Forgiveness is… giving up our felt or perceived need and desire to punish someone for wrongdoing. Leave that in God's hands and trusting that He will deal with them … either in His grace and forgiveness of them or in judgment if they refuse to acknowledge their sin or seek redemption.
Even in the case of Saul/Paul God said "I will show him how much he will suffer for My name's sake."

Forgiveness is not… forgetting the sin. God may be able to do this and He may grant us a healed memory or dull the recall over time but humans don't just 'forgive and forget.'

Forgiveness is not… going back to the way things were before. Relationships change when trust is broken. Friendships might never be renewed. Trust has to be earned over a long period of time. The offender if trying to make amends may need to allow the offended to ask questions freely, require accountability, and be open to being 'checked up on' especially if there has been a long pattern of deception.

Forgiveness is not… being okay, joyful and unhurt. Christ forgives us but that forgiveness comes at a very heavy cost…The crucifixion of an innocent man, and He who deserved no hurt or harm at all but suffered all of that and more for my forgiveness.
When I choose to forgive someone else I often agree to take on the hurt and pain caused by that sin, willingly. Even unwillingly I am hurt by the sin of others as they also are hurt by my sins. (eg: a pregnancy out-of-wedlock can be forgiven but there is still a baby in evidence. Adultery can ruin intimacy, communication and much else for a long time.)
I may forgive and yet suffer grief and pain nevertheless.

Grace is so truly undeserved. It is those forgiven much who often love much…Magdalene, the whore, weeping to cleanse Jesus' feet and being present at the cross and the empty tomb, following Christ with everything she had. To me she speaks of gratitude that cannot express itself sufficiently in words and so lives as close as she can to Him.

I just read all of your posts on your own blog and I hate the pain that you live with. I can't imagine the amount of suffering that you endure.

This battle that you are fighting is so much bigger than you are. You don't have to fight this alone. Even if you don't tell anyone, how much have you kept for yourself? How much do you still have to hand over to Him? I realize that it may sound cheesy or like a copout and if God weren't real, then it would be both of those things. However, I believe that God can handle our wars so much better than we can. We can curl up on His lap and let the rhythm of His breath and the sound of His heart comfort us.

"The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does." -1 Peter 5:8 MSG

Yes, He does.

Serena
.-= Serena Woods´s last blog post … chasing geese =-.

I have walked in your shoes, I know that pain.
.-= Sisterlisa´s last blog post … Join Our Team =-.

Yes, Sarah, Jesus will find you. And, oh my gosh, YES, He absolutely loves you. I think that you are not far from the realization that He has been cradling you through this the whole time.

You have shared your pain here and I'm sure that there are others who will reach out to you, too. There are no 'sides' in God's love. Anyone who has His spirit in them will be filled with compassion and love for you. You are not alone.
.-= Serena Woods´s last blog post … paradox =-.

I am broken and bleeding and now one knows it really….and I think that sharpens my own pain. I really did lash out at you…but it really does hurt me twice as much to know that I am kicked in my own time of deep,deep need. I am labeled as that woman who is using the tools of the enemy to hurt you…when really…I don't want to hurt you….I'm like that wounded animal….lost in my own place of utter hurt. Do you think Jesus will find me? Do you think Jesus loves me too? I wonder those things and just weep…and I realize I am far off topic so I should just stop now.

Serena, I do apologize for my stinging remarks. If you could only know how deeply I too hurt…you might forgive me and maybe even….understand?

Your posts have been hanging over me like a dark cloud of grief for days….opening up the bottle of uncried tears within me. No, I'm not ready to forgive this other woman. In fact…I really can't even imagine a day when I will be able to.

There is much applause given to the person who sins and then finds God again, but what about the person who was destroyed by someone else's sin and is able to find God again for themselves.

Serena, maybe someday I will know God in a better way than I do now…maybe I will be able to look at this other woman and forgive. Maybe. I have to believe I WILL be able to forgive…someday.

