Comments on: I Had An Affair

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:17:14 +0000

I just want to thank these women for being so open and honest about their past struggles. It is not easy to lay your life out for others to see, so I am thankful that they have chosen to put themselves out there in order for others to learn.

Satan comes to lie, deceive, and destroy. In my opinion, it can happen to any of us if we don't keep our guards up. I appreciate your openness to post about marital affairs because they happen daily and as wives, we must be committed to protecting our hearts from other men. Thank you for the reminder. I think your husband is SPOT ON!
.-= Stephanie´s last blog post … Birthday Pictures/ Pregnancy Update =-.

By: Melissa Multitasking

Melissa Multitasking — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 16:46:24 +0000

I so agree with Real Life Sarah- speaking positively about your mate around your friends, family, etc. can build him up in your eyes as well. Our thoughts need to be held accountable- if you are constantly thinking negatively about your spouse you will find yourself more vulnerable to being tempted by another man.
In addition, I agree in being transparent with passwords, etc and your husband's advice is right on target.
It all boils down to never giving the enemy a foothold in the first place.
.-= Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last blog post … Reflections =-.

By: Linda

Linda — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 15:01:37 +0000

In reading through your ex-prep series I thought of a couple things myself…

1. I believe I contributed to the ending of my first marriage by constantly thinking about another man. I never talked to him or kept in touch but I did the "what if" in my mind. After my 2nd husband met him and I saw him again after many years I realized how very foolish I was having these thoughts since he was very in love with his wife and children. I think just seeing hime and talking with him (with my husband along) helped shed that illusion I carried throughout my first marriage.

2. It also reminds me of some quotes I've wrote down from Karen Kingsbury's book Redemption –
1. The more bad choices you make, the less bad your
choices seem.
2. Love is a decision – not always an easy one.

From her book Remember –
God wants us to remember our first love – both with him and with our spouse. When we remember that way, we're better able to honor the person we are unhappy with. After that, everything else falls into place.

Thank you for sharing this series with us. As I continue to strive to honor my husband. :)
.-= Linda´s last blog post … Unit Study Resources =-.

By: Nurse Bee

Nurse Bee — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:25:04 +0000

Just a thought…I am often alone with people, but strictly on a professional level. So the idea of simply never being alone with someone isn't always very practical.

By: Lisa @ Stop and Smel

Lisa @ Stop and Smel — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 13:41:08 +0000

Sarah Mae – those are great series with lots of good tips. And I think your husband is very wise!!
.-= Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates´s last blog post … Tea For Two-sday ~ A Yummy Tea =-.

By: Caroline

Caroline — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:22:31 +0000

My husband and I have been married almost 15 years and I had an affair 13 years ago with a man I knew through work. The best thing for us was that I immediately quit my job and made a commitment to being a stay-at-home wife, and now I'm a mom, too. It was such a relief to remove myself from the situation and from a very stressful working environment where I had Godless co-workers who encouraged this type of behavior. I'm not making excuses for myself, but I do want to say that this happened when I was when I was 24 and I was not saved until I was 27. Hope this can help someone in some way.

By: Anne Marie

Anne Marie — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 11:29:53 +0000

Hi Sarah….it's super nice to meet you and what a wonderful place amongst God you have here…….

I'll certainly be back :)

By: SarahMae

SarahMae — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:53:40 +0000

Thank you Sarah! I sent you an email…I'm hoping you'll "agree!" :)

By: Sarah Markley

Sarah Markley — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:48:59 +0000

sarah,

first of all i totally agree with your husband. now, i am never alone with a man. ever. it's just what has to happen.

secondly, you asked a question on my blog so I think I'll answer it here and then maybe next week answer it on my own blog. you asked where and when when i was having the affair? because he was friends with my husband and this man was basically my best friend too at the time, i would go to lunch with him. we'd meet at the gym early in the morning. and then we'd just sneak the "other" part of it when we could.

my husband "trusted" me so I could get away with a lot.

it's really sad now when i think back on this.

i know others will have questions (on my series) that are similar to this and I will answer them i think in a separate blog post. thank you so much for asking.

blessings
.-= Sarah Markley´s last blog post … My New Name: Part 2 =-.

By: Real Life Sarah

Real Life Sarah — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:45:27 +0000

I think communication and honesty is of the utmost importance, also. If you find yourself wanting to hide something from your husband, that is a red flag. I give my husband access to my facebook page, email, twitter, and I let him know where I am and who I'm with.

I adore my husband, so this is not hard, but I often tell others how awesome he is, and spend time dwelling on his positive points.

Great advice.
.-= Real Life Sarah´s last blog post … "I am the Friend" =-.