Avoiding Affairs, Part 3 – Emotional Entanglement
Today’s post is from Sarah Markley, owner of the blog The Best Days of My Life. She would love to sit across from you and tell you her story in person, but for now, she’ll settle for her blog as a place to meet and get to know one another.
My affair began because I was a crazy emotional mess.
What led me down the road to eventually sleeping with someone else’s husband in the beginning was the fact that I was unable (and unwilling) to find a valid outlet for my emotions. My husband was “over it” and there was someone else who was willing to listen.
Simply that. That’s how it begins. Or at least it did with me.
It wasn’t my husband’s fault.
It was ultimately mine.
However I was living in a marriage with diseased habits where my husband was willing to let another man emotionally fill what he should have been his responsibility.
And now here are all the “shoulds”:
We should have created routines and rules for talking things out when I was feeling depressed or unable to control my emotional instability.
If my husband wasn’t willing to listen to me, I should have poured my heart out to God.
I should have begged to go to counseling so that we could find ways to love each other better in the midst of my emotions.
I should have been aware enough to find someone to help us.
But instead, I turned to someone else. And I poured out myself, my heart and eventually my body to another man. One that wasn’t mine.
And we became inextricably entangled.
It’s been 6 years since that affair ended. Six years of healing, miracles and restoration. My husband and I have created new methods for working through my emotions, I’ve recommitted my heart to both him and to God, and frankly, my emotional swings are not nearly what they used to be.
My advice to women: Avoid becoming attached emotionally to another man. It won’t just stop there. Or at least, you won’t want it to. Instead, entangle yourself with Christ.
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Over the last three days you have heard from women who have put themselves and their sin out there for you to read, explore and critique. My hope is that someone out there will be helped by these stories and that marriages will be stronger as a result.
My goal for next week is to have some uplifting, wise older women who have gone through the ups and downs of marriage faithfully share their wisdom with us all.
Let’s pray for one another in love, grace, and truth.
Avoiding Affairs, Part 1 -I Married The Man I Had An Affair With
Avoiding Affairs, Part 2 -”How Could She Do That?!”
Oh, goodness…this series has been so helpful. I'm looking forward to next week!
.-= Lorie´s last blog post … Fun and Funky Snowman =-.
Good, hard Truth – and thank you for featuring this here! It's real – it's out there – and we are so easily deceived by lies. Can't wait for more uplifts next week.
Thanks for having these ladies share their stories.
I'm looking forward to next week too and learning what they have to share with us.
.-= Melissa G.´s last blog post … Neutral Education? =-.
Thank you Sarah Mae. You have a beautiful ministry.
.-= Sarah´s last blog post … Mommy Moments =-.
Thank you for featuring these women. Though their pasts are truly sad and full of sexual sin, their present obedience to the Lord is a beautiful testimony to the his powerful working in his children's lives. Praise God that he doesn't leave his children in their sin, but reproaches them for it and lifts them up out of it. Thank you to each of you who wanted to use your sinful past for the Glory of our King. We will all be able to use your testimonies as sobering reminders of our own sinful natures.
.-= Jessalyn´s last blog post … How to Leave a Comment =-.
I can tell you that being a ministry wife where my husband ministers to up to 70 men it could become easy to get too acquainted with them myself. We have serious safeguards and none feel restricting. It's all a matter of respect for our marriage.
.-= Sisterlisa´s last blog post … Facing the Wolves =-.
People often think of men as the one's who orchestrate affairs, cause affairs, and start affairs. But that is so untrue. I appreciate you addressing this from a woman's perspective.
~Brenda, aka PrairieLady on Twitter
.-= ~Brenda´s last blog post … Blogging By The Seat Of My Pants =-.
Thanks for these awesome testimonies! Even for those of us who aren't even married yet- it's good to store away this information that could be helpful in our future marriages. I don't want to ever fall into Satan's trap of adultery, just as these women never did. So thank you for letting us see what the 'after' looks like so we don't go into marriage thinking everything will always be peachy. We have to guard against the ways Satan tries to break our families.
I can't wait for next week!
.-= Kirsten Erin´s last blog post … My Hero, My Protector =-.
Thank you, Sarah, for posting this.
It was an honor.
I appreciate all the comments too. Boundaries are not only healthy in marriage, I believe they are necessary.
.-= Sarah Markley´s last blog post … Secrets =-.
Thanks so much. I can't wait to read next week's stories.
.-= LaDonna´s last blog post … Date Night – In Need Of Ideas =-.
I have really appreciated this series. Thank you Sarah Mae for posting it!
Marriage is something we continually need to work on….and I think all three of these posts have been very insightful!
Thank you!!