This other woman isn't like you though. She isn't sorry for what she did…she isn't a Christian. So really…I should want to show her God's love even more so that she could come to know God's love. I just don't have it in me. She terrorized and plagued my husband's weaknesses. She chased after my husband…how do you forgive someone like this? I am not saying she is evil…sin is evil…God's grace is brilliant and undefiled.

I understand Grace though. My own husband has walked through a very difficult time of finding grace….of forgiving himself for what he did….of facing his family. It's just that I have no more grace to give.

It makes me feel very sad that I was so blasted for my story….that you were paraded as the saint and I the tool of the enemy. It still really hurts…..I do not want to hurt you Serena…because you do have a beautiful story. But right now I feel like a wounded animal….What do you do with a broken heart?

For the rest here, Just as much of a spiritual battle it was for Serena to accept forgiveness from our Lord on what decisions she made,the other poster also has a spiritual battle of pain to deal with. She needs support too.
.-= Sisterlisa´s last blog post … Join Our Team =-.

There has been much discussion in some of the recent posts about the position of the author; whether she has reconciled, and repented enough in order to be used to speak the truth. I may have a different point of view from you, your friend, or someone else. But the truth of the matter is… our opinion doesn't matter, only God's truth does. The truth will last far beyond the vapors we call our lives.

So what is the truth? Serena has uncovered one of satan's modes of operation and is now being used by God to shed light on the darkness that still holds many as slaves, captive to sin. Whether that sin is sexual immorality, or a slandering spirit, the offense matters not. Sin is the one thing in life that costs the same no matter how "expensive" it is in our eyes.

One thing that we simply don't "get", especially here in America, is that it is not about us. Romans 3:23 doesn't say only SOME have sinned. It says ALL. But the thing that we too often do with scripture is stop short of the truth and focus on "me". See, in stopping at the end of verse 23, we fail to see the true message of the work of Jesus being a part of God's ordained design, in which he allows us to participate. Seriously… did you choose the longitude and latitude at which you were born???

Later in Romans, Paul confirms that we are God's own and that nothing can separate us from His love (Rom. 8:37-39). I recently had an acquaintance pass away. In all honesty, he wasn't someone with whom most people would associate. He had a rough life, and was "living on the wrong side of town". He went to an Easter Service at church this year and met Jesus. It didn't change his socioeconomic status, get him a job, or instantly solve his relational issues. It did, however, get his name written in a book that we should all be striving to point others toward. Jesus' love for this man was not based on anything in his life. And nothing kept His love from him. I'm thankful that I was able to witness this unfold!!

I love Ephesians 2:1-10. It spells out exactly who each one of us are/ were, and who we can become through Christ. Verse 6 says that we have been raised up and seated with Christ in the heavenly places. This is not a physical heaven, it is where all of the battle in our lives take place: it is where the battle spoken of in Ephesians 6:10-12 takes place. The key in understanding these battles and living in victory is to understand two things: 1) The schemes of the devil (Eph. 6:11), and 2) Who we are in Christ.

satan has always had three areas of attack. he attacks who God is. he attacks the truth of God's Word. And, he attacks who we have become in Him. So who are we in Christ? As I referenced earlier, we are seated with Christ if we have accepted his grace by faith. But what does that do for us? It gives us the right to plunder and pillage the kingdom of darkness. Jesus is the stronger man, and he has already "overtaken the strong man". Just look up Luke 11: 21-22. It is echoed again in Matthew 12: 28-32: only with a warning in verses 30-32. Every sin of ours will be forgiven. Every sin but one. While I agree that we must strive to give a holy and acceptable offering to God, I also believe in honoring the Holy Spirit and His work in others' lives. Because ultimately, He knows how, and who to use, to advance the Kingdom. My bet is on Him using those who are willing and can relate to those who need a savior… because that's who He's been using since our human story began.