Holding on Loosely – Finding Life in the Beautiful Tension

He followed me on Twitter, and I was immediately taken by the name of his book, “Holding on Loosely”.

I can’t remember the last time I asked if I could review a book, but because the title connected with something going on in my spirit, I reached out and asked if the publisher would send me a copy. They did. Here are my thoughts on Holding on Loosely…

This book is an unfolding testimony of one man’s faith.

Pablo is a tennis coach, and the book takes place on airplanes and tournaments where he is coaching a young women named Stacey. Pablo begins his testimony with all of his short-comings, mainly his temper. He’s easily irritated, and even though he wants to “radiate the love of Jesus” he finds that he constantly messes up.

“I’ve blown it again.”

He can’t seem to live up to the standard he has imposed upon himself: be successful, control the outcome of life, stay in check, be good. He invites us into his vulnerable space where shares the nights of crying and worthlessness he feels. There is a sense of “why bother?” if I’m going to keep messing up anyway. But he doesn’t give up, instead he vows to buck up, do better, get it together. Again, he tries to work harder at being who he is “supposed” to be.

“…that little religious voice inside me is pushing self-maintenance, the need to put together the example-to-all-society Pablo once again. I try desperately to fight it but to no avail…You need to do more. The problem is I don’t know where this more is going to come from, as by now I have exhausted all my self-effort, all my striving, all my putting and holding things together in my life.”

It’s crushing when you think you can’t change; when hope seems way out of reach. When no matter how many times you try, you just keep failing to measure up. It’s a life-sucking shame-filled reality, and Pablo was experiencing it deep in his spirit.

But as God in His faithfulness and kindness does, He reached into Pablo’s heart and began a change.

The rest of the book is filled with conversations and personal insights into finally experiencing the freeing love of God. Pablo writes in a child-like faith and wonder that is compelling. Weaved in each chapter are whispers of thanks to God. Pablo begins to see life as not something to control, but as a mystery to be invited into. The “beautiful tension” he speaks of is the tension between resignation and control, what he calls “surrender.” It is surrender to the One that allows him to take the next steps in his life without demanding to know the outcome.

I call this, walking by faith.

There a few times in the book I felt like Pablo was getting a little off track, talking about “being in the zone” and finding life through the process of “being in the moment.” He is excited about the revelations he’s experiencing, and he wants to share his new found understandings with Stacey (the young woman he’s coaching), but ultimately, he resists sharing the fullness of the truth. He talks about living in the moment and letting go of control, and being “in the zone”, but he doesn’t go further by inviting Stacey into the truth and grace of the blood of Jesus. There are two things about his lack of sharing that interest me. The first is that I felt disappointed. Pablo, tell her the truth! Tell her about Jesus and the reality of why she falls short; that their is a God who picks up the pieces when we break and seals them together with his perfect blood. Tell her! I’m sad that he doesn’t, but I get it. Pablo for years believed that God was a “policeman in the sky” who only wanted him to do more and be better. So Pablo began to try and control everything, even people’s responses to God. He used to dive right into the “salvation and baptism” sermon and try and get people to believe what he believed. The problem was, Pablo was still acting out of control, not love. I think he felt that if he were to tell Stacey the specifics of God, it would be him trying to manipulate her to believe. This leads to my second observation, that Pablo genuinely cares more about Stacey finding the true, living God than his own ability to save her. It takes great faith to say, “Why don’t you ask Him to reveal who He is to you”. That’s what Pablo said to Stacey, and then he prayed and trusted that God would reveal Himself to her. Pablo’s choice to not blatantly share the gospel challenges my own convictions, but at the same time, I am enamored with his faith.

This is a man who can’t help but dance on the beach because his heart is so filled with the love of God that he can’t contain himself. His faith and child-like wonder is catching.

If you want a simple, easy-to-read book that encourages your faith through testimony, I think you’ll enjoy Holding on Loosely.

“The best way for us to experience His love is to stop pretending and start being our true selves.” 

You can buy the book through Amazon here.

Read more about the book here.

You can follow Pablo on Twitter here.

Me at UPS sending my signed contract to Tyndale

It’s official.

31 Days to Clean is going to print and I’m just a wee bit excited.

WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!

{ahem}

I love love love love love the folks at Tyndale. I had the priveledge of meeting them a couple of months ago and they impressed me so much. Just neat people.

We’re hoping to have the book out by Spring 2013 (keyword here is hoping). Thank you all so much for your support of this book-if it weren’t for you, this never would have happened. My deepest thanks.

Also, if you’re excited about 31 Days to Clean going to print, would you take a minute and thank the amazing people at Tyndale? Their Twitter is @TyndaleHouse and their Facebook is Facebook.com/TyndaleHouse.

I’m off to do some happy dancing on this glorious pretend Spring day. Have a beautiful one friends!