next few days. Thank you.
Laura,
I SO needed to hear this. I quit everything this year. And I've been wondering lately if I lost my mind. I've wondered if I've deluded myself into thinking I'm following God, when I'm really self-destructing. Sometimes when I look at my life now it seems SO small, so empty. I know I'm doing the right thing, but it's hard to remember when I'm surrounded by (real or imaginary) voices screaming "what if"'s and worst case scenarios, and that I'm wasting my life.
So thank you. I can't wait to check out your blog.
.-= Reborn´s last blog post … First Blog Award! =-.
Great encouragement!!!!!!! I love this…"If my sphere of influence only extends beyond the walls of our home by way of my well-respected husband, our well-loved children, and our cared-for neighbors, I will have lived a fruitful life." It takes a lot of dying to self and living to God to be able to say that. Our world raised us to believe that a lifestyle like this is not enough, that you need to leave your mark on the world in some big way, but really the greatest mark on mankind is made in this exact way. Praise God!
I just did some catch-up on your blog. I loved reading Laura's story. And literally, it smacked me in the face.
God has been doing that to me a lot lately.
God has been knocking at my heart for awhile now about certain things. And we keep resisting. Because it would take sacrifice. We wouldn't get to have certain pleasures we are accustomed to. We would have to obey.
That's scary.
Thank you Laura for sharing your story with us.
.-= Tiffany´s last blog post … Let's Play a Game =-.
I was so looking forward to returning today to read her conclusion and I'm so glad I did. She gave me so much to think about. I so desire a quiet simple life but at the moment it's kind of hard in my circumstances. But I'm going to pray about this and I thank you for inviting her to do this timely guest post.
Blessings,
Debbie
.-= Debbie´s last blog post … In Other Words Tuesdays ~ Getting Bumped =-.
Hi Laura ;) Now I know why I LOVE you so much!!! These were awesome posts, that really touched my heart. Many lines sound so familiar to me ;).
Thanks Sarah Mae for having her guest-post on your blog, and thanks Laura for writing!
Love and hugs to you both!
Carisa
.-= Carisa´s last blog post … Raising Rock Stars ~ Halloween =-.
I loved this part …
….. I had to sacrifice my aspirations of “making it big for God” as a
Christian speaker or author, because all He wants is for us to love mercy, do justly, and walk humbly by His side…."
How often do we think our busyness and accomplishmends are what please God when all He wants is to be near us.
Thank you so much for sharing! This is my frist time reading this blog, I'll definatly be following more often now, both 10 million and Like a Warm Cup!
Be Blessed in the quietness ! :)
Thank you for joining me in this journey, friends! Here are some thoughts about your comments…
* Mindy May, you wrote: "Most days I feel as if I am running around ragged and making sure I keep up with Gray’s Anatomy. How do you start your life over like this?"
I encourage you to devote a time of prayer and fasting to the issue. God gives wisdom freely and you will know what to do. Pour over Scripture for the non-negotiables (i.e. respecting and loving our husbands, training and loving our children, etc.) so that you know where your fullest investment should be. Ask Him for such an encompassing love for those things that the sacrifices will be "easier" in that the cost will be reasonable. He will point out the big and little things that you could live without. He will fill in the vacancy with things you can't live without. May we all remember that He has called us to live uniquely free lives that work out the same truth in very different ways.
* Carrie, when you wrote, "I would rather live out these ideas and principles then write about them," you expressed my thoughts exactly! Oh, it sure is fun to talk and write about the blessing of living rightly, but it is far greater just to live rightly and experience the blessing for ourselves, isn't it?
* Reborn, you wrote: "I quit everything this year. And I’ve been wondering lately if I lost my mind." I don't know what this looks like for you, and I'm more than happy to "talk" over email in hopes of encouraging you more. For now, though, I thought about the scene at the end of "A Beautiful Mind" when John Nash – a schizophrenic Harvard professor – must choose one reality over the other. We see him deliberately turn away from imagined people in order to engage in real people. His choice is one of faith and courage: the imagined people appear just as real and as convincing as real people. Sometimes obeying the Lord is like that: a continual choosing of His reality over the world's ephemeral temptations. If you are indeed choosing to live according to His Word and Spirit, keep on! You are choosing what is right, real, and good.
.-= Laura´s last blog post … Time to Quit: Part 2 =-.
I am so to that breaking point right now. I feel like there are so many distractions in our life right now, and my husband and I need to really put the focus back on us, and figuring out this new life we're beginning. Good post to read as a reminder that it is possible to say no to all the busy-ness.
.-= Kalee´s last blog post … How To Get Skinny In The City =-.
loved this post! this summer my husband had to be quite honest with me and how my busy busy life style and stressed out way of being was effecting him. it has been a process over the last few months of letting go and slowing down. the more i do this and honor my husband the happier i get. we have been blessed with our first baby on the way, due in february. sarah, thanks for doing this blog. i have been reading for months now and am getting alot out of it. can't wait to dive into Titus with you.
So good.
.-= Amber@theRunaMuck´s last blog post … Camping with Isaac, Day 2: from Seth =-.
Such an inspiring story!! Thank you so much for sharing it! I keep things in my life slower than most others I know, but there is still plenty of room for improvement in our family and a need to do it all together. I definitely have to keep working on dying to self!
I really appreciate your post. Our family has gone through a similar realization the past year or so. It really is nice to cut out all the extra "noise" of life to enjoy being together. Currently God actually challenged my husband to resign his job for a season. It is amazing how little you can live on when you cut out all the unnecessary spending and it has been amazing having him home more.
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